What's your pet hate in books?

Books that I read and think I could have done better but I cant get an agent!

chick lit

anything involving the words conspiracy/holy grail/the Da Vinci Code

where the author is blatantly in love with the lead charactre(Dorothy L Sayers, Ngaio Marsh) or is Mary Sue -ing

stream of consciousness

no satistfying story or ending

I once knew a rich someone who was rich because his dad had invented that raised gold foily lettering stuff. I disapproved

My pet hate is voyeuristic truelife tales of degradation & misery - sadly, this blurb comes from the Book People catalogue, and really I love them, but anyway -

"But there comes a point in her preteen years - maybe it's the night she first tries to run away and is exposed to drugs, alcohol, and sex all at once - when Cupcake's story shifts from a tear-jerking tragedy to a dark, deeply disturbing journey through hell."

I can't stand those middle England village books where everyone lives in a tight knit community and then newcomers arrive and all jolly hell breaks loose. What's her name? You know who I mean. Judy someone? all the book covers look alike - a fancy garden, a wooden chair with a floppy hat on it.

I don't like anything set in a wilderness - Newfoundland, Australian outback etc. Also would never buy anything with raised gold lettering on the cover.

the thing cod cites is called Mary-Sue-ing :

read all abaht it

austrian

I see, moondog. I'm instead into mitteleuropean jewish litterature, fall of the Austrain empire etc

books where single women find suitable boyfriends despite living in tiny villages/working from home etc

James Patterson calling his book "London Briges" because they are all called after nursery rhymes, except he's too lazy to research the nursery rhyme that is "London Bridge IS falling down" - and I watched an interview with him once and he is so far up his own a*se!

am I the only one who thinks that sebastian faulkes is overrated?

tHERE WAS ONE jEWISH ONE i DID LIKE...lINDA GRANT!
yEAH,SHE'S GREAT.

yes, agree about whinging women!
Have to say that I love jewish literature, joseph roth, elias canetti etc...

Chicklit,....and...dare I say this....am aware will probably get slaughtered here, but I often find books written by male authors lacking in emotion or empathy. I find the writing style harsh. Sebastian Faulkes not included in above.

when the author clearly has a favourite word and it crops up again and again

Anything by Tony Parsons

Japanese sagas involving generations of women who are either geishas/concubines or slaving in paddy fields.

Anything about Jewish identity and meaning.

Anything by whinging women along the lines of I know why the caged bird sings/Why does the shackled bear roar/Who is the little white lynx.

My sister once tried to give me a book (coming of age saga natch) about a Japanese girl who wanted to be Jewish......

Bad grammer. The one that really get's to me is the lack of speech marks, speech and thoughts get all muddled. Drives me mad.

Message withdrawn

LOL
'Virge was never a great follower of fashion, rather she would take up a character or a period, anything from Audrey Hepburn to Lara in Dr Zhivago, the fifties in Paris or the thirties in Berlin, and then reinterpret it for her own use'.

MORE:

• novels which tell you how the protagonist is feeling all the time.

• Books where we are invited to sympathise with the main character despite the fact that they are quite clearly up their own rectum - here's an example

• Jumping from one character's point of view to another within the same scene.

• badly-edited books - e.g. where stuff like rogue commas and bad grammar and spelling has slipped through.

• anything written by anyone under 25.

• Travelogue in place of narrative (first 200-odd pages of "The Beach").

• books peppered with popular culture references with the shelf-life of yoghurt.

excellent list UQD

yes adad, very yes.
....and there are too many like that around at the moment, leaves you feeling so deflated.

agree with aDad about endings too.

• London geography used as shorthand for description.

• London place-names/ stree-names thrown in all over the place as if we give a shit.

• Feeble sci-fi/fantasy trope/mcguffin used to move along an otherwise moribund plot - viz Jenny Colgan and The TT's Wife.

• Interchangeable glossy flirty twentysomething characters all called Kate and Fiona and Polly.

• Books which start with two smug middle-class characters having a meaningful conversation in their kitchen.

• Books where middle-class affluence is taken as a given - we are told they are "short of money" but they have a holiday home in France and little Tilly/Alfie has private school and violin lessons.

• Names of clothes and cosmetics thrown in willy-nilly.

• Male characters whose sole purpose is to wave their dick about.

• Female characters whose sole purpose is to exist as fantasy-objects for male narrator.

• Endless, tedious recitation of what people are wearing, drinking, eating etc.

• Books where you get to page 75 and nothing has happened yet.

• When you are only told on page 103 what someone looks like, by which time you have built up your own picture anyway.

shit endings

where you get to the end and think "oh is that it?"