What's your pet hate in books?

Undigested research annoys me, where it feels like they have just copied something straight out of a book - Jean M. Auel's 'Clan of the Cavebear' books are terrible for this - they these have long lists of Ice Age flora and fauna which she has clearly got from some academic and then copied directly into the text.

My biggest hate, however, is when the author was writing some contemporary book and wasn't quite sure how to end it, and then some big historical event happened, like 911 or the outbreak of WW2, (or even worse, one which merely felt big at the time, like the death of Diana) so they decide to stick it on the end of the book because it felt so momentous at the time, but in retrospect it just looks naff.
There's a David Lodge novella where he does that, and I just finished a Libby Purves one ( I know, but actually they are quite good) which wraps everything up with everyone getting emotional over 911.
Writers are supposed to have detachment FFS!

Oh yeah and I hate hate hate badly written children's books - I always think 'We are going to have to read this hundreds of times, you bastards, how could you do this to us?'

Oh and 'That's not my....' books (if you have toddlers you will know what I mean) where the touchy bit doesn't really fit the word it's meant to. ('That's not my snowman, his arms are so wavy' - corrugated cardboard does NOT represent waviness you moron!)

Ooh didn't realise I was carrying around so much suppressed rage.

Jeffrey Archer - it's hard to stop turning the pages, but at the end you think 'that was a waste of time - what a load of bollocks'.

I really don't like finding a dried bogey from the previous reader's nose squashed in between pages.

Amazing how often that happens in second hand books.

Writers who do not know the meaning of crescendo.

Lines from other writers at the start of the book in a foreign language and not translated.

AJ - I'm the same - I can't throw a book away - ends up in the charity shop instead....I am also incapable of buying one book at a time. I had a friend who used to use the excuse that 'they get lonely in the bag on the way home'

Anne - at "probably chicklit". In that case they were already recycled!

missing words, that the author and the editor seem to have missed.

I can't forget for at least 2 chapters!

Crime novels where

a) the 'perp' is painfully obvious from the beginning only to be "revealed" at the end in the weakest twist imaginable; or

b) the 'perp' is wheeled out at the end and didn't feature at all, thus not enabling reader to guess their identity despite being encouraged to think it was someone already mentioned.

Yuk.

I don't read chicklit because i know I won't like it - read 'Bookends' by Jane Green and assume they are all like that. Nothing beats Gone With The Wind or Jane Austen for romance anyway so re-reads are always best!

Also novels where the author is showing how clever he (usually a he) is. Eg Julian Barnes (apart from Arthur & George) and Umberto Eco (Foucault's Pendulum is the first book I ever willingly got rid of).

BTW am I a Bad Person for judging my sister-in-law? - she was moving house and threw away most of her books. THREW AWAY!! Not even gave to charity! Travesty! You can't just throw away the written word! And it's the ultimate recyclable commodity - so much potential joy to another reader. (Having said that, they were probably chick-lits).

Brill Unquiet.
psml at fantasy exam

Not read this but I've had it recommended for anyone suffering Fairy Overkill!

Unquiet Dad - lol at that exam!! so true.....
I have been known to read absolute sh*te but generally, as Moondog says, on long flights or on a beach......my highly discerning (usually) partner's only criteria for a holiday read is how thick is it (the thicker - I mean pageswise - the better....). His pet hate would be any book with a map in the front (back to fantasy I think )

Ah, that explains a lot!

Thankfully, dd (6) has just started reading them to herself, rather than wanting me to do so (after the first zillion I just refused to read any more). She loves them, as she can read one a night with minimal effort. I keep trying to steer her towards something a bit less crap....

My DD1 (aged 5) is sooooo in love with the Daisy Meadows books. I personally make sure its DH's turn to read if it's going to be a "fairy blah blah" story. Has anyone else noticed how often the word 'dismay' is used in those books?
I should give her some Judy Blume to read, but maybe she is a bit young for that yet.

ellbell - Daisy Meadows is a committee! I know one of them. Sorry if this punctures any illusions! Those of us with DDs had better keep it from them.... (but yes, I agreee, Jack sodding Frost is the most annoying and least convincing villain ever...)

moondog - come on, it's ALL made up! It's fiction! I've read books set in modern-day London which bear less relation to reality than those set in the Forest of Doom or the Lands of Desolation ruled over by the Evil Overlord Kssdgh'hagtrkl...

Think you will enjoy this though!

I hate badly written sex scenes - especially where they have been built up to be something passionate or romantic and the writer uses terms or phrases (like err c&nt) that you just would not want to read when you're trying to be sexy (take note Iain Banks!).

I also can't bear holes in the plot - can't bear it. I've been known to stop reading a book when I've figured out that something in the plot was just not feasible.

Dean Koontz is another one who does that Bewilderbeast. Annoying.

Soz for double post

Incidentally, just read a fab book called 'wasting police time' by a policemen (I forget his name). Quite worrying but also pretty funny, would recommend for a bit of light dip-into reading.

Incidentally, just read a fab book called 'wasting police time' by a policemen (I forget his name). Quite worrying but also pretty funny, would recommend for a bit of light dip-into reading.

I cannot stand the books about terrible childhoods - it seemed that when David Pelzer had his success there was suddenly a slew of traumatised adults who wished to recount their childhoods - I don't doubt it is cathartic to share their experiences but for money?

Anything with a cowering child and an emotive title really puts me off.

poor or no punctuation, this is unacceptable unless you are gabriel garcia marquez

books written by the same author where the first one was good but every other book is exactly the same, Joanne Harris step forward and be very very ashamed of yourself

I also have a thing about Auto biographies by people who are to young to have a life worth writing a book about and who are to thick to write in the first place.

Christ on a bike, moony! You won't read chick-lit, but you'll feast on that rotten carp!

Wot are you like?

Can I just confess to fantasies of torturing Daisy bloody Meadows by making her spend all eternity reading her own sodding books (preferably chained under a trailer in Idaho).

(Neverending stream of hogwash about fairies - about 9 gazillion books, all with the same plot - for those of you not blessed with a dd between the ages of 4 and 8).