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What are the things you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent? Tell us for a chance to win a copy of YOU'RE SO MUMMY + a YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS!

136 replies

UrsulaMumsnet · 22/02/2016 11:52

Set aside the Gina, silence the baby-whisperers and shelve the Jo Frost manuals. This is the book to make new mothers feel better about themselves.

No tips, no advice, no routines, no philosophies - just an honest account of two writers' adventures in the twenty-first century Motherland.

Alex and Sarah are two mothers and lifelong friends, whose hilarious book is the perfect antidote to all the smug, scolding, impossible-to-achieve tomes of advice that are passed around baby yoga classes up and down the country.

Read an extract

Tell us the one thing you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent for a chance to win a copy of You're So Mummy by Alex Manson-Smith and Sarah Thompson plus A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS

This discussion is sponsored by Michael Joseph and will close on 21 March

What are the things you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent? Tell us for a chance to win a copy of YOU'RE SO MUMMY + a YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS!
What are the things you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent? Tell us for a chance to win a copy of YOU'RE SO MUMMY + a YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS!
OP posts:
janjan29 · 24/02/2016 22:27

So many! But the first one that springs to mind is the old "lick my finger to wipe something of their face". Blush

ladydepp · 24/02/2016 14:15

I was so annoyingly smug before I had children:

I would never:
-let my toddler cry or have a tantrum in public
-buy plastic toys, (only wooden toys would be allowed)
-let my children eat sweets, chocolate or crisps
-talk about poo or wee or vomit other than with a doctor

and I memorably told my mother when I was pregnant first time "I will never move the breakable objects out of child's reach because my child will obey me when I say 'No, don't touch that'".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - I was an idiot.

And I never thought I would spend so many hours of each day just PICKING STUFF UP

Clawdy · 23/02/2016 22:36

I never thought getting four solid hours of sleep would seem absolutely wonderful.

BigGapMum · 23/02/2016 22:13

I never thought that I'd turn into a carbon copy of my own mother, but it looks like its heading that way. I'm fighting it though.

SuzCG · 23/02/2016 21:01

I never thought I would lick a tissue and use it to wipe up my kids face - but I do, in emergencies now!

1033MICHELLE · 23/02/2016 15:36

I never thought I would lift up my baby and smell her bum!!

Instanthit · 23/02/2016 13:14

I never thought I'd be texting my partner whilst he's at work to tell him about the latest contents of our son's nappy. (Who knew that blueberry skins would come out completely intact?)

verap · 23/02/2016 12:43

Let them watch TV, sleep in our bed and hide sweets in the house that I don't want them to eat

mazgoli · 23/02/2016 12:13

Eat something from someone else's mouth!

amyandthehorribles · 23/02/2016 10:59

I never thought I would dread the weekends. My three horribles hate each other when they are all together - with weekends being the epitome of their horribleness. They will fight, bicker, scream , wipe bogeys on each other, moon at each other, the list continues.....It doesn't matter if we are at home or out and about, it will still descend into chaos and us parents looking like we should have been committed to the mental asylum. We relish the return of school on the Monday....

Susangilley7 · 23/02/2016 10:31

I swore I would never say "because I say so"! I do regularly!!

gemmie797 · 23/02/2016 09:41

I never thought I'd have to closely encounter the showy Mummy parade with their boasts of how little Farquhar mastered Beethoven at 3, usually while my child is rolling in a puddle eating dirt 😆

agnapoop · 23/02/2016 09:36

I never thought I'd be talking the colour of poops and becoming so obsessed my children were regular.

cathisherwood · 23/02/2016 08:52

I never thought I would have to climb over toilet cubicle walls to release child that had locked herself in

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/02/2016 00:41

Ill not I'll Confused

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/02/2016 00:40

Catch a poo in my hand cos it is easier to wash my hands than change the sheets... let someone spit chewed food into my hand...
Pick someone else's nose...
Stay awake for 50 hours because someone else was I'll...
Stand toe to toe with a head teacher then Home School someone for 4 years because it was what they needed...

LifeUnderCover · 22/02/2016 22:30

I never thought I would go through such a wide range of emotions in just one day, hour or even minute!

Crouchendmummy · 22/02/2016 22:16

I never thought I'd love cbeebies so much - for so many reasons!!

Tiggywinkler · 22/02/2016 21:37

Never thought I'd suck the snot from my baby's nose with my own mouth so he could breathe properly again.

(Bought a snot sucking device now.)

lolapops1 · 22/02/2016 21:35

Never thought I would pick someones nose for them,or wipe their face with my spit!

Anj123 · 22/02/2016 21:32

I never thought I would have to eat chocolate sneakily while my daughter wasn't looking and have to hide the evidence afterwards!

cambridgemumof4 · 22/02/2016 21:30

I never thought I would have to stop going away every weekend to see friends and family in far off places......

kateandme · 22/02/2016 21:26

touch another persons poo so much and be kind of ok with it haha

Mindfulofmuddle · 22/02/2016 21:10

I never thought I could feel so utterly vulnerable and like a lioness in pretty much equal measure, on pretty much a daily basis. Having children is the craziest emotional roller coaster that you can't possibly imgine, until you have them Smile

glenka · 22/02/2016 20:57

I never thought I would like singing nursery rhymes so much