I feel physically sick at how much grandparents spending on Christmas

Simple fix when they open (or after they open) - oh wow, you love playing with that here, so great! You’ve got one for nanny’s house too! And give them all back for when they play at nanny’s - we did this and they miraculously disappeared! The family has grown too but now they have reduced to £150 each (beautiful, I know!) but we get tickets to annual passes! Fab!

I think things will naturally get better as your DCs get older. Gifts become more expensive, they have specific interests rather than the generic toddler / early years ‘tat’. Recycle, regift, sell the excess at the moment and know that there is an end to this as both children and grandparents move on from the phase.

The waste is sickening. There are loads of photos of the plastic mountains building up over the world. It's not a 'little treat' with zero cost to buy copious shitty nail varnish sets.

The worst thing about lots of 'bargain' things is that it's stuff you can buy yourself throughout the year if you actually wanted it and thought it worth buying. I have come to realise the best Christmas presents are things you wouldn't necessarily treat yourself to. I once got an expensive single beauty product that I wouldn't have bought myself and it was a far far better gift than the 10 cheap ones I could've bought for the same price.

Very frustrating, I think your Mum has the right idea. I know my teen loves getting money to treat herself.

A few more grandparents need to read these threads and get away from selfish overconsumption for their own gratification.

Absolutely makes sense :)
It's frustrating isn't it?....and then you're left with what to do with all the unwanted gifts argh.
I think that's why my mum gives money - she's not good with present buying so would rather give them cash so they can buy their own...and with 8 gdcs I can understand that it eases the pressure (plus she's elderly now and also not up on online shopping). ...but of course it's also lovely to open an actual gift. Your daughter and grandchild are very fortunate to have you:)

Thanks @EvieBBand @TwitchyNibbles, I had buy as much crap as the budget allows PIL and regularly watched the DC open black bags of things they didn’t want or need. Clothes that were never worn, endless nail care kits and cheap make up etc. It was such a waste and upsetting for the DC when they would have happily had one nice item at half the cost. It made us very determined to be different grandparents.

You sound absolutely lovely - this is what being generous means. Helping out with things are are actually meaningful/useful/enjoyed by your DC and DGC rather than spending an equivalent amount on piles of cheap tat that just gets in the way and will be largely unused.

Oh I'm so envious! My mum has 8 grandchildren so obviously can't afford that (not that it's expected either). But of course if I was a grandma and in your situation I'd do exactly the same :)

@EvieBBwe only have the one and through circumstances it looks like DGC will be our only one which makes more room in the budget.

We put a monthly standing order into his savings account, pay for swimming lessons, a day a week of nursery and have them a day to lighten the load. Always happy to go shopping with DD when it’s update the wardrobe time and help out there. Christmas and birthdays are like above, this years birthday was a swing and slide for the garden which I think DH has enjoyed more when we visit in all honesty 🙈.

Even when the gift giver is not doing it to make the recipient happy but to make themselves happy?

I’ve no skin in this game as my mum is the opposite, doesn’t buy things usually puts £20 or £30 in an envelope. Well I tell a lie she did this year for my birthday I got a bottle of wine I don’t drink and a very small packet of chocolate eggs. Because I like to torture myself I worked out it had cost her £9.50. I’m not her favourite child which is hard when you are the only child!!

Obviously I was effusive in my thanks. She’s the opposite to this mother in law, gets no pleasure at all in buying presents. Until recently I’d buy a present for her to my child but not any more, not covering up for the lack of thought any more.

My mum allocates the same amount to each of her grandchildren but she always asks what she can buy them. It was brilliant when they were younger (I have 3dc) because we asked for practical things like a playhouse for the garden or a trampoline etc, now they’re older and the dc have their own unique interests presents have included all sorts of things, a cricket helmet, a guitar amp, a digital camera, that sort of thing. Usually the money gets spent on one item, we would all prefer something that’s good quality over piles of things they don’t want but ‘looks’ more under the tree.
i really appreciate that she asks for ideas though because i wouldn’t like piles of stuff that they didn’t want or weren’t interested in.
mil spends about £100 on each, again always asks what they might like and together we come up with some ideas and it just works really well. Very grateful to both my mum and mil for being such reasonable people tbh, some of what people have shared is my worst nightmare.

That's very generous
My mum gives money instead for our children (that we save for their future)...as they get more than enough stuff to open from us (Although if course it's nice to open presents from grandparents)

My mums the same. The best you can hope for is the kids aren’t arsed for the toys and you can squirrel them away unused and donate - but then the waste is upsetting as is the admin of having to sort out donating toys you didn’t want or need. I don’t think it’s about whether you’re being ungrateful or not - it’s just hurtful that the gift giver isn’t actually thinking of you or what you would like (as that’s the point of a gift).

Could the dgp's be persuaded your DC would really love zoo/wildlife annual passes?

It's the Phoenix. It's totally their sense of humour!

I would think a large percentage of people who engage with Facebook are grandparent-age...

This thread is on the mumsnet Facebook page and the amount of people on there saying that this is ok is insane! I can’t think of any of my friends who would want a massive pile of plastic tat moving into their home at Christmas. Where do the grandparents think the extra storage space is coming from? Do they not realise, All of these presents are in addition to the gifts that the parents, other grandparents, any aunty’s/uncles and friends buy. such a waste of money and of the earths resources to spend so much when it isn’t wanted.

Well if she likes b and m 2 for £20 gifts you know what to get her for Christmas OP….
i guess your mum is a narc who’s love language is gifts and the performance of appearing to be generous without actually putting the work in to get you something you actually want/ need (as that wouldn’t satisfy her shopping/ gifting needs)? It’s really annoying when grandparents do this as they don’t have the deal with the consequences of the clutter/ tat/ toys breaking or your kids not playing with the toys you actually want them to play with or learn from.

The magic of Christmas was broken for me when I was 6 or 7. My great gran was around on Christmas Day and I was showing her everything the toy dog she had bought for me could do. She asked me who did i get it from and when I said "you" she looked confused. I now know she had dementia and most probably my parents had been the ones to buy it, wrap it up and write the label from her.
As an adult I'm so appreciative that they did this but to 7 year old this lovely thoughtful present turned into generic toy that will do.

We have never been a writing list to Father Christmas sort of family but there was a general Christmas is the time to get much wished for toys. That is the magic of Christmas, the feeling that another person has seen through you and found something that's just right for you and the hardest part of getting a lot of presents when they are a throw in the basket sort of thing it says that my joy of shopping is more important than your joy of receiving a present. My mum is a volume person and a little piece of me dies every Christmas that she buys me scented candles knowing full well that I can't have anything perfumed in the house as my face swells up due to allergies. I have to move her scented candles if she has them out when I visit her. I have grown weary of pointing it out, i pick a different battle (the insistency on giving me prawns for a starter which I am also allergic to) and quietly pass them on the my sister who also got a set but does actually enjoy using them.

The thing I have in my head when thinking of presents is something they would like to have but wouldn't buy themselves/ their parents wouldn't buy for them

Ask them to keep some of the toys at their house for when you visit. It’s a grandparents privilege to
spoil their grandchildren. They won’t be around forever & they want to delight them! So many children don’t even have any grandparents - or grandparents who bother with them! Suggest some days out with them but just let them enjoy your children in their own way :-)

But doesn’t that just create more work for a possibly already very busy OP? Selling loads of stuff takes time and it sounds like a lot of it might not be worth very much for the hassle to even be worth it?

Why on earth should OP be grateful for £250 worth of Temu and B&M plastic tat?