I have just read possibly the worst book in the world

May I nominate Cloud Atlas?

'Lord Of The Flies' is BRILLIANT, I tell you! :)

Kate Atkinson (apart from Museum one) = crap.

Ishiwhatshisname - Never Let Me Go and Remains Of The Day = tedious, boring crapness.

Oh no, have just bought Chesil Beach to read on holiday (guess where we're going).

However, I do rather like some of the one mentioned here, namely Kevin, Tractors, Lemon Cake, so maybe it'll turn out well.

I very rarely fail to finish a book but I hated Catcher in the Rye, and One Day was so dull! Did read Once Upon A Time In England all the way through but hated the characters and it was too depressing to even give away.

I've got an unread copy of the Hare with Amber Eyes around here somewhere... this thread is not selling it to me.

I think I will put my head above the parapet at this point and sheepishly admit that I have read all the Twilight books - in a weird way I felt that I had to so I could join in the societal jeering! The first three were trite and predictable but I soldiered on. They must have some good points because I was sufficiently interested to read Breaking Dawn, which I maintain is the best-written and most interesting of the lot (admittedly that is not saying a lot, but still).

The movies are unmitigated crap though! yes I've seen them, don't you judge me

The Hare with Amber Eyes... has ANYONE actually finished it? I tried and tried but kept falling asleep/glazing over with boredom.

Heathcliff the literary character I most detest (I appreciate there are many worse but so many people like him) - puppy murdering bastard.

I just remembered The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Only read it because some bloke trying to seduce me through books said it was his favourite book. Silly man.

Kazuo Ishiguro's 'The Unconsoled' - I think the point is that the main character is unconsoled/never gets to where he intends ... but I gave up after the first 400 odd pages.
Kate Mosse - Labyrinth is utterly appalling (how comes she sits on book prize juries after writing stuff like that?)
One more to avoid Paulo Coelho - 11 Minutes which apparently studies the "sacred nature of sex" ... and if you believe that you'll believe anything.

Ah yes! When Will There Be Good News?, by Kate Atkinson*. It took a long time to get over how shite that was. Was especially disappointing as I remember liking Behind the Scenes at the Museum.

• Answer: Never

Lucy Mangan put the boot into Wuthering Heights in the Guardian a couple of days ago - it was highly satisfying, since I did it for both O and A level, and even as a fourteen year old realised that it was bollocks.

Oh, yes, probably the most rubbish book I read was actually self-published by a FOAF. It's awful, because when you see them again you're just praying "please please don't ask me what I thought of your book, because I'm a rubbish liar"
I think he could read it in my face, sadly.

That's the chap CJ. Even as I typed it I was thinking...hmm...not right...perhaps they've all been at the Chablis enough to not notice .

Herena - Oh you are so right about Cathy. Self absorbed twot.

The Other Half Lives

Utter, utter shite

Jason Isaacs, Jason, not Jeremy

I also love Kate Atkinson with a slavish adoration and Jackson Brodie is included in that crush.

everybodyssleepyeyed - oh it was RIDICULOUSLY superficial. Mind you I was 17, so so was I!!

I've just googled the author (Jane Green) and she also wrote Babyville, which I'm ashamed to say I did read while pregnant and again recently. It actually made some good points which I didn't register until after I'd had my DS - the fact that new mums get lonely and obsess over random crap was a key one for me. Maybe her books are good if you're at exactly the right life stage for them and utterly dire otherwse!!

I dimly remember Far from the Madding Crowd - wasn't there a character who was called Cain because his mum hadn't attended church regularly and got a bit confused as to which was the 'good' one?!

And 1950shousewife - I could not STAND Cathy, she's a self-absorbed princess. She and Heathcliff deserve each other!!

I am finding this thread very therapeutic.

I also thought One Day was quite 'meh'. I like David Nicholls, loved Starter for Ten, but my mind boggles at how successful One Day has been for a fairly average romance with a faintly unusual gimmick.

100 Years of Solitude is a larf-fest compared to some Garcia Marquez. I can sincerely recommend not reading 'No-one Writes to the Colonel' - if someone had written to him, Marquez could at least have printed their letters in his book and this could not have failed to make it more interesting. In fact the best thing that could have happened to the Colonel is The Old Man (from the Old Man and the Sea) could have invited him on the boat and they could have bored the shite out of each other instead of their readers.

I actually didn't hate Digital Fortress although it was deeply silly. As a techie you get used to reading books which have cringeworthy 'faux-technical' dialogue in them, a bit like the esoteric jargon in Star Trek only worse because it's actually meant to sound real. Digital Fortress wasn't the worst sinner in this category, not by a long shot.

Rockinina - Loved Jackson Brodie (especially now I have Jeremy Isaacs firmly implanted in my brain - he's really rather lovely in the role)

But...Totally with you on Lionel Shriver. Did you read that eyegougingly bad tennis book that had two of the most dislikable hero/heroines in the entire world? I just kept thinking it had to get better. It didn't.

And am I the only one who thought Heathcliffe from Wuthering Heights was just a bit of a primadonna tosser who needed a bit of a slap? He reminded me of a giant 12 year old boy confused about his hormones.

Hello Herrena!!!

I think what annoyed me about it was that the author went down various routes that could have been interesting (her personal trainer being concerned she had anorexia, the love interest that slept with his boss) but never took it further. just felt it was superficial!

i hated Far from the Madding Crowd - predictable tosh

I quite like Martina Cole, they're usually quite mucky :)

I HATE all those ones set in Dublin, that include lots of words like dote. Usually involve female Irish, twenty something multimillionaire neighbours. How many of them are there, actually, in real life.

At school I hated Heart of Darkness and Lord of the Flies. I honestly don't think I could read Lord of the Flies again if you paid me.

I got a Kindle last month, and one of the free books I downloaded (and read) was Nipped in the Bud by Susan Sleeman, where there are regular plant jokes and the protagonist clears her name by giving up fighting and instead letting God take charge. If Amazon had explained to me in advance that this was a Christian novel with a main character called Paige Turner then I might not keep getting flashbacks.

I LOVED Vernon God Little and A Thousand Splendid Suns.

But I LOATHE any of the Kate Atkinson Jackson Brodie bullshit. Utterly unlikeable character.

And that weird, weird book by Lionel Shriver about the snooker player. Screamed 'research' all the way through.

Actually I have, everybodyssleepyeyed!

I was 17ish and had just lost a shedload of weight, so felt attractive for the first time ever. I thought that Jemima J was a piece of mind-reading genius.

Admittedly I re-read it 5 years later (having regained some of the weight and, more importantly, having realised it didn't matter) and thought it was mind-numbing twaddle.

I guess sometimes you have to be in the right frame of mind for a book to 'work'! Not saying she's a great author by any stretch of the imagination though :)

Oh lordy NKF I was also about to say Labyrinth (HOW is that woman judging literary awards? HOW?)( and Da Vinci Code. Awful! sadly the worst book I ever read was written by someone I know (only reason I read it). But they've just self published and its loosely based around the Titanic so with the anniversary its getting huge coverage but its the most poorly written crap in the world. And they've given themselves possibly the most pompous pen name and god awful author pic. Its cringe worthy.

God I loved One Day. And We Need to Talk About Kevin.

But..Room - meh.
And The Help just SCREAMED WOMEN'S BOOK CLUB!!!! that I felt a little queasy reading it.