Its hard to reply to everyone but a few things:
– I was 10 when my parents purchased the property so obviously wouldn’t have been paying for any holidays myself at that point.
-I find everyone’s obsession with my parents having let us have “free” holidays a bit odd. I am very grateful for having had this in my life and the opportunity to use it but my parents would have owned and paid for it all themselves these last 30 years regardless of whether we used it or not. My parents don’t rent it out to anybody else. Presumably everyone who is obsessed with it being free think my parents should have charged us rent to go? Obviously not when I was 10, so at what point would that have kicked in? I think people must have very odd or untrusting relationships with their parents if their parents would charge them to use something that the parents would otherwise still have and pay for and wouldn’t be earning anything else on during that time. My parents also normally overlap visits with us so should they have charged us rent when they are there too? I find this all very odd family dynamics. Appreciate it is very different for them to keep paying for something that they are not using, but until this year they went themselves once a month.
-Also I find everyone’s obsession with inheritance quite distasteful. I don’t expect anything, I hope they do find a way to spend it on themselves first, but regardless I hope we are decades away from that being a concern. My dad isn’t well, but I hope my mum will have 25 years or more. There’s an age gap between them and she’s in excellent health.
-I do realise I mentioned the loss of holidays in my OP which is very entitled and I acknowledge the privilege we have had. And yes we can afford to go somewhere else or rent a smaller villa once a year that would cost less, it won’t be the same because…
-It is the sentimental loss that is painful. The biggest pain being that it’s such a big part of my life with my parents, all our memories from when I was 10, and the realisation that my dad can’t go anymore is probably why I am so upset and why we all cried when they told me. I believe one reason we are so close as a family is that we went there together all the time, even as a teenager I still loved going and spending time there with my parents.
-It is also mine, my husband and our children’s happy place, we have been making our memories there. It is a home to all of us, my children have their bedrooms there, filled with their books, toys, their bikes in the garage - it’s where they both learnt to ride and to swim. My best family memories with my parents and with my children are there. I am also gutted that as my children move towards the preteen era they won’t have the same thing I enjoyed that kept such a close family connection.
-We did the maths last night and with adjustments, we could afford to run it as well as take on the management. We can also borrow against our mortgage to pay 50% of any tax due now. I am going to see if my brother is up for this and speak to my parents again. We had suggested it before and the agreement had been we’d start by taking on the admin and gradually take on the cost so I’m not sure if they will go for it. And I guess I don’t understand why not other than maybe it’s just too painful for them now they can’t go.
-There has been no suggestion of them passing any of the money from the sale onto us and I wouldn’t expect such a generous gift. Regardless, even if they offered me 50% of the money, I would prefer to keep the holiday home because it isn’t about the money.