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Husband spied on me through bathroom and bedrooms doors in the past and concerned somethings happening again

88 replies

Pitterpatterruby · 07/09/2026 11:00

I’ve never spoken of this, but I caught my husband spying on me one evening in the bathroom through a small hole he had made with a small screw. He denied it at first, but never truly admitted it but apologised, I also discovered he had also made holes in the bedroom door.
we moved on, but one evening he was watching a video, he made the effort to close it as soon as I entered the room, he denied it was anything and made an excuse, I assumed he had been looking at porn. But, he seems to know when I’ve been in a certain draw in our bedroom as he said his clothes get moved (it’s where I keep my sex toy, sorry tmi), he seemed to know I had used it, even though it would have been incredibly hard for him to know. I have started suspecting a camera or listening device in the bedroom, so I have pretended to call a man in the bedroom this morning, only this will confirm my suspicions.
I don’t know what I’m hoping from this post, but I think I needed to write it down.

OP posts:
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PineapplePixie · 08/09/2026 23:22

Op how did your search go and did the fake call work? Why do you keep your things in his drawer. Hope your ok and safe

MyArtfulGreySloth · 07/09/2026 17:00

Op ignore the idiot talking about the sex toys, you don’t have to explain yourself at all.

Sunnyjac · 07/09/2026 16:20

He's committed offences that he could be imprisoned for

Pitterpatterruby · 07/09/2026 15:45

I’ve read most of the responses. We share a chest of drawers, I keep it under the clothes.
With regards to someone mentioning about not agreeing with sex toys and asking about that, its not something I want to divulge too much, but there’s a huge market for sex toys for women and couples and there’s nothing wrong with using one in my opinion.
You've all given me lots of things to think about, so thanks for all the responses. I’m going to look into things a bit further in terms of any devices, if I do find something then the marriage will definitely be over.
The idea of me pretending to talk to a man was something I saw suggested on the internet (it seems it happens fairly often), if I asked him he could simply deny it, so this is just one step that I’ve taken.

OP posts:
Oldbunk · 07/09/2026 14:15

No. I’m not buying this. Have you checked for recording devices?

Omgblueskys · 07/09/2026 14:07

Op this is really creepy, hopefully fill in the holes, but yes there's a Camara somewhere in the bedroom 🤢

HoChiMince · 07/09/2026 14:05

Grim. Get rid asap because this is really abusive. And in the meantime you had better check your room extremely carefully for cameras.

Vanillaicelatte · 07/09/2026 14:05

Switch your Bluetooth on on your phone

see if any unknown devices come up

CurlewKate · 07/09/2026 14:04

This is a relationship that you need to be out of. If he thinks you are talking to another man, are you safe?
incidentally, why do you keep your sex toy in his drawer??

Bronzeacorn · 07/09/2026 14:02

I'm sorry you are experiencing this, it sounds scary. None of it is your fault
I hope you can get out of the relationship and get support.

RandomUserName96 · 07/09/2026 14:01

Naurrr · 07/09/2026 12:58

I don't think it's appropriate to ask a victim of voyeurism about her sex toy usage? @RandomUserName96 Confused

Thats a fair comment

I apologise for how that came across. Im not expecting OP to provide details obviously. It seemed an extreme thing for him to notice/to pick up on was my point

Hiredgun · 07/09/2026 13:58

Pitterpatterruby · 07/09/2026 11:00

I’ve never spoken of this, but I caught my husband spying on me one evening in the bathroom through a small hole he had made with a small screw. He denied it at first, but never truly admitted it but apologised, I also discovered he had also made holes in the bedroom door.
we moved on, but one evening he was watching a video, he made the effort to close it as soon as I entered the room, he denied it was anything and made an excuse, I assumed he had been looking at porn. But, he seems to know when I’ve been in a certain draw in our bedroom as he said his clothes get moved (it’s where I keep my sex toy, sorry tmi), he seemed to know I had used it, even though it would have been incredibly hard for him to know. I have started suspecting a camera or listening device in the bedroom, so I have pretended to call a man in the bedroom this morning, only this will confirm my suspicions.
I don’t know what I’m hoping from this post, but I think I needed to write it down.

I’m sure he’s a perfect lovely man called Tom.

Doctor Who Reaction GIF
Artefact23 · 07/09/2026 13:57

Viviennemary · 07/09/2026 13:54

Sounds creepy and horrible. But I don't approve of 'sex toys' either.

Who gives a crap whether you approve of sex toys? OP didn't ask for your opinion re that. If you've nothing useful to add, take your judgement elsewhere.

Viviennemary · 07/09/2026 13:54

Sounds creepy and horrible. But I don't approve of 'sex toys' either.

anon4net · 07/09/2026 13:49

@Pitterpatterruby he did not suspect you were cheating, he used gaslighting techniques so he didn't have to admit what he did due to his own kinks. He is likely doing this to more people than you. Men like this don't have one target and it often escalates - he sounds pretty 'expert' in what to do already...

Phone Women's Aid. Don't play games of making him think something to get confirmation he's spying. You are in a very very inappropriate/scary situation and need to leave. This is not innocent. You have no clue what he's doing with what he records. Do you have children? What if they use the same bathroom?? Guests? To be honest, I'd actually call the police for advice here and log the previous incident too.

Please take this seriously.

pimplebum · 07/09/2026 13:49

Video of you using your sex toy snd other videos could be all over the internet

insist on access full internet immediately you next see him
full access to phone and you need to leave as you don't know where hidden cameras are

Nueperson · 07/09/2026 13:40

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Report it then, rather than troll hunting.

Katigee410 · 07/09/2026 13:39

Strange he's spying on his own wife. Must be some kinda kink . Either way it's surely a red flag moment?

Gengha · 07/09/2026 13:38

Cotopaxi · 07/09/2026 11:20

He's a peeping tom. Chances are he's not only doing it to you, but is probably trying to look in the windows of the houses opposite.

Revolting.

And possibly at his work too

Creep

KilkennyCats · 07/09/2026 13:38

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Agree.

LoftyPlumLion · 07/09/2026 13:35

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MyArtfulGreySloth · 07/09/2026 13:35

What a horrible man! I’m not sure the fake conversation with another man is a good idea though. Be careful op.

AInightingale · 07/09/2026 13:34

You can buy a hidden camera detector, they are fairly inexpensive, and sweep every room in your house with it. It's something they have to do in Korea where this kind of crime is so prevalent.

Nueperson · 07/09/2026 13:33

I’m astonished that you are still with this man. He’s beyond creepy. Finish it now, immediately. I honestly don’t think you’re safe.

Mangelwurzelfortea · 07/09/2026 13:30

Pitterpatterruby · 07/09/2026 11:48

He was sorry and realised it was wrong, he said he suspected I was cheating, I used to sometimes spend a while sat on the toilet flicking through things on my phone, but rather than confront me, he made a stupid choice.

He didn't make a 'stupid choice'. He knew you weren't cheating on the toilet. He is a peeping tom and it's a fetish. It's also a massive violation and he is grim.