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Original poster

AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

576 replies

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 14:49

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

OP posts:
likeitshard · 04/09/2026 22:11

My ils also had a holiday home we were also sad when they sold it. Some years it was our only holiday . They paid for an extension on their 4 bed detached house that the two of them live in. It was their choice.

Original poster
Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 22:09

Kajjsa · 04/09/2026 17:39

It’s difficult to tell whether you are upset about the actual holiday home being sold or that you won’t be able to have all those holidays anymore as you cannot afford your own.

I own a holiday home abroad. It’s an amazing setting right on a private beach. It’s a holiday home which have been with my family for generations. I personally don’t go that often, but I am not selling for sentimental reasons and I know my children will want to continue to go there and holiday with their families in the future. So I do understand being close emotionally to a holiday home/ place.

A lot of it is the emotion, which I tried to say in my post but perhaps failed, it’s where my family spend our quality time together. My kids have gone there since they were born, it’s our home away from home, my happiest place on earth and I would bet my children’s. Part of the reason I am so close to my parents is because I spent so much time with them there when I was growing up ie when as a teenager you don’t normally want to be with your parents but I still did as we are so close and I do believe that the house contributed a lot to that.

OP posts:
PuffinIsle · 04/09/2026 22:08

I remember being sad when my parents sold theirs (many years ago). But I also understood that it was theirs to do with as they wishes and they had been kind enough to let me use it. I still have those memories, they haven't gone away. Bit the house wasn't mine to begin with, it was theirs.

Original poster
Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 22:04

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 04/09/2026 17:35

So they didn't care how upset you were?

How much will the capital gains tax be if it goes for what they think it is worth?

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They cried too. It’s very emotional for everyone.

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 04/09/2026 22:01

You’re starting to come across quite entitled tbh

Porcuine20 · 04/09/2026 22:01

I can understand being so attached to the place - my grandma had a holiday house and I loved it and hoped it would stay in the family and I’d be able to go there for holidays forever. I have so many wonderful memories of it. In the end though, it was sold when my grandma died, and I didn’t mind as much as I thought I would. It wouldn’t have been the same without her. You’ve got an opportunity now to make new memories and traditions with your family and to explore some new places - I would try to accept your parents’ decision gracefully. They must have their reasons. Maybe you could plan a UK holiday for next year, and rent a cottage where your parents could stay with you, to spend time with them and return the favour a little. You’ll be able to afford holidays still but might just have to be a bit creative/do some research.

Original poster
Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 22:01

bodododo · 04/09/2026 17:21

@DeeDeeDodo

Have they been letting it out to other guests too or just letting family members stay there?

The only let my brother and I stay, friends and other family only stay when one of us is there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 21:59

Emupls · 04/09/2026 16:16

the reluctance to, indicates what the relationship is like

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We have a fantastic relationship. I see them a couple to times a week, speak to them most days and we have always holidayed together.

OP posts:
Purpleturtle45 · 04/09/2026 21:56

I would feel the same tbh, I don't blame you for being disappointed and upset.

Original poster
Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 21:55

GreenCa · 04/09/2026 16:12

Her parents have shared it with the family for the last 30 year. Whose to say that they won't give her and her brother a share of the money from the house sale? We had a property in France that we sold a few years ago as the expense of the upkeep and the annual French equivalents of council tax were becoming too much for us as we were reaching retirement on modest pensions. We have given our adult children most of the money from it's sale. They have used this to buy their own properties here. A much better use of the money than a property abroad which stood empty half of the year.

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They haven’t suggested this, although if I was given a choice I’d pick keeping the house. I asked what benefit the money will do and my mum said “I guess it will sit in the bank account, maybe you can use it towards an IHT bill one day”. So I guess in 20-25 years we’ll hand it straight to HMRC.

OP posts:
TheHawk · 04/09/2026 21:53

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 17:59

It's nice that you can afford to travel to lots of new places. I think if we could I would maybe feel differently, but I think we will be quite restricted.

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You said that you spent thousands just on air fares, I'm sure you could afford a family holiday for that. Maybe not in a luxury villa but there must be an alternative.

brunettemic · 04/09/2026 21:46

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 17:23

Yes, we probably would afford one small holiday a year.

Not that I think I should count on inheritance for any decisiosn in life, but hopefully I wouldn't receive any for 20+ years anyway.

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Define “small holiday” given an equivalent trip is apparently £15k. Flights for 4 in (presumably) school holidays will add up a lot. Where is this is place for a holiday to actually cost £15k.

TheLette · 04/09/2026 21:44

Where is this place that costs £15k for accommodation only for 2 weeks? I tend to stay in pretty decent places (although not mega luxury) and often in expensive locations, but I've never seen anywhere that costs anywhere near that sort of money! Surely your family can find a holiday much more cheaply somewhere else.

TheGrimSmile · 04/09/2026 21:40

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 15:01

WAAAAAAY out of my price range unfortunately - it’s worth more than my house (which has a mortgage on it). They considered gifting it to my brother and I but they’ve decided against that as they would be liable for capital gains tax.

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Can you offer to pay the CGT?

BIossomtoes · 04/09/2026 21:26

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 14:49

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

You don’t think 30 years of free holidays is enough? Totally unreasonable.

BlackCatsForever · 04/09/2026 21:14

KnewYearKnewMe · 04/09/2026 19:26

I can see why you’d be upset, OP.
if your parents don’t need the funds from the holiday home sale, and know that you and your brother’s family get a lot of joy from it, it feels really unfair to take it from you.

is there more to it than you know?

they will probably regret selling it when it means you don’t have the same spare funds to holiday/visit with them 😔

they will probably regret selling it when it means you don’t have the same spare funds to holiday/visit with them

Good grief. Are you saying not being able to go on fancy holidays means you’re too poor to visit your parents? Or are you suggesting the OP punishes her parents for not doing what SHE wants with their own property?

I actually can’t believe how many posters are indulging this nonsense.

PinkCatCushion · 04/09/2026 21:12

Yo know you don’t have to go abroad on holiday OP? Most people don’t. You will cut down on your carbon footprint too.
There are lots of reasonably priced UK holidays.
If you can’t afford a UK holiday you can have a staycation (stay at home with day trips out), we did that this year and went to local attractions that we really enjoyed. We appreciate our local area even more.

Laurmolonlabe · 04/09/2026 21:12

make the case to them, and ask them why they changed their minds about letting you manage it.
Do bear in mind though it is their money and if they would rather have the cash on depsit that's up to them- they may have their eye on a world cruise for all you know.

Blomama · 04/09/2026 21:06

Wowthatwasabigstep · 04/09/2026 15:22

Why on earth don’t they gift it to you and your brother so that it then sits outside of their estate.

You have stated that they do not need the money day to day so far more prudent to transfer ownership unless it is in France which is a whole other level of difficulty.

It is time to have the frank discussion initially with your brother and then with your parents as to inheritance planning.

What happens with second properties in France that are gifted?

Winter2020 · 04/09/2026 21:01

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 17:08

You might get a small holiday once a year for the few thousand we pay on flights (tricky in school holidays though) but definitely nothing like the same sort of holiday, I looked those up and it would be circa £15k just for the accommodation for 2 weeks.

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If the accommodation would let for such a huge amount could it be let a few months of the year to cover all the expenses?

Sadie516 · 04/09/2026 20:57

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 14:49

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

It's really upto them what they do with it, and you've had your wonderful times there, so you either start realising how expensive it really is to have 4 holidays a year, or you ask them for mates rates to buy it!

OneNewEagle · 04/09/2026 20:55

Just remember all the lovely holidays you have has for free over the years.

from now on there’s nothing wrong with camping, a static caravan or a self catering cottage in the uk. Still lovely holidays and new memories with your children.

BeWittyRobin · 04/09/2026 20:52

Self entitled much?! 🫣

You know you are being unreasonable so there is hope. It’s ok to feel sad but anything else is stepping out your lane. I’m sorry but how much they have in their bank or if they would need the money to pay for their care when older is irrelevant, it’s none of your concern. I personally would look at all the amazing holidays you have been able to have while they had their holiday home, any future holidays you were expecting to have it’s a shame but you are going to have to get over it or look at buying them out with your brother.

Loz2323 · 04/09/2026 20:52

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 14:49

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Well, it will benefit your parents won't it as will give them a nice boost to their bank account

Bollihobs · 04/09/2026 20:52

Hophaphop · 04/09/2026 18:00

Yes, but we were offering to take the work on. Would struggle on the expense, but they've never said that was an issue.

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So they'd still need to be involved, financially, even with you and DB "managing" it. That's still a burden then, a pressure I'm guessing they just don't want anymore.

I remember a Location episode where an elderly couple were selling up the big, old family home for a modern flat - the husband wanted to stay in the house, but the wife said "No, I've just had enough of it, I don't want to think about it (the house) anymore" - I think your parents have realised this is how they feel about the holiday home, they just want it gone, not to have to think about it again, not even in a limited way.

Try and just be glad for all the many, many cheap holidays it's afforded you, most of us don't ever have that let alone for 30 years.

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