AIBU to feel embarrassed after no replies in the class WhatsApp group?

@Exhausted553 did anyone get back to you?

The school starts from y3 and you know some children from nursery, but that’s a long time ago…did you know any of them from reception/Year 1/Year 2? Did they all go to a different school?

Well done for doing that! If nothing else you should feel proud of yourself for your courage.😊

I think you should do the party - that feels like a different kettle of fish. If anyone is sitting there thinking that you are lame because you posted about having a coffee, they're dreadful people.

It's a private school and small class.

Style it out. If it’s a full class of 30 no one will do a full inventory of who was where so put something vague that could imply you either went with a few or just chatted at the school gate ‘lovely to see a couple of you this morning. Hope everyone has a lovely first week. I’m always up for a post drop cuppa if anyone else is. ’

If people are busy and already have plans they might not reply as the message probably asked if anyone was free rather than asking specific people if they are free, I wouldn’t take it personally. xxx

Don't delete. You have shown your cards - which is that you are up for a coffee, nothing more nothing less.
Even if no one responds to you this week, or ever, someone will remember your offer. Over time someone will message you or come up to you in the playground to chat. After the summer everyone wants a some time to themselves or to tackle the huge 'to do' list - honestly last thing they want to do is talk about their children 5 minutes after they've finally got them back to school. Some will also be shy about a 1:1 and take time to warm up (that's a good thing as the ones who instantly reply are those who are more likely to want to suss you out for your social status or even worse free childcare).
It's a marathon not a sprint, so take your time and when friendship is offered 'choose wisely'!

It's still nearly two months to Halloween Op. You have time for things to change.

Different context but I am the same. Well done on posting.

I don’t have children Not sure about your school as wide catchment but I notice threads on here when an illness or other event means that the parents can’t drop their child off at school, no family in the area and general friends that work. Someone suggests asking another parent off classmates and they say they don’t know them at all. I know it’s hard with working but even just tiny things might be useful for things like this or if become proper friends help more for serious illness.

Well done on stepping outside your comfort zone OP! That is something to be proud of even if it hasn’t worked out immediately.

The first week back is always a bit manic and when I am really busy, sometimes I can be guilty of not replying to general invitations rather than those directed to me. It’s not personal, it’s just life.

But give it time. As things calm down, people will remember you reached out and think of you as a friendly person who is interested in connecting. That will likely turn into invitations and play dates when people are less busy. You have NOTHING to feel embarrassed about!

I think that's really nice of you, but at our school everyone does drop off and then heads to work (either from home or to the office), much as I would love to be invited for a coffee there's no way I could fit one in. So maybe this is the case here? Although I do think people could have replied to tell you that

Good for you in taking the step to send an invitation.
As no one had the common courtesy to respond I suspect you may have dodged a bullet. People who don’t even have these basic manners tend to think they are better than others and you’d have spent unwarranted energy needing to please them. Though there may be a couple who are nice but quiet to fit in, and not be excluded from the clique too.
Go have a laugh about it with your mate from the other class. You did something nice, it was their behaviour which is lacking.

OP, if everyone's new, they're not judging you as a person at all. They don't know you yet...

Do the Halloween party - it will be lovely.

You sound organised and thoughtful, which lots of people just aren't! But - they have other virtues 😊Don't write them off, it's very very early days.

I know. I find it so rude.

I wouldn’t have replied to the message because I would feel it’s still a bit too public, but I would approach you directly for that coffee, if that makes sense. Don’t be embarrassed.

It's really common for people to completely ignore messages. I don't know why. I used to get annoyed by it but just realise it's the way things are now. I try to grab people in person.

Still have the party! You can then arrange more meet ups after that.
And go meet the mums in the other class. It doesn’t matter I’m sure the kids will still play together at lunch etc

So did you "advertise" is as a class meet up like other classes do?

If the mums already have friends they may not be bothered about more if it came across as you wanting to make friends?

That tends to just happen I think.

Haha that's good. Well done.

It got some crying laughing emoji responses followed by a couple of excuses of why they didn't reply.

I did end up later becoming close with some of the mums. It's always a risk putting yourself out there. I just try not to take it personally.

I didnt get close to any of the parents. Saw 3 DC through school without it. It stands out that you said you forced yourself but didn’t really want to. Why is that? You don’t have to be part of a ‘mum’ group, it’s fine to just do drop off and pick up and be polite without forcing friendships with people you have nothing in common with.

Not my cup of tea. Meet for a coffee 😂.

🤣

What happened after that?

@Exhausted553 I'd still have the Halloween party. Can the dcs just be dropped off?

I hope you can make friends elsewhere. These mums sound rather rude.

Have a Halloween party but make sure you get def yes or no so you know for food /games etx