I don’t have any friends

No we all stayed in the same place. I work in a professional environment and I see now many who did my degree settling in the city. I was lucky as I am the only one in my group who has a degree but the university is in our city so I never had to move away.

For an extra layer of stability some of us are inter married ( friend relatives of friends) My sister married a chap she met in the city on my birthday night out who moved to us . We laugh that she is the only one improving the gene pool

We are the epitome of the village but within a city .

I do have friends but I don't feel I have anyone that I could generally ring at any time when I'm feeling lonely or struggling. Divorcing my husband was good for me. Got away from him, moved house, met loads of people, who all seem to like me and we chat when we meet in the village or park, but only one has become what I'd say is a true friend in that we message and talk on the phone.

No family above me, have children who all live away at the moment through work or travelling, and I don't think I should use them as emotional support.

I would love to make new friends as I am very sociable but when I'm feeling low, it's hard to be home alone. What helps me is planning my day and today it will be time in the garden and a long walk with my dog.

You make it sound so easy. The fact is though thatno matter how much effort some of us are prepared to put in, social interaction and making friends is an impossibility. I'm not saying this is the case for OP but I really think some people have no understanding how difficult " other people" are for some of us.

It's in the OP.

Out of interest, did you ever move away from where you grew up?

Hi op. I have a school friend I'm in touch with who I see once or twice a year for lunch in London.

And I know some school parents. But I don't have anyone I can call to go for a coffee or glass of wine with locally.

I don't like the intimacy that it requires tbh and I find it absolutely exhausting paying attention to the other person the whole time. I don't have the same problem with my school friend or DH.

I know LOTS of people and I'm super brilliant at small talk. And I can go to a conference and talk at length to people on my table etc.

But I feel the same as you. I'm happiest doing my own thing.

I know some people who are in and out of each other's houses for Sunday lunch and girls weekends away. Part of my pangs for a similar experience. The other part of me feels sick at the idea of having to so the same thing!

My friends are very important to me but I’ve never not had close friends. Whereas you seem content without them. Do you have children?

You say that you’re happy, which is great, but would you be happy if your DH disappeared one day? If the answer to that is no, then maybe it’s time to put some effort into finding friends now rather than in the future if you need to.

You definitely aren't an oddity OP.
So many threads on MN about people with no or few friends and people who have difficulty making friends.

I've come to terms with having no friends. I would love to have just one friend to do things with, share parts of my life with, but I've accepted that's not going to happen. Most of the time I'm happy with my own company but I would be lying if I said i didn't feel lonely sometimes.

In my area there are lots of club and activities which older ladies join in with very enthusiastically. Personally because of my autism and social anxiety I can't cope with them. Unless you have similar issues to myself you might be able to try something like these organised activities, assuming there are some in your area, should you feel the need to create some social connections in the future.

The way I understand it is that it's loneliness that's damaging- not solitude. I read a book recently by Joseph Jebelli and he said for people who find socialising stressful, it's more damaging to force it just because you have been told that it's good for you. My take away from that ( and I'm similar to you) is that if you're happy, that's fine.

We live as a big bunch of friends from school and have picked up people along the way. Now in our fifties we don’t got out as a group as much but we’re all within 5/10 mile of where we always have been. Some people eye roll at this 😂

Lots of people at work have seen the benefits it brings of the village. Helping with childcare, lifts to the airport and city for example but maybe don’t see the effort it takes to maintain it. It’s certainly not for everyone.

Personally I couldn’t live like you I have a need for people around me but there’s also people who don’t. If you want it go and find it we have like I say picked up people who wanted a friend group but if your happy then your happy but as pp say your eggs sre in one basket.

SIL is in this predicament. She is a widow now and lonely. She won't volunteer or join anything and then complains that she rarely sees anyone.

When DD went to univrrsity I joined a charity and a book group. I have made friends in both.

Well, you’re currently dependent on one person for all your emotional and social needs. Doesn’t that strike you as rather vulnerable?