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Original poster

50 shades of grey is a pile of shite.

215 replies

EccentricaGallumbits · 26/05/2012 22:27

Im only a couple of chapters in. please tell me it improves or i'll have to ditch it.

OP posts:
CatPower · 21/06/2012 23:38

From the third pile of shite book, in the afterglow of a six month pregnant session with the flogger/whip...

"How's my daughter?"
"She's dancing."
"Dancing? Oh wow yeah i can feel her"
He [Christian] grins as Blip Two somersaults inside me.
"I think she likes sex already."

My reaction.

Denix · 21/06/2012 20:44

I read the first, half read the second and skimmed the third just to know what happened t the end. Once you finish all three, it's blatantly clear that you have been played.... Wasted so much time on crap.

WicketyPitch · 21/06/2012 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHelsBels74 · 20/06/2012 20:51

My husband has just asked me if I want a DH flavoured Popsicle...damn you FSOG!

whatkungfuthat · 19/06/2012 21:19

Luckily there is still a small hardcore of jaded old harpies who are witheringly contemptuous Grin

CoteDAzur · 19/06/2012 21:00

Change your friends. (only half-joking)

whatkungfuthat · 19/06/2012 20:43

Annoying notifications with ratings have started appearing on fb - all 5 star. I can't hoik any further!

DontHaveAtv · 19/06/2012 17:26

lmao New!
I read the first book and it was crap. Or should I say Double crap as Anastasia keeps saying. Loads of my friends have read it and love it. Why??? I'm all for different tastes, but no taste? no way.

NewPatchesForOld · 19/06/2012 16:49

Doh, stupid me! My brain must be fuddled because of reading the drivel that is fifty shades! In my defence I haven't been on here in a long time.

Grin
CanIhavesomeginnowplease · 19/06/2012 15:26

Hahaha oh dear!

susiedaisy · 19/06/2012 10:29

Your user name, too lazy to type it all outBlushGrin

NewPatchesForOld · 19/06/2012 09:41

New???

susiedaisy · 19/06/2012 09:25

new GrinGrin

NewPatchesForOld · 19/06/2012 09:16

Oh dear Lord. I bought this book on the recommendation of my friend, who raved about it being brilliant and very raunchy etc etc. It's the worst example of writing I have ever come across. It ignores all the advice ever given to writers; "avoid repetition, avoid cliches, use natural dialogue". How the hell did this book ever reach publication?

Will Anastacia Steele need plastic surgery to rebuild her bottom lip?
Will Christian Grey sort out his asthma and thus stop his breath from 'Hitching'?
Will condom makers ever make packets that don't emit a 'ripping of the foil' sound?
And.Will.Christian.Grey.Ever.Get.Over.His.Speech.Impediment.When.Aroused.And.Manage.An.Entire.Sentence.Without.The.Full.Stops?

Puhhlleeaassee...and now she is considering rewriting the trilogy from his point of view? God help us.

susiedaisy · 18/06/2012 15:54

No definitely not a giggle!

noddyholder · 18/06/2012 14:10

It is not even a giggle but has been a triumph of PR. I get more excited unloading the dishwasher

CanIhavesomeginnowplease · 18/06/2012 14:08

Just got my confirmation through from Amazon that my copy will arrive on the 21st... Hopefully it'll be a giggle even if it is as crap as you all say!

badtasteflump · 18/06/2012 13:24

I don't know anything about 'Twilight', just that I downloaded the free sample of 50 Shades and couldn't be bothered to read that to the end, it read as if written by a (badly educated) 12 year old Hmm

susiedaisy · 18/06/2012 13:20

If you want a bit of 'ass claiming' then read the Colters trilogy by maya banks I was recommended it by a friend Hmm and it was utter utter shitty dross!! Our friendship is now under review!!Smile

LetUsPrey · 18/06/2012 13:17

It's DH's birthday tomorrow. Have I missed the Amazon next day delivery deadline I wonder?

CheerfulYank · 18/06/2012 10:17

PMSL at this thread! :o I haven't read them but am desperate to now, for the laughs. I like a good bit of smut but this sounds awful.

MrsHelsBels74 · 18/06/2012 09:53

Nipple clamps & a butt plug...& I thought romance was dead! I wonder if my husband was disappointed with the puzzle box I bought him for his last birthday Hmm

CrikeyOHare · 18/06/2012 01:04

The tampon scene - tbh, I was waiting for him to earn his red wings then Grin

CrikeyOHare · 18/06/2012 01:01

MrsHels With his finger, yes.

It's his birthday present in book 2 - she gives him a box with a butt plug & nipple clamps etc to use on her. But the butt plug is the wrong size, so he uses his finger.

Then after all the kinky fuckery (several explosive orgasms for her, natch) he declares "All I really want to do is make love to you..." - puts The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face on the stereo and then they both have more coming-apart-at-the-seams orgasms. Tsk....

I've read all three 'cos I wanted to see what would happen and had nothing better to do, but they are without question the worst books I have ever read (and I've read a few Jeffrey Archers).

MrsHelsBels74 · 17/06/2012 22:23

If you've read the other two then please tell me, does Mr Grey 'claim her ass' as he's so keen to do in the first one?