AIBU to feel embarrassed after no replies in the class WhatsApp group?

I think there can be a slight awkwardness from people who can’t go to wonder whether they should reply and say they can’t (or just leave it, because they can’t). I tend to reply because I imagine the person sending the message would appreciate an acknowledgment but I think people often like to keep their heads down.

I put something on a class group once - it was something like has anyone got a spare copy of a certain book or something - nobody replied but when l got to school, loads of people came up to me and said oh here's the book so they jist didn't reply in the group.

Leave the message and act totally cool, like you are doing them a favour by suggesting a coffee together! Well done, introvert, for getting out of your shell - I wish I had the courage to do it years ago. I am better now, but understand it is a massive thing for you to post it! Don't delete!

Exactly. People's manners are appalling now.

Aw you have to style it out now, deleting will be worse. I think that was really brave and sorry no one replied. I seem to have a knack of killing conversation on groups and Mumsnet threads

If it was me I’d try not to overthink it, you did a good thing putting yourself out there. And not recommending this but I’d probably think “sod you then” and vow not to be very active on the group

Me too. I'd probably suggest a meet up at the park with kids, less pressure.

In my experience before you doa public broadcast like this, it’s best to have arranged to do it with one other person so you can say ‘Susie and I are going for coffee after drop of at blah blah cafe. You’re welcome to join us’. I learnt this the hard way.

Love this!

Big hugs!

So then they can take a few seconds to say what a lovely idea, but they can't make it unfortunately as they have to get to work, or something like that! It doesn't take much effort.

If it's any reassurance to you, in the WhatsApp groups /situations where I have done similar, the people that replied didn't reply in the group straight away. They replied one on one or later.

No-one is looking at your message thinking ha what a loser. They are either presuming people replied 1-on-1 or thinking people haven't had time yet .

Leave the message there, I bet you anything people will approach you on the day wanting to know what the plan is for coffee.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. People are just busy / flaky / awkward / British / anxious / rude / all of the above.

I'm convinced that everybody is just generally more anti-social these days. People barely speak on my class Whatsapp unless we're confused about something the school has said. I'm personally quite introverted and don't engage much, but I've seen others try and be ignored too. A mom sent a huge paragraph re her daughters birthday party coming up, asking if anybody wanted to book the venue with her, and have a joint party (I dont think this is down to affordability, I think she was just discussing the options the venue offers). Nobody responded AT ALL. I gave her a sympathy like towards the end of the day and lo and behold, people then started liking her message too. I feel like people are scared to speak up until somebody else gives the go ahead.

OK, deep breaths. No need to check your phone. In fact, put the whole chat into archive folder right now so you can get some rest. You can look at it in 24h.

There is nothing to be embarrassed about or feel bad for. Your mind is making it bigger than it needs to be. In fact, I would be congratulating yourself on making the first difficult step. Doesn't really matter that it didn't work out this time. Next time it will.

I've had a similar experience with a woman in my hobby group. When we saw each other in person, I asked if she wanted to meet up for a drink. She said yes. I messaged her a few days later and she ghosted me. No big deal, honestly.

Aww, sorry op. I am definately guilty of reading a text, fully intending to respond, then forget all about it.
Don't delete, just leave it open

From the outside looking in, you did absolutely nothing wrong OP and the other members of the group are really bloody rude !
however if i was you I’d still be absolutely mortified and feel like saying ‘fuck you then!’

This! Unless they are shift workers, they will have places to be after drop off .

Oh i feel you! I am in the same situation!

i would joke about it “oh wow, cant keep up with all replies 😂 anyway, offer still stands! Have a good evening”.

This!!

In fairness. I always worked so I would have read the message and thought what the heck some of us work... Coffee after drop off was never my gig. Ever.

Agree with people. Brave.

But please be cautious. If many don't work there is a clique. So let it develop naturally if at all.

Good luck!

Agree with those who have said it is a bit rude not to reply at all. I wouldn't delete but would be tempted to follow it up with something along the lines of 'well maybe later in term then when we're a bit more settled'.

Edited - just saw you only sent it this pm. I'd give it a bit more time. All you need is one person to reply and you might get a flurry

OP can only speak for myself but as someone with a full time job who's had kids at home for the last 7 weeks... there is no way I'd be able to go for a coffee at 9 on a weekday. Maybe give it a bit or suggest a more work friendly time?
Edited to add - I'd probably think 'I'll reply to that once kids are in bed' but would be very easy to forget as the answer would be a no.

Well done OP! Please don't feel silly - you've done a very kind and cool thing in being bold enough to reach out. I think sometimes people panic about agreeing to something that could end up being one-on-one (like a safety in numbers thing) so I really hope you get at least one good reply that will encourage others to go for it!
It's bonkers that just going for a coffee with other adults can feel so loaded with conditions and considerations, but I've heard so many stories about mums making friends for life through the school ecosystem! Good luck ❤️

I think you're great and brave sending the text when you say that it was hard for you to do - putting yourself out there etc.

OK you didn't get the outcome you wanted atm but don't let that overshadow what you did. Monday's are crappy days for a lot of ppl The might just think oh I will get back to that or be waiting till the see you at school. You just don't know.

But be proud that you put yourself out of your comfort zone. Well done.

Why not let friendships develop naturally as time goes on, chat at the school gate, find a couple of people you actually like, then start asking them for coffee?

You may or may not develop school mum good friendships. Just because your children are at the same school doesn't mean you're naturally going to be friends. Children can still ask other children to play/ have tea after school without their parent having to come with them.