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Original poster

Has anyone read "A Life's Work" by Rachel Cusk?

39 replies

Greensleeves · 30/05/2006 20:47

I've read it once and am reading it again. I found it immensely powerful, and it rings unnervingly true in lots of places.

Anyone else read it?

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hewlettsdaughter · 07/06/2006 17:21

Liked "A Life's Work" and Kate Figes' book. Agree with bumbleweed re PND.

bumbleweed · 07/06/2006 17:04

I'm another one who got alot out of this book. What rang true for me was the shock of how much was involved in looking after a little baby, and the feeling of helplessness and being caught in some kind of weird loop aside from the rest of the world. Especially being an independent professional person.

I didnt find her moany or negative - just a realistic-seeming description of how different life suddenly felt - I dont think she expresses negativity about her daughter herself. Also dont think you can assume that someone who has feelings of ambivalence and experiencing how difficult it is coping with a crying/colicky baby and the pressures of breast-feeding necessarily has PND.

Agree her maverick chilcare arrangements are bizarre!

morningpaper · 07/06/2006 13:50

She WAS one of the first to write this sort of thing, so it was very brave at the time

I found it very powerful and very true.

Must read it again!

franca70 · 07/06/2006 13:48

Is she really? I started her last novel (can't even remeber the title) but didn't finish it, I was bored after a few pages.

asphodel · 06/06/2006 18:43

Yeah, I loved it too. Have read it a few times.
She is incredibly righteous, self-obsessed, and snobbish. But she writes magnificently, and is properly dry and funny about the experience. And I loved the inserts from the other books. The Coleridge, and the Madam Bovary. I've met her in real life and I think she's a vile person. But she's a brilliant writer.

franca70 · 06/06/2006 16:44

i read the book twice and loved it. Can't remember her feelings of hatred towards her children, though. Must read it again then, as my memory's gone. Like Orlando I think it's an intelligent book, and ironic too. Irony doesn't seem to have much space when pregnancy and materniity are concerned, unfortunately.

beansontoast · 06/06/2006 16:08

i absolutely love this book.

i read it before i had ds...and was duly depressed!

i read it when ds was still pretty wee and it rang a slightly different bell...but i still loved it..

i read it again pretty recently and was p*ssing myself...at the 'rapid response unit' stuff .

i didnt necessarily feel all the hthings she felt..but she's a brilliant read.

you should read 'a country life'(or something like that..) for some corking writing.

FrannyandZooey · 30/05/2006 21:53

Oh blimey, were we arguing???

LOL I missed it.

I don't give a toss if you like the book Greeny, we don't have to agree all the time :)

WelshBoris · 30/05/2006 21:48

I was thinking that!

dont argue over a book greeny and franny, if you do it would be like my parents splitting up

niceglasses · 30/05/2006 21:46

Oh no, hated it too. Very annoying in an 'i am the only one who ever had a kid way'.

The only book of this ilk I can give space to is the Anne Enright one which has much more humour in it and doesn't take itself too bloody seriously - 'Making Babies' I think.

Original poster
Greensleeves · 30/05/2006 21:43

Hmmm.....I can see your point there too. It isn't particularly normal to like your children, is it?

I still think this book has some value for women who are battling with toweringly negative feelings and associated guilt though...

I refuse to fall out with you over a sodding book. I am parping my own thread ShockGrin

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LadyWitchofWaterford · 30/05/2006 21:41

Kate Figes doesn't dislike her children iirc (and I may not!), she just acknowledges that for some people it's a big shock and v hard.

FrannyandZooey · 30/05/2006 21:39

Are you sure, Greeny? That's not what I've heard

Wink
Original poster
Greensleeves · 30/05/2006 21:38

I can see your point Franny, but I don't need to read a book about liking one's children - I know it's not abnormal or shameful Grin

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FrannyandZooey · 30/05/2006 21:36

Oh Greeny, read something written by someone who likes their children, something joyous

Or write it yourself.

Original poster
Greensleeves · 30/05/2006 21:35

Haven't read Kate Figes, I might try and get it now!

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LadyWitchofWaterford · 30/05/2006 21:25

Mind you, all I can remember about the Figes book is that I liked it so who am I to comment on anything here? Brain like mush, that's me.

LadyWitchofWaterford · 30/05/2006 21:23

I have a friend who was havng a v hard time with her children and gave the Figes book to a friend who was pregant accidentally in an 'I implore you to reconsider' kind of way!

motherinferior · 30/05/2006 21:22

There's a solidity to Kate Figes' book. Which I read in pregnancy and shuddered at, and then read with a small baby and grasped in delight to my overflowing norks.

motherinferior · 30/05/2006 21:21

Hmmmm: what I felt was that in fact she was universalising her own experience, and simultaneously not considering that she might have anything as earthily common as PND. She made me feel very, er, lumpen about my own misery over having a small baby.

Yep, lumpen versus wafty, that's how I felt.

Tell you who I did like - Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott.

Snafu · 30/05/2006 21:20

Grin www (and Blush at my apostrophe shocker)

LadyWitchofWaterford · 30/05/2006 21:19

Snafu, absolutely re Kate Figes, I remember that. Yes, it is the one with the black and white bottle on it, see, I remember the cover but not the book, message there somewhere!

Orlando · 30/05/2006 21:19

And what a blessed relief from all those soft-focus, pastel-clad women in the pregnancy books of the time. When I was pregnant for the first time 12 years ago I thought that the rest of my life would be lived out in shades of dove grey and peach and an attitude of calm acceptance. Having a baby seemed to involved undergoing some Stepford-wife type transformation into a simpering girl in a pinafore. Cusk's book didn't come out for another 6 years or so, but it was the first time I saw maternity portrayed in anything like a realistic, or intelligent way.

FrannyandZooey · 30/05/2006 21:16

No, as I said, I didn't read it. I don't think I could, so I can't comment any further. It worries me, though.

Original poster
Greensleeves · 30/05/2006 21:14

Have you read it, Franny? I didn't read it as being about hatred for one's child at all. I wouldn' have felt much familiarity with it if I had.:) However it does deal with feelings of grief/fear/frustration and rage, which I think ARE normal in pregnancy/childbirth/early motherhood. The experience of women who suffer birth trauma and PND is made a million times worse by the fact that they often feel alone, abnormal and guilty about these feelings. I found that her book helped me with that. I didn't find it hateful or self-indulgent, I found much of it very tender and more prepared to deal with the visceral and complex nature of the experience rather than pretending that it's all so natural it's a breeze. It's not, for a lot of women.

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