Favourite 50 Shades of Grey metaphor / cliche / example of very, very bad writing

36 replies

BeckyBendyLegs · 26/06/2012 18:18

Anyone else got any? I have loads but my so far all-time favourite is: 'My medulla oblongata just pole vaulted my spleen'.

Brilliant! Couldn't be more awful!

But I am currently reading the second book, despite thinking these books are pretty crap!

OP posts:

Valpollicella · 26/06/2012 22:18

Apex! Say pussy, vagina, cunt or something else ffs

Valpollicella · 26/06/2012 22:16

The fact her subconcious is in constant contact with her....

Its your subconcious! You are ergo not aware of it! It cant rise from its chaise longue or lick its lips or whatever

laracroft2001 · 26/06/2012 22:13

'my sex'
'there'
'inner goddess'

Arrrrgggghhhh

Trills · 26/06/2012 22:11

AT least it's encouraging safe sex! :o

picnicbasketcase · 26/06/2012 22:09

'Familiar sound of foil packet', for God's sake woman, just say condom.

Trills · 26/06/2012 22:08

First to link this blog gets a prize, right?

letseatgrandma · 26/06/2012 22:07

biting her lip
a sharp intake of breath

Alabama100 · 26/06/2012 22:04

The way she CONSTANTLY uses the same words over and over again...if she says flush again I'm going to punch that ana(!) another one is the lip biting thing and the fact that Christian "growls".....the book is like it's written by a 13 year old whose handed in their creative writing homework!

Original poster

BeckyBendyLegs · 26/06/2012 18:31

Perhaps it only ever happens when you meet a man with copper highlights whose trousers deliciously fall off his hips. He's so hot. Holy Moses!

OP posts:

aimingforthesky · 26/06/2012 18:28

Oh my!

HolofernesesHead · 26/06/2012 18:21

Im not even sure what that means! As metaphors go, it's a bit obscure.

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