What to do on an anniversary of death?

Well, I go to Mass. It gives me a bit of time for quiet reflection in company with other people who may or may not be there for the same reason - it’s something about shared purpose iyswim. Sometimes, the reading of the day will have a line in it that really speaks to me, sometimes not. I can just sit quietly at the back.

In the early years I found it awkward trying to to anything to mark the date. I've gradually been adding bulbs and other plants that will be in flower on the day to the garden. I make sure I have time off to do a bike ride or a walk somewhere special. Nothing more formal. I just try to leave space in the day for the memories and the grief for the person I never got to know.

It will be 2 years soon since ds died by suicide. I'm at the hairdressers ( normal 5 week appointment) and then dh and I will go into the countryside for a walk.
The first one was truly awful as I felt physically ill. ( but wasn't...just grief)
We have a bush in the garden for him.
I am still very angry and bitter. I dont think that will ever go away.
Whatever you choose to do make sure you look after yourself.

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss @incognito1991 .
I would do something calm and quiet in nature. Visit a garden or a National Trust place with a garden. Be with trees and plants and then a quiet lunch somewhere.

If you're not familiar with visitable gardens and this appeals to you, if you give some idea where you are I might be able to suggest somewhere. Don't if you don't want to obviously.
Or if you're close to the sea I'd go to the sea. I find watching waves very healing.
Sending a hug. 🌹

Im so sorry.

Would you like to create a memorial? Maybe plant something in your garden?

I know it's very different for you OP, and many, many years ago I lost my 3 week old son so I do have an understanding of how you must be feeling, but on the anniversary of my DH's death my adult son and I usually go for a walk together. Just a quiet walk in a picturesque and peaceful place. My DH doesn't have a grave either. Just time together to share closeness in a peaceful place is very helpful in our experience.
I'm so sorry about your loss.