I don't want to ruin every book you're going to read from now, but have you noticed they all have the word

“Their lips crashed together” - Every fanfic kissing scene. Makes me wonder if the authors have ever kissed anyone?

I just listened to 63 hours of Ayn Rand's 'Atlas Shrugged' on Audible and everyone was constantly 'incredulous' and they did everything 'incredulously'. What's wrong with astounded, amazed, astonished, surprised, taken aback, disbelieving, doubtful, sceptical etc? And everyone seemed to conduct every conversation very loudly - everyone 'cried', 'screamed', 'shouted', 'yelled', 'shrieked'. Gave me a headache just thinking about it.

Something I've noticed is that in a certain kind of book what the heroine is wearing is always detailed as well as the way she wears her hair. It's so boring. I don't care about her flowered shirt with turned up jeans, or her subtle scarf teamed with a loose cashmere wrap (not those combinations, obviously).

And in the same kind of books the hero always turns up for an unexpected 'supper' with some pate, some French cheese (type specified), some crusty bread and a bottle of her favourite Merlot. They always eat this kind of meal in books. They never have jambalaya or pork chops and mash.

People booming is my pet hate. ‘Hello Jilly’ he boomed.

I say that word often

It really bugs me how everyone ever in the history of all books, when they drink something, they always"sip" it.

I am a gulper, my mum is a gulper and my dad is a gulper. My son is a gulper. Bloody sippers, letting their drinks get cold/warm/flat.

Yes, personally I've always found that butter does nothing to improve any leather bag I've ever owned

Anyone else notice that people's words always 'catch' in their throats?

Oh, how long have I spent trying to find soft, buttery (WTF?) leather in my tiny price range?

Hot liquid, padded, grimaced, a slick of lipstick and then the slim young heroine shrugs on her coat and slings a bag that's always made of the softest, buttery leather over her shoulder, before heading out to begin her day.....

Ha! I came here to say 'pad'
Eurgh.

Sophie Kinsella constantly has someone rubbing her dry face. Use some bloody moisturiser, woman!

I stopped reading Elizabeth George because characters kept 'forking up' food and something was always 'coruscating'.

Another pet hate is the 'scooping up' of small children or women.

I'm so late to this thread but I just need to bow down before ScribblyGum and her genius

Actually my dad has always complained about detritus in the kitchen. He also refers to washing up as 'slaying the dragon' and insists his tea is poured four-fifths full then stirred until homogeneous. Haven't met books using those, yet.

Rheumy eyes become milky eyes in misery lit.

Mumsnet has made me realise that I hate a lot of things. But I didn't realise I hated all these phrases.

"a slick of lipstick" and "padding" are the absolute worst.

In crime books the suspect always does things slowly. 'She blinked, slowly'. 'She swallowed, slowly'. Doing anything slowly pretty much marks you out as a murderer.

Drifted - the clean scent of his body wash drifted across to her nose

3eyedraven

‘rheumy eyes’

Perhaps there’s a cold going round in the book.

And also have to say that the Joanna Trollope novel would then spend the next 10 chapters with the characters meeting in different combinations over drinks discussing whether or not to tell Archie. This will be the only plot momentum.

Love this thread and agree about the padding. I get tired of the way Joanna Trollope's characters always have a drink halfway through their sentence. 'The thing is' as she poured the tea, 'no-one seems to have told Archie yet.'
Not written but when I watch Netflix with the subtitles onI am amazed by how often people scoff.

Gah *hear obviously.

Asphalt.

How often do you here people say "he walked across the asphalt"? I went through a phase of it being in every book I read.

Coming late to this thread (I was reading it last night but managed to lose it),

And yet I've never heard a single friend complaining about the detritus in their kitchen.

begs the question, surely the OP has heard a married friend making this complaint?

My teenage reading included my brothers' Alistair Macleans, which featured many fists connecting with solar plexuses (plexi?), and my mother's Woman's Weekly romantic fiction, full of sardonic men who smoked cheroots (never cigarettes). Do they still do that?

Has anyone mentioned Jilly Cooper yet?

This thread is great! Hot liquid, padded, grimaced, a slick of lipstick, stepping out of one's clothes, and troubled characters having to listen to opera music, alone, in a carthartic manner.