I don’t have any friends

proximity is very important though. As i’ve got older quite a few friends have moved a long way away (think 200 miles so can’t do a day trip) in retirement and it seems to be a thing now: lots moving from this expensive town in the south to get something better and cheaper up north in retirement. My adult children are down here so I’m not moving but am actively trying to broaden my social scene locally for when I retire. No plans to retire yet as I love my job. I meet a lot of people in my work and see my adult children and their partners, my sister and my husband all the time, so honestly don’t have a huge need for extra social stuff. But it’s nice to meet new people, even at my age (mid fifties)

There is nothing wrong with being content to be at home and potter along, I can be similar, but without my husband around I think it would tip to lonely.
You have hobbies that you enjoy, could you find a group relating to them? You would immediately have something in common.

I’m a bit like this OP. I am not good at sitting in a cafe and just chatting/gossiping but prefer to do a common activity (I think a lot of men have this friendship model but it seems rarer amongst women). I joined a local sports club so I can get out of the house regularly and do my sport and chat to people that way. I wouldn’t say they are close friends but I just prefer that type of friendship. Everyone is different.

@Chrom, I don't know why the " For Goodness Sake" I joined WI, admittedly in a state of grief. Bags on chairs, saving seats for sister/ friend. I went for coffee and encountered racism and left. I went to a book club and nobody had read my suggested book. I joined Singing and was excluded from meetups.

It does happen and it does hurt.

So sorry for the loss of your partner.

I hope you are successful in making some new connections. Best wishes to you.

Im quite solitary. I was perfectly happy with DP, we spent all our time together. Then he died. It's very noticeable, to me anyway, how alone I am. I very much regret not maintaining friendships or making the effort to make friends. It was so much easier for me to think I'm ok with DP, than make the effort, and I would have found the effort difficult so I didn't bother. Now I'm trying to make the effort. No matter how self reliant we are, and self reliance is a good thing, sometimes we do need other people.

I completely get this. I've got a reasonably good network now, but even so, everyone is married or has a partner, so aren't necessarily available for anything spontaneous, or to go on holiday with. But its nice to have them around and I'm glad I made the effort. I just hope I pop off before DH does!

they prefer life without the experience of friendships they have had.
Well, there's truth in this and some have been hurt, let down etc by friends (that's life!) then retreat socially. It's also true to say some people are better at friendships than others. I suppose social skills, tolerance, an easy going nature, ..blah....some people are more natural at that stuff. Others, especially ASD, struggle to make and keep connections, alienate people without necessarily knowing why.
I sometimes read posts on MN bemoaning about how a so-called friend has behaved towards them and I think "that's not a friend!" Perhaps friendless people are just too picky or critical?

It’s fine unless he drops dead before you and you need help with something. My friend is having an operation, it’s major surgery, she has a few of us lending a hand for a few weeks after she has lived alone for many years.

Really I’m agreeing with what @VoltaireMittyDream has written. It’s one of the reasons men remarry often and quickly after being widowed, they are far less likely to have networks to help them so they get their own network of one back again and as women outlive men there are plenty of chances unlike women who vastly outnumber men in old age.

I disagree that you don’t need local friends. I mean it’s all very well having a school friend in Glasgow when you live in Kent but who do you go for coffee with? Drinks in town? A walk? A last minute night out dancing? Wander round a stately home? All things I’ve done with local friends in last 2 weeks. I only see my uni friends about twice a year. I do think friendship is situational there’s no shame in that.

The OP has described they don't personally have many social needs. But she's also trying to discuss the topic and has asked an interesting question - is anyone else happy being a loner? The answer will be yes, it is as true today as at any other time in history.

To respond to the OP, if an interest or community group was added to the mix it might be positive to have some contacts outside the house. You don't have to seek friends specifically, they may arrive naturally from more contacts.

I read somewhere that it’s the connections with others that’s good for us, not necessarily friendships. So, saying good morning to the postman, chatting to the coffee shop worker etc is actually really important.
I think sometimes we get sold a version of friendship that’s not accurate for most people. I wouldn’t worry about having “best friends” but would just build up your network generally - starting with people you just say good morning to but maybe also thinking about local hobbies / activities where you can meet people as well.

An open invitation to anyone, to come to my home? Obviously not. An individual invitation to someone local, who needs a bit of support, to meet at a cafe somewhere? Absolutely, why wouldn't you?

It’s fine but i would considering getting a pet and also volunteering. That way you can work alongside people doing something useful but there’s no pressure to make friends. It might happen or might not but at least you get some company

Yes, all late 60s and up. Though they started out as younger people who liked pottering at home and only needed their DH / their ‘little family’. Until they were widowed empty-nesters and awfully bitter that a community didn’t emerge out of nowhere when they needed one, to keep them company and change their lightbulbs.

It’s great you are happy with life in retirement and marriage.

I would also maybe try and cultivate some interests or friends sooner rather than later away from your marriage just so you have other outlets.

Someone I know was very much like this happy with husband as best friend and doing everything together but then her husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He is still around and they are making the most of quality time together but the wife who only has a small number of acquaintances and a couple of interests is worried out of her mind as to how she will cope with life without him.

In old age they become very needy and selfish, expecting people to just materialise from nowhere and do things for them, and are indignant that nobody will make the effort - failing to see the irony that they built their entire life and identity out of refusing to make an effort for anyone else.

That pretty much describes SIL.

This is exactly why I have been building a network

Me too @sunnyfeet
When DH was in hospital for 6 weeks last year. I was overwhelmed by the kindness and support I received from friends and acquaintances.

This is exactly why I have been building a network

This would make me feel very vulnerable indeed

You DO have friends, OP, they just aren't local....so why do you think they're not your friends any more? Can we only have friends if they live in the same town?
I'm the same age as you, and have known all of my closest friends between 40 and 50 years....I haven't lived near any of them for at least 30 years, but we still keep in touch and see each other fairly often. Even of my more "recent" friends (between 5 and 30 years) very few of them live near me. Friendship isn't just about proximity.

Maybe I have just been lucky, but that hasn't been my experience. However if I do see anyone who I think might have dubious intentions, I pass them by (obviously I appreciate it might not always be possible to tell).

I do think there are easier and better ways to make connections than apps, but I personally have had success with them.

These are your older relatives are talking about here @VoltaireMittyDream ??