How did you sensitive young mums navigate this? There seems to be two groups of school mums, one group mogs me with their lifestyle the other group are very difficult to talk to?

It is normal. But as a woman in her 50s, I would like to put this on a tshirt" No one is thinking about you". Because they aren't.

I‘d focus on trying to chat with the parents of the children your DDs play with rather than a particular group.

You also really need to change the way you think about these people. They aren’t mogging you or judging you, they’re just living their own lives. Someone buying a particular car doesn’t mean they think anything about your lack of one. It’s good that you’re recognising it’s paranoia but you need to challenge those thoughts when you have them.

Can you afford to take up any hobbies? It would be easier to make friends with people you share an interest with.

Just read the other replies. I think it’s quite normal to overthink, compare yourself to others and feel insecure when you’re in your 20s OP, whether you’re a mum or not.

You need to get over this fear of being judged. There's nothing at all wrong with you but your post suggests you think people with money are better than people without.

Maybe they wouldn't become friends with you becayse there's no common ground - is there? What's interesting about you? What are you passionate about? What do you want to do with your life?

I have a good career and am financially comfortable and am friends with everything from doctors to shop workers to people on benefits through mutual hobbies and my interest in history. I am autistic and struggle to fein interest in someone but there are interesting people in all walks of life.

So are you mid 20s? It’s probably less to do with the lifestyles and more to do with age. The older mums would have been the same in their 20s. They also probably think less about what other people will think of them like you are, and your peers are - all the little things being a big deal as you say. When you say you get the impression that they don’t want to get to know you, that’s probably true but not in an unkind or looking down on you way, they might just not thinking about it and if they’ve already got friends they won’t give the vibe. Newcomers to the area will be looking to get to know people no matter the age. People will naturally gel with people they have stuff in common with, like uni experience and office chat. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get on and value each other, just takes a bit more action. If you like the people, invite them for a play date. What do you do when you go to birthdays?

As you said, you are being excessively paranoid and self- absorbed. No one's thinking about you. They have their own issues.

Honestly I think you just be polite to everyone but look for friendships elsewhere rather than at the school gates. The only thing you have in common with school mum’s really is that you have children the same age and that isn’t a great basis for a true and genuine friendship. There are the exceptions, mums you actually do have a lot in common with who also happen to have kids the same age, but that’s not going to be everyone at the school gate.

I don't know why you would be friends with people just because your children attend the same school? Maybe you'd know them a bit and maybe you've dropped your kid at their house and vice versa a few times.

But apart from that I'd just assume that they have their own friends and I have mine. That are to do with my own interests or experiences, not just the geographical location of a place my children go to.

Just concentrate on people you like and stop putting people into boxes. If it’s all too much I’d look for friends outside of the school.

I would focus on making friends with the people you actually like and try to avoid projecting your insecurities onto them. Unless the richer group have given you some reason to think that they don't want to know you, then I would pay them the compliment of assuming that they aren't so shallow that they would base their friendships on material things.

I handle this by being pleasant and surface friendly to all of the class parents, but not relying on them or expecting them to become friends. Over time, one of the other mums actually became a friend and our DC were friends too. We would have been friends even if we did not have children in common! Look elsewhere to make friends.