Can someone explain fanfiction?

hahahahahaha love the review, thanks!

Masticating!! What an unfortunate spelling error.

There's an amazing blog where this guy reviews books chapter by chapter. He started with Twilight I think, and then did Harry Potter - it's amazing to read through, it reminds you of how it felt to read the books yourself for the first time.

Anyway, he did My Immortal for charity and it was so awful he actually gave up halfway through, but it's hilarious. I'll see if I can find a link.

Hee! Enjoy!

There is a brilliant Harry Potter/Life on Mars crossover fic where Gene Hunt bullies a young Snape I can't link as my internet is buggering about but it's on Fanfic.net under Life on Mars. There aren't many fics there should be easy enough to find.

Slash is durty. Never, ever trust a MNer person who writes it.

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that , I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.

They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it.

Then I looked out the window and screamed Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks."EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in.

"Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!""I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT ." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE BECAUSE ." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

Twilight sluts anonymous?

"Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door.

Then?We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words? Vampire!I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed."No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much."No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people."VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled."

sorry sorry last one

"We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then? he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away."

One HP fanfic I would heartily recommend is Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. I haven't actually finished it yet as it currently stands at 500K words and is, I think, a work-in-progress but it is hilarious, well-written (unlike My Immortal which is hilarious for entirely the wrong reasons ). It's set in an alternate universe where Harry has been raised by scientists and decides to apply scientific method to magic when he gets his Hogwarts letter.

It has a pg13 equivalent rating so I'd say you're safe if you don't like slash.

Isn't there quite a lot me slash involving Frodo and Sam from LOTR?

"The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him."

"Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then? suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then?.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was?.Dumbledore!"

it is funny isn't it, it's not a chemical imbalance in my brain?

What's wrong with a bit of gratuitous titillation?

It would appear that there are levels of fanfiction and people who take it more seriously than others...

oh please read 'my immortal' I might have been drunk or on drugs when I first read it but cried with laughter for hours

can find it by googling 'worst fanfic ever', hope it is still there

I write Bad Girls fanfic. I do roughly original plot but extending beyond the storyline, backstory, what happened next etc but some people use the characters and totally change the setting. There are some really good stories out there and some utter shit.

Bertie - I'm breast feeding my youngest as I type, so links or milk equally applicable!

There's a sequel to that fic, that I'm saving for on holiday. Hoping it's equally good.

milk?? Link!

Slash is male on male erotica, specifically. So 50 shades isn't slash. More PWP (porn without plot)!

Thanks for the milk Disorderly, am enjoying that one :)

sorry link www.fanfiction.net/s/4594634/1/FINDING_HIMSELF

I don't read much HP fic but this is one I enjoyed (Cedric Diggory lives at the end of GoF and it retells OotP.) ]]www.fanfiction.net/s/4594634/1/FINDING_HIMSELF]]
If you google it you will find a pdf which you can download to iPad/kindle etc.. if you have one.

Twilight fanfic is a strange thing, as a lot of it is AH (all human), with the vampire characters written as humans but with similar issues (Edward feeling not good enough for Bella for some other reason than being soul-less). That's all that I like really, SM's vampire inconsistencies annoy me.

Join us on the TSA thread, we can link you lots of good Twilight fics, and there are some big HP fic fans there too.