I don’t have any friends

And does that make him a lesser person?

Happily married?

I can’t really see the issue. Would it appeal to me? Hell no. But you’re happy and it’s kind of been like this all your life from the sounds of it

Thank you for this. I’m in a similar position though I have grown up children. I’ve always felt a lot more comfortable in my own company and forced myself to go out and socialise when I was younger. I found it extremely stressful and would drink excessively to make myself feel more comfortable.

I think if you are getting out of the house, exercising and doing mindful things, that is the most beneficial to happiness.

What do you and your husband do together?

any children?

No, he didn’t attend his own funeral, obviously, but it’s apparently likely from the way his body was found that he was alive for some time in his house, alone and unable to contact anyone, with his dog and cats starving around him, which is not how I’d like my life to end— he was a perfectly healthy man of 71, who’d worked FT until Christmas 2025, so was not receiving any care visits or on anyone’s radar as at risk.

@RanniTheWitch

My friends have been a wonderful support network to me. I am certainly not infirm or ill.

Throughout divorce, career highs and lows, kids highs and lows… I could go on

You misunderstood me

Some people eye roll at this 😂

but you live in a city.

While that's sad for us to contemplate I guess he doesn't care as he wasn't there either. People have different balances of needs.

How did you make friends after moving away? Contemplating leaving and going somewhere new but worried I won’t make any!

I think it's good to be self sufficient emotionally but I think you need to think about what will happen if you are widowed. I don't think that's quite the same as always having been single because it's such a trauma and you might need support. Not that you should run your whole life around this one worst case awful thing but resilience is important

When people say ‘support network’, they don’t mean ‘Who’s going to look after you when you’re old and infirm?’ They mean things like ‘Who knows what’s going on in your life?’, ‘Whose shoulder do you cry on when something awful happens or celebrate the good stuff?’, ‘Who will text and say they’re thinking of you because they know you’re having an interview/biopsy/difficult anniversary?’, ‘Who could pick up a prescription for you if you had flu?’, ‘Who would notice if you dropped out of circulation and contact you?’ etc.

I went to a funeral last week of a man in his early 70s whom I knew only because he ran a local business near here before he retired. He had never married or had children, lived quite a solitary life and had only one remaining family member who lived in another country. He died at home, his body wasn’t found for several days, and the only people at his funeral were two neighbours and a bunch of us who arranged to go via the neighbourhood WhatsApp, having realised that would be the case. .

You would think so, but cities are lonley places too. The people at work who have moved here from all over the country and the world have it seems very little support around them. If life throws a curve ball, then there in trouble, Last term my dad was delayed and could pick the kids up from school. I phoned my friend who works nights, and he went and picked them up (his daughter went to the same local primary) My coleagues are miles away from family and dont have the frieds who could do that for them

I work NHS and in years gone by there was a great support network from work, our hospital even had a squash ct . Now the facilities have all gone and the younger ones dont want to socialise like we used to ( not a drinking culture either) . I invited them all to my house for a BBQ with their families and some couldnt belive I was inviting them to my home .

I could understand if a village or even a town. But a city? Loads of people would stay in the city they grew up in presuming a thriving city with all the employment opps a city usually offer over a town/village!

I know. Maybe unusual I can only judge that by the reaction I get when I describe to other people but there must be more. Though a sporting contact I managed to make freinds with somone with a parallel set up down the road. We have on occassion blended the groups and had some quite large, enjoyable gatherings.

I work with a a woman who is Authodox Jewish we have so much in common the way we live whch is really nice she is also local. Their support particularly around new mothers is very impresive.

I have no friends. I've tried over the years and it always ends in me being ghosted and confused. Maybe it's my own fault because I often felt like my cup was being emptied the more I socialised, and most friends seemed draining. I'm quite happy on my own with my dog.

I am happily child and friend free. I don’t struggle to make friends and have had friends before but I simply don’t enjoy it and prefer being alone. I have people I am friendly with when we happen to be in the same space together such as at the gym, but I have no interest in seeing them or contacting them outside that activity. I don’t really worry about a support network as I have plenty of money so can pay for care as and when I need it. I know that I will be quite happy in a retirement home, and until that point comes I can get everything I need delivered, can use taxis to get about etc.

After I divorced I moved away from London and have lived in my current place for almost a year. When I was married my social life revolved around my husband 's friends and family. Now I'm on my own and I have discovered I am pretty much like my dad in that I'm introverted and don't need a lot of people. My dad is a follower, he'll do whatever my mum wants to do. He doesn't have any friends of his own and social engagements can wear him out. .

I am the same. I work shifts so I can't "join" things like my mum does and attend things every week at the same time. I have the respect of my colleagues but I wouldn't say any of them are friends. I like solitary pursuits like reading, and gardening.

I have a friend from school who, now I've moved closer, likes to meet up once a month which is nice. My other social interactions are at work, which is customer facing, but like Dad, by the time I get home I just want to stay inside and watch telly. Lots of people I know say I should be trying to make more friends but I am not that bothered.

You have to know yourself and know what you are comfortable with. It could be something small like joining a group like the WI, or doing some community work, or taking up a new hobby but only do it if you feel comfortable. My mum has been in the WI since she retired. She volunteers in the community, goes to a craft group, and plays lawn bowls. She's got a good amount of friends and seems happy.

“All the drama”…. Amongst my very close friendship group of 30 years… honestly, never any “drama”. Just support, love, no judgement, laughter, and just…. Well, they mean the world to me

I find intimate female friendships and all the drama that can go with them drain me, so have dwindled them down to a couple of friends I see in the summer and at Christmas. I'm very happy with a quick chat with someone in a shop or in a queue where I can just up and leave if it gets too intense! I recently had a lovely chat with a lady in the gp waiting room that filled my social pot to the top for several days.

I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this if it suits you right now and you are happy. There’s a lot of pressure in society to feel that we need a lot of friends around us, or it’s abnormal if we don’t. Whereas the truth is for many people they maybe only have a very small selection of others that they feel happy with, and there’s nothing wrong with calling a family member or spouse a friend either.
When it suits you you may wish to change this, the great news is there’s always time and chance if you’d want it to change.
Life fluctuates too, sometimes you’ll have many friends, other times none (many advantages to both).
So if you are happy right now I’d leave the status quo as it is.

oh you grew up in a city? Ah not what I was imagining the way you described

And rightfully so!

Years ago I posted about suggesting if someone on here was lonely to invite another poster around for a coffee or to meet in a cafe/park. I was rounded roasted.