How can I prepare my clingy toddler for our wedding day?

I would start looking for a babysitter now and get them used to them for 6 months - a really good babysitter who he’s got a good relationship with will be able to help hugely and take him outside during key parts and then take him home at bedtime. I think this is your only option!

He might have mellowed out in six months. That’s a long time in toddler development.

but in the meantime- get him involved in a range of different social situations. Lunches out with family, places where lots of people are moving around etc doing different things. Different faces, different people. I know the main problem is cling to you but it will all help build confidence when he can’t have immediate access to you.

if you can, get him in used to a babysitter. Fill up a bag of toys/activities/books/snacks for the day and have the babysitter/nanny be the only distributor of this. A breakout room will help too. She won’t be a stranger of you lay the groundwork first.

Either get him used to a babysitter

or start really building the relationship with family so that grandparents etc can have him on a rota.

He will not remember or miss the day at all. He’s two.

You have six months to find a baby sitter he is happy with and get him used to being on his own for a long time with the baby sitter. It’s not worth ruining an entire wedding over this.

Ideally he will be at home. Kids will often cry initially when the parent leaves then settle down immediately.

I think you are projecting a lot of your own emotions onto the kid - that’s entirely understandable. It absolutely would not be the end of world for him!

Does he go to nursery? If there's a key worker there he likes they may well be up for earning some ££ at your wedding...

what about his grandmother?

There is wedding nannies , could ypu start looking into something like that. ? Fwiw we got married when Dd was the same age and at thatstage but on the day of the wedding she stuck to my Sister in Law like glue, she adored her and Sil didn't mind, so your son might clock someone he likes better 😀we had a friend from nursery Dd knew who had her overnight they picked her up.

Ah i didn't read on you say you don't fancy a wedding babysitter which is a shame you don't trust anybody , because I don't think you can prepare him but he will be 6 months older so he might be not as clingy.

I agree that it would be good to have a babysitter / childminder etc or if you want them to be present at the ceremony you will need to allocate someone specific who has a strong bond with him to look after him during the ceremony and have him sat on their knee. (grandparent / aunt /uncle). You can explain to him nearer the time that he will be staying with this person to watch the wedding.

It is a weird situation for a little one to see their mum and dad looking quite different to normal (I assume!) and not being allowed to go to them.

My SIL had to carry her toddler down the aisle and then an uncle took him out of the room for the rest of the ceremony because he was upset. Obviously that meant uncle missing the ceremony and it was upsetting for SIL that toddler was upset and being taken away.

I do agree though that he will be very different in 6 months

6 months is an absolute lifetime in toddler behaviour, how he is now won't be at all how he is in March next year...

I’m guessing she wants her child there ! Yes OP get a babysitter who can accompany you to the wedding with perhaps a breakout room where he can play with all his toys. Are there any other children going ?

Would highly recommend a nanny/babysitter .
Everyone at the wedding will just be wanting to enjoy it.
Ad much as other family members love the wee ones it can also be difficult to keep track of them .
He really needs one person who is concentrating on him and not involved in the wedding.

I dont know why having family and friends help out with caring for him will mean they cant enjoy the wedding too? They can share the load, you’ll want him some of the time anyway? He will enjoy spending time with the wider family members wont he? Plenty of toys on hand to distract etc.

I’d actually find a babysitter and plan for him not to be at the wedding. He’s not going to remember any of it and you’re not going to enjoy it if you’re worrying about when he’s going to scream. He may change in 6 months, in which case he can go. He may not, so he can stay with the babysitter.

I got married before I had a child and then I absolutely would have said plan not to have him there. But I can’t imagine saying that now. I absolutely would 💯 want my son to be part of the day, the pictures, the memories, interaction with older relatives, no matter what his age at the time, and I’d do everything I could to make him comfortable enough for that to happen!

Ive worked as a wedding nanny too, (since Ive had my own) kids have been shy on occasion but I e always managed it so everyone can enjoy the day.

I hung out with my friends toddler for her wedding. I was in charge of nappy changes, naps, supervision, etc. it helped that I was familiar as I saw them weekly

Does he have to be there? Find a good babysitter and reduce the angst.

I would take him to as many weddings as possible in the next six months. You've missed the summer peak but look in your local churches for when weddings are happening. They can't stop you attending. Aim for one a week until he can sit through it.