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Original poster

Fiction cliches you hate

337 replies

SPBInDisguise · 30/12/2012 00:11

I read mostly crime and thriller.
Can't bear books that take the first hundred pages to describe the landscape. Thick frost, frozen lake, snowy trees, onto the action please.
Detectives that drink lots of coffee and work all night but somehow seem to actually work very little

OP posts:
BOFingSanta · 30/12/2012 23:11

Any over-described outfits, especially if it involves the use of brand names- "She slipped on her Marc Jacobs cardigan and fiddled with the buttons on her Alice Temperley blouse" etc.

It really irritates me.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 30/12/2012 23:04

Grin Bunty, they're all so bloody formulaic aren't they? My five year old has more imagination.

StairsInTheNight · 30/12/2012 23:02

now i am thinking of goat slot narrowed eyes. snurk Grin

Wheresmypopcorn · 30/12/2012 23:01

Sorry - lusting after

Wheresmypopcorn · 30/12/2012 23:01

In fiction, the dippy girl who has a crap career and is slightly overweight always lands up with a rich intelligent man who everyone else is listing after.

Trills · 30/12/2012 22:56

I think they mean from top to bottom, not side to side.

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:54

I'm not especially fond of people who narrow their eyes.

That's an anatomical impossibility actually.

GreenyEyes · 30/12/2012 22:38

Male characters who have been working all night (poring over law papers or unsolved missing persons cases usually) who run their fingers over their stubble, with bleary eyes.

Female characters who 'jut out their jaw' defiantly. That can't be a good look, surely? Piss off she said, doing her best Jimmy Hill impression Confused

Trills · 30/12/2012 22:35

Instead of saying it complicatedly.

Bessie123 · 30/12/2012 22:32

Can I move the thread back to cliches? I hate books with loads of 's/he said, simply'

sundaywriter · 30/12/2012 22:30

you'll enjoy the singer-songwriter Feist too then Grin

sundaywriter · 30/12/2012 22:29

yes, I did wonder about that, I was thinking now is stinking the new 'baaad'
top cliche book I read a while ago was by Elizabeth Haynes, she did quite a good stalker boyfriend book which was always recommended on here - well the follow up's a top turkey
heroine is ex lap dancer who has retired to the country to live on a houseboat

CaseyShraeger · 30/12/2012 22:28

I think the Brodys were supposed to have met at school if you ignore the age gap between the actors so if there were at of Nicks she could feasibly have known him as Brody.

I have been assured that "feisty" comes from the same root as "fart" and always enjoy that image when a heroine is described as feisty.

sundaywriter · 30/12/2012 22:27

thanks, I'll have a decko on amazon, is always good to find a new author

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:23

stonking. NOT stinking. Blush

She was a lovely writer. I adore her books.

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:21

milk maids face Stairs Grin.
Blame the iPad!

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:20

Dorothy Dunnett.

The Lymond Series or Niccolo Series.

Or King Hereafter.

Absolutely stinking historical novelist, but needs concentration. I keep rereading her books and still find something new.

But she is a bit marmite - I know many who love her but you need to get into it.

Her research was utterly awesome.

StairsInTheNight · 30/12/2012 22:17

mail...aids face?

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:16

milk maids face ffs

StairsInTheNight · 30/12/2012 22:16

Therefore my eyes are sludgy green. Can I have alabaster skin too, and full coral lips please.

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:16

She described mail aids face leaning against the side of a cow "like a coin on Byzantine velvet"

I'm paraphrasing a bit but that's the gist.

StairsInTheNight · 30/12/2012 22:14

Oh you mean gooseberry eyes.

sundaywriter · 30/12/2012 22:14

go on, salmo - who was it? I'd read her!

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2012 22:13

Grin No!

Very pale almost colourless - like frog spawn. That's why I loved that author.

Her descriptions stopped you in your tracks.

StairsInTheNight · 30/12/2012 22:11

WTF pond jelly? You mean shy yellow eyes speckled like a pear?

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