Do I confess my feelings to my boss before moving to the other side of the world?

Is he married? I wouldn’t if I were you- have you heard of the saying “never shit on your door step”. Don’t do it because this work and you need to keep your work network open. If he felt the same he would’ve said it already so why would you want to boost his ego

Go to Australia, if anything is going to happen it will, maybe being at a distant may help him realise what hes lost.

It’s a very tough decision but I think for me the what ifs would kill me of if I didn’t say something especially as you feel u guys are close, the date request etc. Do it and worst case you have an escape route! Please let us know!!

Unless the offer in Australia is a big promotion/salary increase … then you’re 28 and there will be plenty of other opportunities to work abroad if you want to. Even if you need to do sonething different.

On the other hand the other hand if you’re 28 and this guy feels more special than anyone you’ve met before - I’d consider that more special than this job that happens to be in another country (and I’ve spent 20 years working abroad in two different foreign countries).

My grandfather was due to sail to Australia with the Navy the day after he met my grandma. They met at a dance and he never left the following day. If I was brave enough I’d tell him, the worst that can happen is a little embarrassment but you’re leaving anyway… or .. and I know it’s a bit fairy-tale-esque but perhaps it’s the start of a love story that will be remembered for generations 🤩❤️

He's not her line manager so presumably not the one to give her a reference

Not if he's professional (like the OP) in avoiding romantic relationships at work, particularly given he's more senior

In my opinion men that like someone would make moves he must be like a movie type man to have held of that long. My boyfriend and me met years before we got together and were just friends but we had many moments where we would start “talking” and realised it wasn’t the right time. I don’t think there was ever a time when I wondered if he liked me though I knew that and he knew the same from me. I think if your unsure honesty he probably doesn’t and you’d going to miss out on an amazing opportunity for yourself. I say to all my childless friends take every opportunity because there may come a time you can’t

reaf the book the mountain is you and think the new job it might help you more then a stranger could x

I think you should tell him (no idea how I would be shitting myself if it were me). You dont want to still be holding a torch for him if you move to Australia, it could cast a dark cloud over other potential relationships.

Ask him if he would like to go out for a meal/drink sometime and ask him back for coffee.
See if there are any fireworks 🎇, and whether or not you're sexually compatible.
Take it from there.
I'm male by the way.

Have a conversation with him. Tell him “I agree Australia is an amazing opportunity. But it’s a gigantic step. I’ve also really grown to love this job and the people I work with. I really value our friendship and feel we’ve grown closer recently which has. Been lovely. That’s a lot to give up for a six month contract. If I stay, what do you think my prospects are here, in terms of work and our friendship?”
You are not confessing romantic feelings but you’ve told him how much you value his friendship. You’ve given him an opportunity to respond in kind. If he doesn’t take it, you can both focus on the work prospects rather than the romantic prospects. As an aside, my son moved to Sydney 8 years ago knowing no one. He is having the best time and has a massive social group. It’s a wonderful place to live in your 20s. It could be the making of you. If he loved you, he’ll persuade you or pursue you.

Mmmmm a difficult situation but surely you need to decide whether or not Australia is really what you want 1st?
If he knows your going then maybe he's just a bit flirtatious and enjoys your company but that wouldn't be enough for me to risk losing such a great opportunity to start again and risk the fact that if you let him know your feelings, and its not mutual you have totally shut the door on asking for your old job back if you don't like Australia????

Hi OP.

This happened to me 20 years ago. I'm from Spain and wanted to move to the UK or Ireland just temporarily as an adventure. I was in my mid 20s at the time. A job opportunity came in the UK and decided I was taking it.
There was a guy from college I used to hang out with in Spain. I could spend hours and hours with him. He was funny, kind, interesting and unique in so many ways.
He asked me to go for coffee, we met for drinks one night and i remember that night he was saying he loved spening time with me. He invited me to his apartment a few times but i never went. I was afraid of doing/ saying the wrong thing, whatever that was. I was wondering if he would be feeling the same as me but I was really fearing rejection.
When that opportunity to travel came I really thought to meet him and tell him how I felt and say goodbye. But I didn't. It was safer. And i never saw him again.

Fast forward twenty years happily married with an Irish man, and had my kids and never came back to Spain (only on holidays). Best thing ever and wasn't in my life plan.

But twenty years later I still remember that moment and feels wrong.

Please I would suggest two things to you:

• Go to Australia. Absolutely for many reasons this is something you should do now. It's the right moment, the right age it would expand your horizon. I will never regret my decision to travel, even though I didn't expect to stay!
• Tell him. Because you will never wonder what if. Just tell him and then regardless of his response, follow your plan.

Best of luck.

Don’t play games, straight up ask him if he feels the same, if not, then you’ll be leaving for your new job and won’t have to see him again

Could you say to him that you’ve been offered a job in Oz and see what his reaction is?
If he’s delighted for you and wishes you luck and happiness, then you can take it he’s a friend.
If he’s crushed and upset, then maybe he has feelings.

Don’t play games, straight up ask him if he feels the same, if not, then you’ll be leaving for your new job and won’t have to see him again

Life is to short for regrets and you will regret not saying anything. You don't know he could be 'your person'. Having read though some comments and seeing you laughed the date off I doubt he will ever say anything to you in fear of rejection.

If it's only 6 months you could still make it work he could still come and visit. If you really are that worried about saying things out loud text him it lol.

I'm invested now telling him lol

Tell him on your next outing that this should be the date you rejected previously and take it from there. You may not be compatible in a romantic sense anyway, or it may be fireworks! If you feel this strongly you should tell him. I fell in love with my boss at 26 and we've been together 22 years now. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be!

Never, ever turn down an opportunity for professional growth in favor of a man, especially one you are not in an established relationship with.

You can tell him and still go. You might have a nice fling before you leave. Australia might not work out and you come back. You might wind up trying the LDR thing for a while. You might have completely misread the situation -- who knows?

But never, ever, ever turn down an opportunity like this for a man.

Are you trying to negotiate a sabbatical type unpaid leave to come back to your current job in six months?

If not, then the safest solution is to find a different UK job so you won't be working together and can see how being friends outside of work feels for you.

I'm a bit biased - can't conceive of why anyone (non-medical) would want to go to Australia to work. Can you talk to other UK people in Australia? What's it like? What costs will you incur moving and coming back in six months (if you do)? Is it a good career move for six months - where most of your time might be for work with a bit for sightseeing so lack of local social connections won't matter too much?

What if you stay and this does not work out, what do you do? Can you continue to work for this firm or would you need to leave?
why not go for the six months, see how it goes if he wants you he will wait.
best of luck with your decision.

Just my two cents, and I know how strong of a feeling it can be, but trust me there are more people you can potentially be with and if it doesn’t work out I feel like going to Australia is an opportunity you might never get again, whereas with partners there is always someone out there

Organise a catch up with him as friends. Tell him about your job offer. See how he reacts. Tell him how torn you are. Say you wish you had said yes to his date offer. Take it from there .. you have nothing to loose

Its better to do something and regret it than not!!!

Best not.