AIBU to feel embarrassed after no replies in the class WhatsApp group?

How do class WhatsApp’s come about? Do the parents create them? My youngest is in her last year of primary and my eldest child is 24 with 2 other adult DD’s in between. In all my years of school runs I’ve never heard of or been part of a class WhatsApp. Unless there have been them and I’ve been excluded 😂 which tbh suits me fine

Don’t delete it but maybe say when is a good time if anyone wants to meet

it may be they are busy that day - or working etc

I'm really surprised no one has replied. Its not you, its them!

Because it takes a few seconds to say “thanks for the invite but I’m working all week.” And so on. It’s just polite to respond to an invite

When mine started school I found loads of the reception mums worked part-time or were SAHMs or on mat leave/career breaks. Only a few worked full-time at that point.

Oh gosh OP - you’re very brave for doing that.

IME the junior school mums were a brutal bunch. Too much to detail here but in hindsight it was unfortunately toxic a lot of the time (all very middle class etc). I was a bit introverted so it took me a long time to make friends, but they’re still friends today so the good ones.

But those seven years showed me that there are way more mean/competitive mums around than I had foreseen.

Just leave the message up and move on and be friendly, I think would be my best advice.

Same. i think we met up after the first drop off and again the next week or two. Everyone was really supportive if someone was upset if their child had struggled to go in too.

OP it’s a shame you have separate class groups and not a year one then you could have gone with the other mums!

Definitely don’t delete it. Doing so will suggest you’re lacking in self-confidence.
If I were in that group and unable to go I’d be reluctant to reply in case it cascaded. On MN if my response tends to be negative I hold back until others have replied because I don’t want to upset the OP.
Some people hang back waiting for a more confident person to reply.
You certainly shouldn’t take this personally. It would be easy to read it that way as the initiator but really that’s not the case.
In future arrange with an other mum then offer the opportunity to the group as PP have suggested.

Don’t feel embarrassed!!
Remember that if anyone did fancy it they could message you privately and take your number from the group… so what I’m saying is that only you know that no one has replied!! For all they know, you’ve had messages privately.. so forget that part of being embarrassed! Someone may well approach you at the school aswell in person! X

Interesting all the people saying they probably work, lots of mums at my kids school dont work and stand around chatting outside of the school for ages after drop off, ive had meetings at the school and come out and the same Mums are stood chatting half an hour / hour later, and their kids are in year 5/6! I think it’s rude not to respond even if they are working.

It’s not embarrassing at all people will just assume you have had some private replies
Arrange something in a few weeks face to face with anyone you click with

I agree that you were really brave 🙂 and if it makes you feel a bit better, I might be a mum that didn’t reply to this because I was too scared of socialising with people I don’t know, even though I would want to be brave enough to say yes. And I’m sure there are mums on there who are just like me in that regard.

I hope you find your way to the mums you’re compatible with ☺️ (and I hope I do too! My 2 younger dc have just started nursery and reception)

Yes exactly!

And tbh I probably would respond privately to arrange it.

Please don’t be embarrassed by this.

No one wants to make an excuse or be the first to say no because they don’t want to seem rude.

Half have probably read it and forgot to reply anyway.

Even if nothing comes from this text message, people now know you’re happy to meet for a coffee in the future and that will open loads of doors to building friendships.

They probably assume you are really confident and they’re feeling really shy.

When people are more settled into the school year then they’ll probably suggest it again.

Well done you OP

Don't be embarrassed - people aren't going to go 'Oh cringe, no one replied to her', because people might have responded to you privately for all they know.

Why on earth are thyy rude? They didnt ask for the invite it is there if people want to take it up, Why put rudeness onto them?

Erm mums work, it's 2026, not 1952! Out of a class of 30 I can only think of 1 mum that doesn't work. Why do you need to "get close" to these people, they are just parent's with kids the same age. I have 3 primary age children, I know lots of parent's (not just mums!) really well, it happened by going to kids party's and the odd night out without kids. I don't drop off or pick my kids up as I work full-time, there are plenty people like this. I've never felt the need to go for coffee with school mums though, it's all a bit weird and forced, I think working out who are your sort of people more organically is better. My youngest is y1 now, he's been in the same class since nursery and I've just about sussed out who are my sort of people and who I just wouldn't want to make small talk with. I've never felt i needed the friendship of other school mums though, more just being pleasant to people who are stuck attending the same things as you for 7 or 8 years!

Also I'd roll my eyes so hard if everyone in the group replied "what a lovely idea, unfortunately I work" or whatever. A message on a group chat like that you only reply to if you are free/want to go, the other people in the chat do not need to know you can't go or your reason why!! It's like when someone loses a jumper and 30 people reply "not here" omg only reply if you DO have it!!!

Just curious, whereabouts is this affluent area in the UK where most mums don’t work?! Almost every mum at my kids' school does. Cost of living crisis n all...

I agree with this. It was actually very brave to put yourself out there like that, so well done (& enjoy your coffee!)

My advice is to go for the coffee anyway, don’t wait for others and don’t feel embarrassed. Go and sit and enjoy a coffee for an hour on your own and be thankful for being able to do so as what a treat! Don’t let others determine your happiness, you made them the offer and reached out and it doesn’t matter why they declined or didn’t respond, do it anyway ☺️

I have to agree with this. These things tend to evolve in this way-a couple of people decide to go to the park/soft play/coffee/out for drinks and then tell others in the class that’s what they are doing if they also fancy it.

Loads of folk don't go straight from drop off to work. They either work part time, shifts, or flexible working etc. Not everyone does the 9-5!

Don’t worry. People tend not to say no if they can’t make it because it creates that wave effect. It won’t be you, it will be that they are busy.

It is definitely them and not you. You did a lovely thing, well done. People who don’t reply are just rude

Because people dont have too i assume a message like needs a response if you are interested you respond

People have lives outside of school parent meet ups and if they dont they shoulf just because our kids gp to the same school does not mean this is the centre of our universe