AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

I know it sounds a lot, but any glance at places on, for example, the French Riviera shows places charging that or even more ...

You can’t find accommodation for less than £15k for two weeks but won’t share the location? I’m not believing this.

We’ve been on a once in a lifetime holiday with long haul flights, 5* accommodation, activities, and restaurant meals included for a family of four for that price for two weeks!

I completely understand OP. My mum and step dad have a place abroad and for 25 plus years we have visited several times a year to stay in the lovely house with pool and garden and so on. It was magical and the kids loved it. A few years ago they decided to sell the farmhouse to get something more practical.
It was totally the right decision for them. But they new place doesn't have the pool and the lovely garden and quiet idyllic setting and it's not old just a modern bungalow with no character. Absolutely makes sense as they get older but it is not the same place for me.
I guess the difference was they had no spare cash and couldnt afford to do both. But I get you. The memories for the family are the thing that you miss.

Your dad is very ill, with limited time left. Your mum must be feeling all types of stress and pain, and you’re wittering on about losing your long given free holidays?

You’d be best just supporting your mum through what will be difficult times for her ahead.

Well I don’t really understand why they’d get rid of it when they don’t need the money and it brings you all so much joy. Can their minds be changed at all? Maybe you and your brother could split the bills for it annually?

Look on the bright side; you can now explore other
places and have new experiences. No need to return to the same destination every year

You sound a bit spoiled and entitled

a lovely holiday in August does not need to cost £15k

🤣

Heartbreaking? Really?

Heartbreaking is when my friend lost her 19 year old son in a car accident.

Not a grown woman who is throwing her toys out of the pram because she won’t be enjoying the luxury of 4 free holidays a year which she has benefited for the last 30 years. Her parents (one of whom is ill) have thought long and hard and probably received legal advice have decided they cannot continue and reluctantly the property needs to be sold. It sounds all avenues have been explored and there is no option.

Perspective is needed here.

I suspect the last two years have been a bit of a test and the stress hasn’t been reduced and OPs Mum just can’t face more of it given her husbands health

OP says they spend a lot of time there with her parents and her mum can’t cope with the idea of going without the dad in future - if they keep the house it sounds like the only way she could spend time with her dd on holiday is at that house. She may well find the idea too much

its not about the money to her Mum either and she is no doubt equally as emotional as OP - but OPs feelings don’t trump hers

Too late to edit, but "everyone" in the second paragraph should have said "evermore"

I was going to ask why they'd gone back on the idea of you and DB managing the place, but in light of the above your mum's worries about it causing an issue may well be justified

It's no more reasonable to expect DB to pay than to hope your parents will provide free holidays for everyone, so while the disappointment's natural it's probably the time to draw a line under the whole thing

Oh that is heartbreaking, I’d be devastated. The holiday home doesn’t just represent the past, it’s now the place where your children are enjoying going back to the same place multiple times.

I hope she changes her mind, they don’t need the money.

And who pays the upkeep? Have you any idea how much it costs to tax and maintain property abroad? Where did OP say that her parents had promised that this house would be in their lives forever? And frankly even if they had, circumstances change. Begging a dying man to let you keep his house, but still expecting him to pay ££££ a year for your benefit is ghastly.

It’s completely understandable that OP is disappointed, but she can’t afford it and that’s the end of it. I’m sure she’ll quickly get used to having wonderful holidays that don’t cost £15k a week just for accommodation.

You're not unreasonable to feel sad but you need to turn this on it's head. Stop wallowing about everything you feel you're losing and consider how so very fortunate you have been to have had all these holidays at minimal costs. You've had something that many could never dream of. Yes it's coming to an end but that's life, reflect on the good times.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to feel the way you feel. I do think it would be unreasonable to say any of this to your parents or to try to change their decision. They’re not being unreasonable selling something they no longer want and you aren’t unreasonable feeling sad to lose somewhere you’ve had 30 years of happy memories in that you thought you would have for longer. Would you and your brother be able to afford half each and share it? I’m guessing by saying it’s worth more than your house that it must be quite expensive.

A friend of ours has the same and her and the siblings bought it off the parents.

Pp said go on one holiday OR buy it. Meaning suck it up and go on one holiday a year instead of 4 free holidays. She didn’t mean go on one holiday and you’ll be able to afford to buy it

It’s clear you haven’t read the thread. The op has spent 2 years trying to convince them not to sell, to allow the siblings to manage it . The Ops father is sadly very ill and has limited left, leaving the ops mum to carry the burden, their mum fears the siblings will fall out and she will be left to resolve the problem and her fear of the way the situation might evolve must be causing her parents some anxiety - maybe you don’t realise how differently older people feel about loose ends and risk?
It really is quite awful that rather than comfort and support her parents during this difficult time, allowing her parents to make choices that briing them freedom snd comfort that people are advising the op to continue to harass them, to not accept their decision, encouraging the op to add more pressure and emotion to what must be a very difficult decision at a very difficult time. It’s very distasteful.

So buy it off them then? Maybe they will use the money to go on a year long cruise? Some people are so entitled. It is their money not yours

Would they consider gifting it to you and your brother now, if you paid the CGT?

Could you rent it out for a year or two to pay the tax? You wouldn't be able to holiday there during that time, but it would stay in the family and you'd know that in a couple of years you'd be able to go back again.

Why do you like commenting on randomers posts?

Mainly because I don't know anyone on the Internet - you're all random to me.

In your case I couldn't quite fathom the whole thing. Probably because I've never had privilege quite like that - I know it's common in some circles, but I have never moved in them!

You are not unreasonable at all to feel the way you do. I believe it would be easier to accept if your parents truly needed the money. But from what you describe: they don’t. It will sit in a bank account (losing value). You say you all sobbed - but they have control over this situation! I think I would go back to them one more time and explain the implications the sale will have on your family. Beg them to reconsider. You have nothing to lose. (Honestly people saying ‘you’re very lucky to have enjoyed that house, so stop moaning’ - I don’t understand them at all. I find it cruel what your parents are doing. You were led to believe this house would be part of your family’s past, present and future. Now they take it away, without even trying the perfectly reasonable solution of you and your brother managing the place. We all know it is their decision. But it’s a decision that’s unnecessary and that just doesn’t make sense. Your parents are in a sad situation with your father’s health. Why spread more pain than necessary? I truly, truly don’t get it.)

Have you considered that they’re looking deeper in to their estate, to reduce complexity and burden for you and your brother?

Im no expert on IHT, but it strikes me as placing the funds raised potentially at risk of double taxation - capital gains from appreciation on the original investment, and then if cash held from the sale remains in their estate now, it could well be eroded with IHT upon the death of the last parent if the total estate exceeds £1m.

Worth understanding reasons, rationale and any drivers for this decision, rather than purely seeing it as a holiday destination.

Also, what does brother think and are you on good terms?

Yep. It is 100% about not being able to go on free holidays anymore. There is no more to it than that. I'm sure she'll miss the place a bit, like we all do when we move on from houses.

But she's upset because she will no longer get free holidays or the benefit of her parents upkeep on a house.

Yes i agree