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Original poster

Aibu

8 replies

madcatlady18 · 03/09/2026 20:17

I’m so upset. I have done an ancestry DNA test and discovered with the help of a search angel that my ddad is not my biological father. My ddad is in a care home with dementia and my dm passed away several years ago. Will I ever come to terms either this

OP posts:
Freshrain · 04/09/2026 00:35

Why did you do the test ?
What did you hope to get from it ?

That said, your dDad has clearly brought you up with you believing him to be your Dad. The fact he has chosen to do that, and at no point was there any question about his role makes him an even more special man than the one you thought he was, surely ?

Original poster
madcatlady18 · 04/09/2026 01:34

I did the test as I was researching my family history.

OP posts:
avignon1234 · 04/09/2026 02:16

Freshrain · 04/09/2026 00:35

Why did you do the test ?
What did you hope to get from it ?

That said, your dDad has clearly brought you up with you believing him to be your Dad. The fact he has chosen to do that, and at no point was there any question about his role makes him an even more special man than the one you thought he was, surely ?

This is right, he is still your Dad. Although it is a bit of a shock, nothing should change this, and I hope you can move on from it xxx. As an aside, and just from personal experience, someone who has done a similar DNA test, found they were related to me a generation / two generations back, and contacted me. Despite knowing how genetics work, we cannot think of anything that would cause a scenario where this would work out, and we have, collectively, and agreeably, done quite a lot of work trying to investigate, but to no avail. I am not knocking the tests, science is science, but still, it is odd ? Posting mainly to send support and love to you, but also to say "my jury" is out on these sort of tests xx

Username19893847477374 · 04/09/2026 02:31

Did your dad do the test too? How did it know he wasn't your dad otherwise?

PickyTits · 04/09/2026 03:15

Username19893847477374 · 04/09/2026 02:31

Did your dad do the test too? How did it know he wasn't your dad otherwise?

The dad wouldn't have needed to do the test - a sibling would show as half sibling as opposed to full sibling, or if any of OPs relatives on dads side didn't show up as related she would know. A dead giveaway is if no one matches with you with the same surname or anyone at all that you recognise from doing your family tree from the paternal side. It can be pretty obvious.

Username19893847477374 · 04/09/2026 03:33

But other family members need to have done the test too, right? Are you siblings half siblings, or how do you know after doing the test that your dad isn't your dad?

LarryForPrimeMinister · 04/09/2026 07:31

He may not be biologically, but he's been there your entire life. That makes him more your dad than whoever it was. I'd say forget about it and enjoy what time you have left with him.

Original poster
madcatlady18 · 04/09/2026 07:41

@avignon1234i completely agree with you. As you say science is science but sometimes it is hard to make the connection

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