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Fed up of being asked if I'm pregnant

12 replies

Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 16:48

Just a little moan because I'm feeling fed up. Why do some women think it's ok to ask a woman if she is pregnant? Or even congratulate them without even knowing they definitely are? It's happened to me three times now, all by different women and none of the times have I been pregnant making it very awkward and resulting in me feeling like shit and wondering if I look huge. These women were all colleagues or clients at work so it's not even family or friends. I would never ask someone if they were pregnant, especially someone I barely know. Why do people think it's ok to do that?!

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Releasemeplease · Yesterday 18:48

When I was a lot younger and my DS was a toddler I had a lovely floaty summer dress. I only wore it twice because I felt the style of it - an Empire waist - emphasised my tummy and made me look pregnant. Nobody said anything but I could see my upstairs neighbour, who we didn't get on with, eying me speculatively. So I ditched the dress because it made me self conscious.

I think the people who asked you if you were pregnant were incredibly rude OP. I don't understand people who comment on others appearance unless it's something complimentary like " you look really nice". Even then it can be interpreted as a back handed compliment because the implication is you don't normally!

DoYouWantHalfThisSandwich · Yesterday 18:23

I hear you OP! I’ve had this, & I’ve not had any children! To be fair to those asking me, I did have a perfect looking bump for someone 4/5 months pregnant, & all were suitably embarrassed & apologetic when I said I wasn’t. I hadn’t really noticed until I was asked, & it did turn out that I had a very rare complication of my autoimmune disease (That needed dealing with ASAP). My advice, if you are concerned, make a GP appointment & get it checked out 💐

Original poster
Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 18:18

I've also been thinking they just wanted to check I wasn't pregnant as I'm just starting a big project at work that will last the next 18 months and they don't want me to leave in the middle of it?

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Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 18:14

@QPZM maybe I look pregnant? I'm self conscious about my belly but I'm not exactly huge, I'm a size 12! Or I was ill the other week in the morning and had to go home so maybe this woman assumed it was morning sickness? And last summer another time it happened I'd been off work ill for a couple of weeks so people perhaps thought it was pregnancy related? Who knows! But why assume?! Not every woman with a slight belly who is ill occasionally is pregnant!!! And even if I was pregnant and was showing, I might not have announced it yet or wanted people to know.

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AvengingAngle · Yesterday 18:10

A question you should never ever ask, even if you think it 'looks obvious'.

There are various medical conditions associated with someone's tummy assuming the shape of a bump, and it could be a very sensitive issue.

QPZM · Yesterday 18:04

Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 18:00

@Roosthename yes today. I felt so awkward I just said no I'm not and end the conversation quickly as possible. But now it's going round in my head what made her think that. It's hard when I'm trying to be professional and do my job properly and instead all I'm thinking about is if I have a massive belly and replaying the conversation again and again. Luckily I'm not actively trying for a baby right now or I would have probably burst into tears.

But now it's going round in my head what made her think that.

What's your guess?

Original poster
Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 18:03

@OhBettyCalmDown yes, last summer when it happened I had been wearing lots of floaty maxi dresses to work during the heatwaves. Never wore them again because now I think I must look pregnant in them 😔 they were lovely dresses too.

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Original poster
Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 18:00

@Roosthename yes today. I felt so awkward I just said no I'm not and end the conversation quickly as possible. But now it's going round in my head what made her think that. It's hard when I'm trying to be professional and do my job properly and instead all I'm thinking about is if I have a massive belly and replaying the conversation again and again. Luckily I'm not actively trying for a baby right now or I would have probably burst into tears.

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OhBettyCalmDown · Yesterday 17:42

It’s happened to me too OP. I ended up binning one of my favourite dresses after the 3rd occasion. It’s such a stupid question to ask people that you don’t know.

Roosthename · Yesterday 17:39

Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 17:27

@Roosthename over a few years! So not close together but still! I shouldn't be asked it at all.

Presumably the latest one very recent?

Original poster
Dinosaurwaffle · Yesterday 17:27

@Roosthename over a few years! So not close together but still! I shouldn't be asked it at all.

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Roosthename · Yesterday 16:53

3x in what time period?

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