NC for this because I’m worried it’s outing.
My best friend of several years has had an affair. She’s told me and only me. I really feel quite a big burden as she’s not told anyone else and I truly feel awful holding this secret. Although I will. I won’t break her trust.
Our children both go to the same school and we spend a lot of time together, our girls regularly having play dates, we do dinner parties together, have had holidays together etc.
I know her husband well and would consider him a friend. He is a lovely guy and a great dad and father. My friend isn’t sure why she decided to sleep with someone else (multiple times). She can’t tell me why she felt the need to do it but we have talked about it at length and we both agreed she was feeling stressed about the pressures of work (she has a high powered job) and being a mum (she has 4 children under the age of 10h) ect.
The problem is she can’t stop it but doesn’t want to end her marriage. She still loves her husband and doesn’t want to leave him. She doesn’t love the other guy, it’s more just sex and the need to feel wanted and the excitement of it.
Ive told her it needs to stop, she will wreck her life. I told her if she doesn’t get a grip of this I will tell her husband (but I would actually never be able to do this).
I am finding it increasingly hard to socialise with them both because of what I know. However she’s my best friend, I love her dearly and I couldn’t betray her. I want to do what’s best for her.
How do I handle this?