Social services asking me to have son and girlfriend and baby living with me

Does the council have any plans on helping them get their own place?

I don’t see how this is sustainable for you or for them, really. They’re a family unit now, they need their own space instead of being shuffled back and forth between parents’ homes.

Have they been deemed suitable to care for the child? Seems to me the couple are being given into the shared care of their parents.

This is the only way the child will be left in their care.

It's still better than permanent separation from their family of origin, by a long long way.

I don't have a clue what they need, but if OP and the mother of the young woman have been asked to support them by having them live with them full time I'd be surprised if they are considered safe to parent without a very high level of support. Maybe they won't need that forever, nobody here knows, but at the worst end that's what would be needed

In all honesty the best thing for this child is to be adopted by a couple who have experience of children who have Sen has this child has a high probability of genetic linked autism etc. A child needs a permanent home not being shuffled between grandparents with parents who aren’t capable. The alternative is proper supportive housing, but that may not be suitable if the parents don’t have capacity to learn to live independently. Be honest with social services, would you (or jointly with the other grandmother) be willing to take full responsibility? If not adoption is the best route

Because their parents are being effectively asked to provide the equivalent of that.

This is an entire family being expected to pack up, move in its entirety every three days to a different household. A family where the parents have learning difficulties to add to the other challenges.

That is very different from a child moving between parents' permanent homes and even that is fraught with difficulties.

Its a dreadful start to life - even emergency accommodation doesn't move a baby or small child that frequently and prioritises children for longer term housing because it recognises the impacts on the child.

Will the baby have to go into care otherwise? If that was the case I’d agree to them staying with you. I couldn’t watch that happen.

Excellent - can the taxpayer leave them in peace then too?

Finding a residential placement for one young person is near impossible, finding a placement where a couple and a baby can go will not happen. Are there even any residential placements that offer this? If so it’s very few and it would probably mean them moving away from their family.

My dd has Autism and LD’s, she’s 20 years old, if anything like this was ever to happen I would probably have to support the baby myself as my dd would not be capable. It’s something that’s always been on my mind because these things do happen, of course I would hope it never happens.

OP, if you want to support your son then you should, if you don’t then make it very clear to SS that you won’t be supporting them in your home. Ask them what the long term plan is? Do they think your son and his GF are capable of independently raising a child? Are they planning on eventually them having their own home with people going into support? If they don’t feel they will ever be fully capable of raising the child then what options are there?
Don’t let your DP dictate what will happen, this child will be your grandchild but there’s a possibility you could end up raising it.

By learning difficulties what do you mean exactly?

Would your son and gf be safe to be left alone with a baby that won't stop crying?

Would they be able to measure formula and prepare it safely?

Can they risk assessment to some extent, e.g. don't leave baby on edge of bed , he could roll off?

If the answer is no to any of those then you are becoming a carer for three people, not a helper for one baby.

Does either parent work and could afford to live independently, in the future?

In your situation I would take in the baby but not the adults I'm afraid.

You can't make anyone have an implant or an abortion even if they have learning disabilities. My ND child makes bad decision after bad decision, it's incredibly challenging to live with.

Why do you think they need full time residential care??

Yes, a sizeable chunk of the welfare bill lines the pockets of such people (and the hedge funds involved) - providing "supported" living with no support, children's homes which are nothing of the sort and poor quality elder care.

That is without even considering the straight fraud in such establishments.

There is plenty of room for getting better value for taxes in that space.

They are a short term assessment tool only. What's the exit plan?

But does she live with her mother already? If so, is her mother then essentially saying that she is kicking her daughter out half the week?

Are social services involved because your son and his girlfriend won't actually be able to fully care for this baby without supervision & help? If so, it's a much bigger undertaking than just living in the house... its basically being another parent for half the week. O wouldn't be up for it if I were in your position.

Social Services are absolutely responsible for housing two young adults with Learning disabilities, who are parents. Who SS themselves have deemed suitable to care for that child. Where on earth do you live?

It's far far far better for a child to grow up within their family of origin even over two households than for a child to be removed and adopted or placed in long term foster care. Children cope with dual households every day!

I would ask social services about a mother and baby unit. If you agree to half the week where is the other half to be spent? If that breaks down would you be expected to accommodate the full week? Mother and baby units are a good tool in cases like this. Dont be bullied into something not workable

Her own mother is kicking her out for half of the week. That is a very odd arrangement. Is she suggesting that she will house your son for half the week too?

Long term supported residential care for parents with learning disabilities so they can keep their children in their care? Really??
Are you sure it's not supported accommodation for the adults to meet the adults' needs? Because I have never ever come across any local authority providing this kind of service from a children's social work services perspective.

As much as l agree that the situation isn’t great, you can’t force contraception or abortion on someone with capacity. Learning disability doesn’t mean they lack the capacity to make their own decisions.

Its in no child's interest to grow up in a family which has to pack up and move every three days. The only agenda pushing that as a solution is based on cost cutting, not the interests of the child.

Have you not read the threads where hospitals and SS dump elderly relatives on doorsteps without warning to pressure family into taking on a level of care they are neither equipped for or financially able to manage?

In an ideal world we would be able to provide support to families caring for those (of all ages) who need it. In reality the moment a family hint at support, any form of expert or structured help disappears.

Eh? They do. Certainly in my LA they do.

I’m a disabled person and was also a disability outreach worker and l don’t think this is ableist in the least. If two people with learning disabilities require 24/7 support to be able to cope with a baby then there are inevitably going to be ongoing issues with their limitations, which will impact their child. It’s not a matter of being hurtful - no-one would be intentionally that, l would hope, but it is a matter of practicality. And reality.