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Husband not happy with me working from home undertaking calls.

280 replies

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:42

Hi all so my job role involves some court hearing. When I work from home and need to attend a hearing I usually do into the kitchen as there is a plain background rather then in the rest of the house with signs of family life behind. Now this morning I said to my husband I’ve got a hearing, not sure how long so avoid the kitchen while door is closed. About an hour into it just as I am speaking he comes into the room. He can hear me talking. If that was me I would think ok I’ll hang on a minute until she finishes. Instead he come in and starts making a drink! I’m indicating to him to leave the room. 10 minutes later there is a short break. I call to him to say come and make your drink I’ve got a 10 minutes break. I said to him he could see j was talking he could have just waited a short time. He says it’s his home and kitchen he should be able to make a drink when he wants. I can go somewhere else in the house and I shouldn’t be working at home performing sanatic rituals! And that I’m being horrible. I don’t even work from home. Yes my contract isn’t home based but it is easier at times, saves travel etc.

am I being unreasonable? Or is he? It’s only an hour or so. Yes I could could to an office at work but it means booking a room which isn’t available. He also works from home upstairs in the spare room, I never go in the room when he is working let alone if he was on an important call.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 24/09/2026 12:00

Either pin up a sheet on the wall behind you in another room or buy a green screen from Amazon (other colours available).

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:59

arethereanyleftatall · 24/09/2026 11:58

Why does he get the proper study but you don’t?

Because he is the main earner and makes that known.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 24/09/2026 11:58

Why does he get the proper study but you don’t?

DeftGoldHedgehog · 24/09/2026 11:58

Personally I wouldn't do a hearing somewhere like a kitchen, and my WFH desk is in the kitchen. I would do it at work and if you can't book a room then you need to raise this at work.

MyNameIsTina · 24/09/2026 11:56

I put that YABU because working from home shouldn't impact everyone else in the house. The solution going forwards is to set up in a room your husband won't need to use and have a screen for behind you like others have mentioned.
Your husband is unreasonable too though - courts are satanic?!

GoldMerchant · 24/09/2026 11:56

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:48

One a month if that for an hour or so.
He’s got a thing about the courts being linked to stone masons etc.

Your bigger problem is that your DH is a conspiracy theory lunatic.

But no, it's not unreasonable for him to avoid the kitchen for an hour or so mid morning.

I would suggest that if he's likely to want the kitchen, he can work down there and you take the office. I imagine he won't agree to that.

DanaScullysLegoHair · 24/09/2026 11:56

If he can't accommodate this for an hour or so a month then there is something wrong here. It's not you, OP.

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/09/2026 11:55

I think it depends how regularly this is happening. Once in a blue moon, husband should help you out. Otherwise, you should go into the office on court days.

MotherofPufflings · 24/09/2026 11:55

I changed my vote when I realised that you can't blur your background and your husband is being an absolute dick. The issue at heart is that he doesn't respect you and that's not something in your control, so you're going to have to find a location that he can't sabotage.

SquigglePigs · 24/09/2026 11:55

Ok, I had voted YABU because being in the kitchen is a pain but based on your follow-up posts YANBU at all.

He's making it impossible for you to work anywhere in the house without him interrupting.

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:55

honeylulu · 24/09/2026 11:54

I wondered if you were posting from another point of view and it's actually your husband who hogs the kitchen and shuts you out.

No this is a genuine post

OP posts:
honeylulu · 24/09/2026 11:54

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:52

I don’t know what you mean, is this a reverse?

I wondered if you were posting from another point of view and it's actually your husband who hogs the kitchen and shuts you out.

ByTipsyShark · 24/09/2026 11:54

Can you not share the spare room/his office set up? So when you have court hearings you use that space for an hour or so and he can sit in the kitchen? My husband works in our open plan space and I have the spare room as my office but we just swap over if he has an important pitch.

Octavia64 · 24/09/2026 11:54

Kitchen is an incredibly inconvenient place to work from home.

i wouldn’t be ok with this

roseymoira · 24/09/2026 11:54

If it’s once a month can’t you use the spare room he usually wfh in? Surely he can take his laptop anywhere

honeylulu · 24/09/2026 11:53

Well if he works from home then you can too (just not in the kitchen).

I missed his satanic rituals comment. That's ridiculous conspiracy theorist bollocks. I expect he doesn't stretch as far as rejecting the income you earn from it!

RVectensian · 24/09/2026 11:53

honeylulu · 24/09/2026 11:49

You need to work in a non communal room and put a background on. Shutting household members out of the kitchen is completely unreasonable. It's also unprofessional to be discussing legal/confidential information with someone wandering within earshot.

Is this a reverse?

Agreed!

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:52

honeylulu · 24/09/2026 11:49

You need to work in a non communal room and put a background on. Shutting household members out of the kitchen is completely unreasonable. It's also unprofessional to be discussing legal/confidential information with someone wandering within earshot.

Is this a reverse?

I don’t know what you mean, is this a reverse?

OP posts:
ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:50

Motnight · 24/09/2026 11:49

What's his suggestion about resolving this?

I go to the office but it’s not always possible to book a room. He says it’s my work’s problem not his. I think I will just need to do this moving forward.

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 24/09/2026 11:49

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:47

The platform I was using this morning doesn’t allow filters.

I’d consider buying a screen you can place behind you in that case.

Your DH is being an arsehole.

honeylulu · 24/09/2026 11:49

You need to work in a non communal room and put a background on. Shutting household members out of the kitchen is completely unreasonable. It's also unprofessional to be discussing legal/confidential information with someone wandering within earshot.

Is this a reverse?

Motnight · 24/09/2026 11:49

What's his suggestion about resolving this?

pinkyredrose · 24/09/2026 11:48

Just hang a sheet up in another room and work in front of that.

Your husband sounds rather a douche though, went the fuck is he mentioning satanic rituals?

ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:48

MickyMoonshine · 24/09/2026 11:43

Satanic rituals?
How often is the kitchen out of bounds?

One a month if that for an hour or so.
He’s got a thing about the courts being linked to stone masons etc.

OP posts:
ThisTealWarrior · 24/09/2026 11:47

AgnesMcDoo · 24/09/2026 11:43

Can you not blur your background?

if you are both wfh then you need ground rules

The platform I was using this morning doesn’t allow filters.

OP posts: