Feeling sad about having to leave after a decade

Stopscrollingplease · 2026-09-22T10:54:29+00:00

I just feel sad it has hit me. I have been managed out from somewhere I have worked for a decade - never worked anywhere else. Leaving behind a solid financial package and navigating a tough job market, looking at roles paying half what I earned as a Mum of 2 with health conditions. My part time set up is like trying to find a unicorn. The worst (or best?) thing is I have been signed off sick for 2 weeks so I won't even be present to leave. Feels shameful even though I haven't done anything wrong.

SummerHolsFinished · 22/09/2026 15:56

How have you been managed out? Redundancy?

Dandeloosha · 22/09/2026 15:56

Why were you managed out?

topcat2014 · 22/09/2026 15:58

I've heard directors use that phrase. Kind of an instruction to get rid via whatever route. I lost a job on a PIP last year. It's vile and a real dent to self esteem. Best of luck OP

Original poster

Stopscrollingplease · 24/09/2026 11:47

I have done nothing wrong been told my work is great and the way I conduct myself is great but was told PIP or leave. My organisation is doing this to several people at the moment.

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Original poster

Stopscrollingplease · 24/09/2026 11:48

topcat2014 · 22/09/2026 15:58

I've heard directors use that phrase. Kind of an instruction to get rid via whatever route. I lost a job on a PIP last year. It's vile and a real dent to self esteem. Best of luck OP

Thank you so much. How are you doing now?

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topcat2014 · 25/09/2026 15:08

Stopscrollingplease · 24/09/2026 11:48

Thank you so much. How are you doing now?

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New job is lower level but less stress. I work well, but will never again worry about someone else's business succeeding or failing..

Onzemove · 25/09/2026 15:11

Usually see PIP as referring to benefits. Is PIP used in this context meaning personal improvement plan or something?

Lexy2345 · 25/09/2026 15:17

Why did you opt to leave rather than work with the PIP?

Friendlygingercat · 25/09/2026 15:22

I would have worked with the PIP and documented everything Or bargained with them for a decent settlement and a non discriminatory reference.on the threat of going to a tribunal. But then I am a bloody minded bitch.

sherbetlemonade · 25/09/2026 15:45

Stopscrollingplease · 24/09/2026 11:47

I have done nothing wrong been told my work is great and the way I conduct myself is great but was told PIP or leave. My organisation is doing this to several people at the moment.

So what would the PIP have been for? If there had been no previous concerns over the last ten years, they should have been able to tell you why it was necessary now. Do you have anything in writing where they gave you those two options?

MeridaBrave · 25/09/2026 15:45

I left a job after 17 years. After a restructure the function was moved to another city. Not sure I’ll ever really get over it.

AlwaysExtraHot · 25/09/2026 15:46

sherbetlemonade · 25/09/2026 15:45

So what would the PIP have been for? If there had been no previous concerns over the last ten years, they should have been able to tell you why it was necessary now. Do you have anything in writing where they gave you those two options?

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Yes, these are my questions too. How can you be on a PIP if there were no concerns about your performance?

lookatmylife · 25/09/2026 15:54

Stopscrollingplease · 24/09/2026 11:47

I have done nothing wrong been told my work is great and the way I conduct myself is great but was told PIP or leave. My organisation is doing this to several people at the moment.

Don’t resign! Let them do the PIP. What is it based on? Performance or sickness levels?

IStillHearTheWaves · 25/09/2026 15:55

I think it's compeltely understandable that you feel that way, OP. That sounds like a really difficult set of circumstances and leaving anything is always that much harder when it's not your choice to move on.

Wishing you lots of luck and hopefully this forced move will end up bringing you good things that you would have missed out on, otherwise.

topcat2014 · 25/09/2026 16:17

Let them do the pip! Don't just resign and collect your one month notice.

This is the worst time of year to find a job (as businesses don't make big decisions in the run up to Christmas)

This way you will at least get more salary.

Original poster

Stopscrollingplease · Yesterday 22:17

Friendlygingercat · 25/09/2026 15:22

I would have worked with the PIP and documented everything Or bargained with them for a decent settlement and a non discriminatory reference.on the threat of going to a tribunal. But then I am a bloody minded bitch.

This is what I am doing but it is nothing compared to the ongoing security of the role but I guess I will need to switch my mindset!

OP posts:

Original poster

Stopscrollingplease · Yesterday 22:19

topcat2014 · 25/09/2026 15:08

New job is lower level but less stress. I work well, but will never again worry about someone else's business succeeding or failing..

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I am glad to hear. Given the job market i may need to take something that pays alot less so I just need to come around to that and adjust.

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Original poster

Stopscrollingplease · Yesterday 22:19

IStillHearTheWaves · 25/09/2026 15:55

I think it's compeltely understandable that you feel that way, OP. That sounds like a really difficult set of circumstances and leaving anything is always that much harder when it's not your choice to move on.

Wishing you lots of luck and hopefully this forced move will end up bringing you good things that you would have missed out on, otherwise.

Thank you so much - appreciate your words.

OP posts:

Original poster

Stopscrollingplease · Yesterday 22:23

sherbetlemonade · 25/09/2026 15:45

So what would the PIP have been for? If there had been no previous concerns over the last ten years, they should have been able to tell you why it was necessary now. Do you have anything in writing where they gave you those two options?

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This is exactly what I was arguing but I never got an answer. It looks like they are getting rid of hundreds at least in various ways so I knew I didn't have a chance.

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Gabbycat245 · Today 00:10

If they're getting rid of hundreds via redundancy, they should be collectively consulting. Sounds like they're using the threat of a capability dismissal to get around the collective consultation rules. I hope you have an employment lawyer!

Besidemyselfwithworry · Today 00:17

Stopscrollingplease · Yesterday 22:17

This is what I am doing but it is nothing compared to the ongoing security of the role but I guess I will need to switch my mindset!

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I think you should call ACAS on Monday morning to get some advice relating to constructive dismissal

BibbityBoppityTwo · Today 00:22

You poor thing, this would be a real knock. No wise words, but just wanted to say I really feel for you and hope that one way or another things improve for you 💐

TeenLifeMum · Today 00:31

I’ve seen this happen and it’s so unfair, but don’t let their poor behaviour define you or your future. Hold your head high and see where life takes you next. It never feels like it at the time (I was made redundant 2 months after returning from maternity leave) but it leads you in new directions you would never have explored when you were in your safe job. It’s these things that make life more interesting. Onwards to new things!