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anyone good with witty responses?

59 replies

winkslot · 22/09/2026 14:05

i have a disability that becomes obvious when you meet me. i don't really think about myself as a disabled person and i do everything everyone else does. It's something parallel to missing an arm but I am not missing any limbs, just a similar example. People are often curious and have questions.

I am a professional and am happy with any questions about it but i struggle with how to respond to well meaning but patronising comments.

"Good on you, never feel like you shouldn't be in the room. Keep showing up."
"You don't have to worry about that (being discriminated against?) at all, none of us here are judging you in any way"
"awww that's such a shame isn't it"
"Our team has just had diversity and inclusion training, so you're very welcome here"

i feel so normal that these comments really other me and are disempowering. I don't feel sad or insecure about my condition at all. But hate these sorts of comments.

I'm not looking to call them out or shame them. i am looking for some clever and witty responses that don't make the other person feel bad but also shut down the sympathy or hero responses.

OP posts:
excelledyourself · 22/09/2026 17:28

“I’m sure you mean well, but I don’t need any reassurance”.

HesterLeggatt · 22/09/2026 14:41

I’d go with staring at them blankly, glancing down at your wrist and then screaming “OH MY GOD WHERE DID MY ARM GO?!”. They’ll leave you alone after that….. 🤣

When people ask me about DS’s disability the two we get all the time are “wow he doesn’t LOOK disabled”, and “what’s wrong with him?”. I used to grit my teeth and be polite, but mostly now I go with “what is a disabled person supposed to look like, exactly?” and “nothing’s WRONG with him, his brain just works differently to other people”.

winkslot · 22/09/2026 14:34

i do like the casual "great" and then move on. But alot of times, i am pulled aside for these comments. So there's no moving on to new spreadsheets. Like i'm filling my waterbottle for example.

I had someone this week give me a pep talk about how someone similar has no confidence to even come to work and that i am doing amazing, so inspiring, and never doubt myself. URGH. But i just smiled and said i'm quite happy being in any room and it doesn't phase me.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 22/09/2026 14:33

"I'd rather focus on the job at hand, not on any perceptions around my disability."

WhatNextImScared · 22/09/2026 14:32

squashyhat · 22/09/2026 14:11

In order
"OK then"
"Erm...thanks (I think)"
"If you say so"
"Jolly good"

I couldn't be bothered with witty. Just shut them down.

’Ok, then’ is the best: it’s not directly rude, but it’s also not warm. Shuts them down and gives them something to think about.

wannabeCali · 22/09/2026 14:29

You could ask them to explain themselves
what do you mean?
Can you explain please?

humptydumptyfelloff · 22/09/2026 14:27

I would just look at them blankly and then ask if they meant to be patronising or rude 🤣

tarheelbaby · 22/09/2026 14:14

I agree with @squashyhat , just answer them blandly and actively move on to the task at hand.
'Umm, thanks. (give a little smile) Let's look at the spreadsheets now.'

squashyhat · 22/09/2026 14:11

In order
"OK then"
"Erm...thanks (I think)"
"If you say so"
"Jolly good"

I couldn't be bothered with witty. Just shut them down.

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