French Children Don't Throw Food

I mean I don't think it is too late, not Indent...

Sorry, very late to this thread, but just finished this book yesterday. I thought it was great and want to re read it with a highlighter and get DH to read it afterwards. I agree the bits about breastfeeding and losing weight whatever the cost are not for me, but I agreed with everything else she said. Indent think it is too late to adopt some of these things if your child is already 6, cheesesarnie.

I would be up for enforcing the one snack per day rule, but fear it would be very hard to do in this country where snacking is just so much part of our culture. Even at nursery, my DS (13 months) has mid morning snack, lunch at 11.15, mid afternoon snack and tea at 4.15. He eats everything he is given as well he takes after me the greedy bugger so I can't really say I don't want him to eat the snacks when all the other DCs are.

The thing I liked most about the book was the respect that is demonstrated for the DCs by expecting them to be aware of others and able to control their desires and frustrations.

I have found some geranium recipes to try

www.abouthyme.com/podcasts/geranium.shtml

no, he is the eldest. Although I must say I never fed him much junk either, no matter what else he refused to eat.

Rose Geranium sorbet is yummy.

i wanted to read this but after reading this thread it sounds like its more of a parenting book than fiction? so maybe not much use to someone whos youngest is 6?

Humphrey, is the fussy one the middle one and using food fads as a way of getting attention?
Geranium sorbet - wow, that would be interesting. ? like an aromatic elderflower one.

just with reference to the point that if you have a good attitude to food then your children will inevitably eat well, I would like to point out that in my house we are so obsessed with good food that we rear and butcher our own pigs, grow all our own veg and soft fruit, keep bees for the honey and make our own apple juice and perry. I even make fecking sorbet from geraniums.

I still have one fussy eater. It doesn't always follow.

This is one of the rare books that I actually intend to buy a copy of (after getting it from the library initially) because I agreed with more or less everything bar the French attitude to breastfeeding!

We seem to have done the French thing with sleeping, primarily because DS would be making little noises in his cot upstairs and DH and I, both knackered, would be sitting on the sofa praying we didn't have to go up there yet again... something worked anyway as DS started going for longer stretches at night from around 11 weeks :)

I really like the 'Bonjour/Au revoir' approach too - making adults respect children as people and vice versa seems like a laudable notion to me. Far too many adults appear to think that children don't need to be treated with any courtesy at all; it's one step away from bullying as far as I'm concerned and doesn't teach the kids to respect the adult much either.

I am fondly hoping that DS will be good about food - it's too early to tell right now as he's only 9.5mo!

My attempts to make the 'big eyes' and say No firmly are not going very well. DS just laughs at me :(

I'm half way through. So far a great book which points out imo that alot of the probs with British kids is their expectation of instant gratification whether that's in their parent's attention or a food (usually unhealthy) which they prefer or a need to be entertained.

There is so much information now on healthy eating I don't know how restaurants in the UK get away with offering kids' meals as they are invariably fried junk.

I have been a poor sleeper for years so am quite up on sleep cycles etc and can see that what she says in regard to getting babies to sleep through the night makes perfect sense.

Perhaps we in the UK read so much about the lack of sleep from bringing up baby that we expect it and the expectation is a cause.

I had already wondered if the constant stimulation of babies in this country (simply look at the numbers of dingly dangly jangly rattly garish baby toys there are to hang around baby's cot, seat, floor mat) was creating a rod for our own backs (or a toddler who can't sit quietly still) by causing a need for baby to be constantly amused.

My DCs are grown up and discussing having their own children. I would certainly encourage them to read this book.

Agree with KalSkirata too - I have never understood how people have time to make seperate food for their children. At 18 months my DS always eats with us and has a very broad and healthy diet. He has his favourites but that doesn't stop him eating everything else. I haven't managed to get him to stop throwing his spoon on the floor yet when he's finished though so will have to read the book for recommendations. My authoritative voice works for most things but not that.

In this country its expected children will only like fried beige food. This is weird.

KaiSkirata is absolutely right: children's menus with junk or boring food are a peculiarly British thing, probably reflecting common (but not universal) expectations about what children like or should eat. In France and Italy restaurants just offer half or quarter portions of what's on the menu and often make sure tables wih children don't have to wait for too long. End of story.

I think its spot on with regards to food. None of my french friends understood why we in this country have 'special' food for children or that children ate without parents. Apart from my autistic son, my kids ate what they were given. It was the same as we ate and if they didnt eat it they went hungry.
Having said that, ds at 16 has now turned into nightmare eater. At 16. Whats the french answer to that?

Have read he book a few weeks ago so recollections may not be fresh, but it was amusing and interesting. I am an Itallian living in London and wanted to see how Continental and Anglo-Saxon parenting differed, guessing (rightly) that my own style would be nearer the French than the British/American one.
The book digresses quite a lot about the author's life, which I found a bit boring and off-topic, but the observations and comparisons are very interesting.

I think the main difference is about example and expectations. The British parents we know (admittedly not many) and the British parenting books seem to expect children to be a pain, a bit like those pregnancy-prevention dolls given to teenagers to put them off babies. So a lot of the books/ parent chatter is about "coping" and restraining the little savages either physically (eg the swaddling mania) or mentally (strict routines, going to bed in the middle of the afternoon, so having to eat separately etc). The French and Italian approach is more that your family now has a new member, with different needs (e.g. Lots of cuddles, eating at 3am in the beginning). The family reshapes around the child and the child, as he grows up, takes his place, which includes learning to be part of the family. Being part of the family means eating the same food as the others at the same time as the others and interacting with them at the table.

Of course both existing family members and new ones have to adapt to one another, so for example we now have dinner at 7.30 rather than 9 because DS (2) would be too tired by then. But we offer him the same quality food and interaction as we offer one another: for example, even when he had to have baby food, I would not offer him anything I was not prepared to eat myself. If DH is not tired and wants to read, he does, so if DS one night is less tired and wants to read a bit longer, we read a bit longer, etc..

The French childcare provision is really good: when I read what is available as standard and compare it to what you can get in the UK (even privately), it really makes me wonder why people here put up with such shoddy provision (e.g. Making children bring sandwiches from home instead of having lunch).

I really enjoyed reading this thread and also love the idea of all the little children going out to eat with alibubbles! I think we tend to underestimate how capable our children are here in the UK and lots of dumbing down occurs as far as eating and dining goes. I found the book an interesting read and think that if you love cooking and enjoy the whole ritual of dining and sharing food as a family your children will naturally turn out the same whether or not you happen to be French or English.
The key to any eating problems is not to make a fuss and don't worry too much if a child hasn't eaten very much for a few days- they soon will when hungry! Despite my love of cooking and eating both my children went through a fussy stage, I think it is perfectly natural. I just took whatever I had prepared away and gave them bread and butter and a bit of fruit, no snacks or junk. Very soon they just came out of the fussy phase and are happy to have a taste of the meals I make, that's our rule, if it isn't liked then no problem try next time! The interesting thing is, they seem to like food they didn't before when tasting for the second time. My youngest is certainly not perfect and at times does refuse to eat something but then so do we as adults!
Getting back to the book- aside from the whole children and eating thing I found the life of a French woman, as portrayed by the author to be a little oppressive. The rush back to work, having someone else feed and look after your very small child and the pressure of having to look good all the time didn't feel right to me. If the women are happy then great, but I had my family because I wanted to bring them up and feed them. I get the fact that due to legal requirements maternity leave is probably different but are we not essentially much better off here and have many more options? Childcare is much better over in France apparently but you have to use it at such a young age, I loved my time off with the children and my job was still there for me when I chose to come back. I think the lifestyle suited the author and she was quite honest about how much is done for you as far as child rearing goes, I have read other reviews where people have stated they think she is biased but not at all in my opinion. Although her life wouldn't be for me I found it very interesting and I actually feel many British parents have similar methods to the French when bringing up their offspring. The one thing which I will say is according to the book, most French children are all well behaved etc is this not due to the fact that they are effectively brought up by an institution in their early years rather than their parents? Apparently some French kids get smacked quite a lot in public and it is acceptable to discipline this way, so perhaps not always that well behaved! Much like my daughter when out of the school routine. Great book though and I enjoy something which incites a bit of discussion. Working in a book shop I have sold lots of this to many different people so it obviously appeals!

I read the book and enjoyed it. I think the most interesting thing about it is the personal comparisons between the French, American and to a lesser extent British parenting styles.

We are trying to take a more French approach when it comes to food, not just with DS but for the whole family. Makes meal-time much more enjoyable for me especially as where we live eating out a couple of times a week is the norm.

Ooh - sorry - wrong thread - I have started an AIBU thread on the book and got a bit of a slating for some reason :(

Thank god - someone talking about the book :) yaay

Totally agree riding - it really made me feel better and more confident about what I was doing

(despite how some people have taken my OP, I am not smug and have decided the default emotion for parenting is guilt - this book made me feel better)

I say big up Pamela Druckerman! any depressed or struggling mother should read and absorb her words - empowering and friendly.

I've just read this and I loved it. DS is 15 weeks now and I wish I had read it before he was born as I think I would have handled his sleep / waking differently. He does sit nicely in restaurants though (smug).

It has got rid of my guilt about the fact I will be going back to work in 3 weeks and putting him in nursery and the fact that I combination feed. I love this book :)

I have read the book and I think she describes the typical French way of parenting quite accurately (though obviously there are many many exceptions). I was amused to see just how much of it I agreed with in that I have absorbed a lot of their parenting ideas without noticing, and seem to be bringing my daughter up that way.

I think the book is well worth a read, and has had some bad reviews from people who didn't read it properly.

That said I don't like the way the person writes, and I found her quite anti-French, which annoyed me.

Trix, I love it, as they are a pleasure to take out, though one of them prefers my food, she loves my homemade fish pie best. We have a new Japanese and noodle bar in the town, I can't wait to take the children next week!

Ali, I love the idea of you and your colleague taking small eight children out to lunch and demonstrating to all the others how children can behave!

I'm reading this book at the moment and am very impressed with it so far. Although I'm English I seem to share many of the French views identified in the book. I thought the bit about delayed gratification made lots of sense.

I may sound like a horrible mum (or a French one? ) but I do think that leaving a baby to cry is the best policy in terms of sleep issues. We did it with DC1 and she has been 'doing her nights' from around 8 weeks and very very rarely wakes in the night. However, we have steadily got softer on our DCs, I don't think DC4 has ever been left to cry for more than 2 minutes! He's now nearly three and wakes up at least once most nights... the results speak for themselves imo!