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Original poster

AIBU to feel alone?

2 replies

HelpINeedSomebodyHelpNotJust · 21/10/2026 19:43

I'm really struggling at the moment and a recent visit from my mum has highlighted to me how alone I am.

I'm parenting completely alone and my teen is severely depressed, which is of course extremely challenging and stressful to deal with (currently under psychiatrist care). My abusive ex is harassing me and I've just started court proceedings to stop him. I work to support myself and my kid. I have no family support or respite and my life is constantly in survival mode of keeping my child safe and doing everything I can to try and help and support him. Constantly chasing CAMHS, having school meetings, whist keeping my head above water at work and getting the bills paid as best I can.

My mum recently came to stay for a week (she lives in another European country) we aren't particularly close and speak a few times a year. This was her first visit in about 5 years, I usually go to visit her once a year. To be fair to her, she is in her mid seventies and maybe I'm expecting too much. I told her quite a bit about what's going on (I even cried at one point) and since she went back home a month ago I have not heard from her. Nothing to check in how her grandchild is doing or how my recent court hearing went.

She's been pretty much checked out since I was a young teenager so I don't know what I was expecting. I just sometimes wish I had a bit more support.

I asked her when she was here if it was stressful for her when I was a teenager and had struggles myself with school and mental health (not that she was ever actively involved or tried to do anything to support me). She simply said "why would that have been stressful for me?" I said "weren't you worried I wouldn't manage to finish school or do well in life?" She just shrugged. Is this a normal response from a parent? Am I unreasonable to feel like she doesn't really care about me?

I realise I'm focusing on the wrong thing right now as it's all about my daughter and there is no point dwelling on the past. I just have moments of feeling low and overwhelmed and this recent visit stirred up feelings of resentment I guess.

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 21/10/2026 21:28

Gosh I'm so sorry OP. No offence but your mum sounds awful and I know that's a hole nobody else can fill. I'm lonely too. The only support I have is my mum who is lovely (and I'm so grateful) but she works FT and is a carer for my brother so don't see her as often as I'd like to. Other than that it's just me and my two infant kids. I have complex MH issues and am really hard on myself, too, which makes it all much much worse.

I know people will suggest joining hobby groups etc, but when you're in a position like this, working endlessly and the taxing toll of supporting your own kids, you just simply do not always have the energy. If you want to join clubs then do! They can be great for finding a support network. For me, I feel too drained by the thought and see it as another thing to have to get through. Despite being lonely and wanting support, I also don't want to have to put effort into maintaining friendships when I don't have the emotional capacity to. Dealing with the inevitable fall out of that would just make things worse tenfold.

Sorry I feel like this was such a depressing comment and not helpful at all lol. Just wanted to show support and say I see you. I get it. It's really bloody hard

Original poster
HelpINeedSomebodyHelpNotJust · 21/10/2026 21:58

worldshottestmom · 21/10/2026 21:28

Gosh I'm so sorry OP. No offence but your mum sounds awful and I know that's a hole nobody else can fill. I'm lonely too. The only support I have is my mum who is lovely (and I'm so grateful) but she works FT and is a carer for my brother so don't see her as often as I'd like to. Other than that it's just me and my two infant kids. I have complex MH issues and am really hard on myself, too, which makes it all much much worse.

I know people will suggest joining hobby groups etc, but when you're in a position like this, working endlessly and the taxing toll of supporting your own kids, you just simply do not always have the energy. If you want to join clubs then do! They can be great for finding a support network. For me, I feel too drained by the thought and see it as another thing to have to get through. Despite being lonely and wanting support, I also don't want to have to put effort into maintaining friendships when I don't have the emotional capacity to. Dealing with the inevitable fall out of that would just make things worse tenfold.

Sorry I feel like this was such a depressing comment and not helpful at all lol. Just wanted to show support and say I see you. I get it. It's really bloody hard

Thank you so much for responding. I know what you mean about it being draining to try and find or maintain a support network. I'm really lucky that I have a couple of kind friends but it's rare I manage to see them as I can't leave my teen at the moment. Same with groups, I've had to drop everything. I am really lucky that I have friends that sometimes do text me which I'm so grateful for. But they have their own lives and problems of course so I don't want to burden them too much.

I just can't imagine when my kid is grown up that I could care this little about what's going on in their life and it's just highlighting to me how she's never really been there for me since I was a child really. I'm so glad to hear that you have a kind mum, even though it sounds like she has a lot on her plate too.

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