Do I confess my feelings to my boss before moving to the other side of the world?

Go to Australia. You’re young. If you are meant to be with him, it’ll all work out how it should.

Tell him, nothing to lose, I did and we’ve been married for years now. I did leave the company as it would have been weird otherwise. I remember those ‘are these or aren’t these dates?’ feelings. We now admit they were definitely dates. I hope it works out for you. You can still go to Australia too obviously if it’s a great and short term opportunity.

I’d go to Australia for definite. You’re never going to get that opportunity again in life. It will be easier to tell him when you’ve gone & no longer work together. He may visit. You may live your lives over there together. Keep us posted.x

You're getting some very strange, complicated advice here.

There's no either/or and no need to rush into anything.

Australia isn't the moon. It's not even strange to this man! He's lived there himself and with family in the southern hemisphere he's likely comfortable with long-haul flights.

You like him. No idea yet whether he's a potential partner, but you two get along brilliantly and he's likely to be a solid friend to you at least.

(The people telling you he's not interested clearly haven't read through the whole thread.)

If I were you, I'd go out with him as planned. Talk to him! Tell him you're excited about the job but also a bit anxious. You'll miss people at home, including him.

You can easily keep in touch: luckily, the Internet exists. Most importantly, you're both only 28, there will be lots of job changes ahead. If the two of you decide you want to pursue a relationship, you'll eventually have to figure out a way to be in the same place, but that's eminently possible. If you don't: well, a good friend is a treasure.

(To give you an idea of my own background: I've always jumped on interesting opportunities in distant places, and never once regretted it. I have solid, long-term friendships from my previous jobs. And the person who's now my husband moved from Australia to be with me.)

It isn’t the same because I wasn’t moving away, but earlier this year a colleague I worked with contract was coming to an end and he was leaving to go to another job and I would not see him again. We had really hit it off in the few months he was there.

As this approached I realised I was getting excited to go to work to see him but feeling upset when I got home the closer it got to him leaving.

We said goodbye on his last day and I was so torn, I didn’t have any idea if he liked me back so didn’t say anything but felt terrible. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

He popped back to the office a week later for some minor reason or the other, on a day he knew my other colleagues weren’t around, and I just had this feeling he was struggling to say goodbye to me or trying to suss me out, so later that night I plucked up the courage to tell him I liked him by text (with some Dutch courage).

This was 6 months ago, and we are very happily in a great relationship.

But I am a lot older than you and I also agree with other posters I am not sure at your age this would be a good decision right now. You should take the new opportunity to take the job and go live your life before settling down and giving up an opportunity like this for a man. It doesn’t have to mean you stay for the rest of your life in Australia, it’s 6 months. You could let him know you are open to future possibilities when you leave and see how he responds.

Go to Australia. I did, and it was the best decision I ever made. You can always go home if you don’t like it. Don’t give up a great opportunity for a man!

You're not conflicted about the job, you just really fancy this bloke. Do NOT give up your dreams and ambitions for a man. Not ever.

Oh my God even if he did reciprocate don't give up your ambitions and dreams for a man for fuck sake!

They're like buses, there will be another three along.

Don't Teel him how you feel. He may just be an amazing senior to work with and you get on really well. It's work he's a senior and has the upper hand. Don't blur the lines.

An opportunity to go to Australia sounds amazing. It may work out really well for you. if it doesn't, you tried it and it wasn't for you. I would think that would be the biggest regret if you didn't tale thst opportunity.

You never know who you're going to meet who will match your feelings and be a perfect fit for you.

Relationships come and go and sometimes are disappointing in real life than what is played out in the mind.

"think like a man and put yourself and your career first." she is a woman. one reason the West is in such trouble is women being strong-armed into acting like men.

I’d just ask him straight out. You’ve haven’t got anything to lose. If he’s already asked you out on a date that shows he’s interested. If he’s changed his mind you can leave the country for 6 months. Fortune favours the brave.

I think you need to do something, you'll regret it if you don't. How about saying that you've been head hunted for a job in Oz and you're very flattered but not sure what to do. At some point you can laugh and say "Would you miss me?" and then look very carefully to see what his reaction is. You have to ask outright because if he's a nice chap he could encourage you to go thinking this is what you want him to do. Good luck!

Take the job.
Don't confess your feelings.
Stay in touch as friends.
See what happens from that.

I completely agree! Life’s too short. If it’s meant to be it will be! Go for it your young and have the rest of your life! If he says no well then it’s his loss and you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. Either way just tell him. It might just be the best thing you ever did.

How does he feel about the possibility of you going to Australia? This scenario is a good test of how he feels about you.

Tell him. I'd probably message him in advance of the theatre and say something like - so all this thinking about Australia has made me think about what i want in life. I wondered whether you might want to go to the theatre on a proper date? If you'd rather just go as friends I am up for that too. I really value our relationship and don't want to mess it up. But given you asked me out before I thought I'd give it a shot in case you feel the same.

If he's up for it I would take it slow and not press on Australia for now. If you have a month to decide you can wait a couple of weeks before discussing it with him. I also agree with others that six months is nothing- if you hate it it will be done swiftly. If you love it then it will be in your hands to decide whether to stay or not. You don't have to rush into anything. I would go.

Definitely tell him!!
He asked you out on a date for goodness sake! Of course he likes you.
It will be hard adjusting and settling in Oz. It will be much much harder if you're pining after him and wishing you hadn't left and wondering what if... I think it will make it impossible for you to be happy in Oz.

I think he’s a distraction and convenient opt out because you are understandably apprehensive about a big change.

If it’s a huge opportunity, it would be a shame not to take it. You don’t have to stay there forever.

I would stop and think about this opportunity in Australia. If you find someone there and marry and have children you are stuck until your children are grown! It's for life!

In my 20s I had three massive crushes. I made it clear to each of them. One didn't go anywhere, which burned at the time, but I'm glad that I had balls enough to find out.

Oh please just have a frank conversation about it! If it goes badly, leave. If it goes well, leave or stay - he can come with you. Don't miss the chance! (Spoken as a middle-aged woman as if she has nothing to lose!)

I would try and say something like this to him.

When you asked me to go on a date with you, I was so shocked and handled it really badly by laughing, but that is what I'd like to do, if the offer still stands.

That might be more low key than 'I don't want to go live in Australia because I think we might be soulmates'

Well maybe I am weird but to me finding a relationship where you both love each other is worth more than anything else.

So I say, just tell him. Any way you can, it isnt going to make any difference if you do it well or not, by this point he already likes you or he doesnt. Nothing to lose, everything to gain

OP - if this guy is 'the one' then you will have to do far more embarrassing things in life in front of him than tell him how you feel.

If he isn't, then nothing has been lost. And if you don't take a risk, then it's just a crush.

You should go to Australia. It's easy to meet people when you're entirely new and only there for a fixed time. You would learn so much from it and it will change who you are - with lots of personal growth and adventures to bring to a life partnership.

Don't be ashamed of loving someone, and don't fear being honest about it to him. He sounds a good person and he won't think less of you for it, even if he doesn't feel the same way. And if he does feel the same way - then you have to start moving forward together. Don't keep treading water, waiting passively.

Did you feel like this about him (this intensely) before the opportunity to move across the world came up? Or has the job offer altered how much you think you like him?

Are you subconsciously hoping he'll tell you not to go/ that you can blame him for you turning down a huge opportunity?