Do I confess my feelings to my boss before moving to the other side of the world?

Exactly.

I’d known my DH for some time and we’d been hanging out when he sat me down and said: “How do you feel about me?”. I answered that I liked him.
He said he had feelings for me and wanted to date me so if I didn’t feel the we need to cool it off. I did so we do start going out.

But if I hadn’t I would have been very flattered and admired his honesty. I would also have appreciated he didn’t want to waste his own time barking up the wrong tree.

Seconded/thirded

Fear is often part of our primal brain that is entirely risk averse until in a life-threatening situation.

You can assess the real risk: very low. Six months away is nothing and as a gateway to some possibilities is well worth the discomfort.

Prepare to be on your own and confused by having some basic functions planned. Whenever I arrive somewhere unknown I find a shop with postcards and a cafe and write to people. Take a good book and you can go anywhere!

This is such bad advice. He asked her out, she turned him down, if she fucks off to Aus without saying anything he will just infer he was genuinely not interested and find himself a gf who is.

definitely tell him. He has already asked you out! And even if he has decided you’re just friends, what’s the worst that will happen? He will be flattered, you’ll have a little bit of awkwardness but you’ll go to Australia!

If you want it to be really low key, I’d go to the theatre then text him after saying something like “I had a lovely evening tonight. Do you think you could ever see us being more than friends?”. If he says “no, I think we work better as friends” then you just go “no worries, see you at work!” And pretend it never happened!

My advice woukd be, go to Australia. If he has strong feelings for you, he will kerp in touch and try to visit, especially as he has Australia connections.

If he doesn't keep in touch it wasn't right or the right time.

If Aus is a 6m contract and you can afford to go but still have somewhere to live when you come back, then go even if you have qualms. Being able to put it on your CV makes you memorable even if it doesn't work out long term. And it might just be amazing.

Go to Australia. Obviously, you are torn because it's a daunting prospect. You will do fine. You will grow. I don't think it's allowed to be introverted in Australia, so you could find a new side of yourself over there. Then, maybe, drop him a line to catch up .......

Nah I would just leave and don’t look back. It’s such a good opportunity and maybe part of you is scared and looking for a way out. There’ll be other fish in the sea over there!

Very late to this thread, but tell him.
In my first job, I really liked someone a tiny bit older than me - he’d actually been the year above me at university and we had a couple of friends in common. He left to go to a job in Hong Kong. I was designated driver for his leaving do. He asked me why I wasn’t going with him! I said it was because he’d never asked. With more than 48 hours notice, I probably would have .

Tell him you will miss him as you really enjoy his company and that he is welcome to visit.
Leave the ball in his court.

If Australia is fleeting and you return you can always ask his assistance in finding a job. This will be possible if he has not rejected your deep declarations of love.

He aha te mea nui o te ao
What is the most important thing in the world?
He tangata, he tangata, he tangata
It is the people, it is the people, it is the people
A Māori proverb since he's a Kiwi bloke. Tell him! I think you would always regret it if you don't.

If hes single i would tell him. You have nothing to lose. Tell him of the offer, say its an exciting opp , mention how much you will miss him, tell /ask him I may have got this wrong but ... ??? If he reciprocates stay in touch, if he doesnt go freely knowing you said it!
However, Dont have a 'goodbye shag' that is him taking the opportunity and will mess up your life in Oz

I initiated the conversation about feelings with my last boyfriend. He is now my husband. I have previously initiated a conversation where my friend did not reciprocate, but was flattered. It is not embarrassing to admit your feelings for someone if they don’t reciprocate - it’s always nice to hear someone likes you. There is nothing wrong with the genuinely amazing men I am friends with, they just aren’t my cup of tea. My husband is. In the same way, if you tell him you have feelings for him and he doesn’t reciprocate, that’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just not his cup of tea. No big deal.

You could say something along the lines of, I really enjoy your friendship and if I am honest I would love to be more than friends with you, and I wondered if you felt the same?

This… he asked you on a date before and you socialise outside of work I can’t see the dilemma at all

I think you should tell him because you are going to Australia.
If he feels the same, you can stay in touch and pick up in 6 months if you both feel the same when you get back.
If you decide that you don’t want to come back - you can still stay in touch but won’t have lost a friendship.
Don’t let this opportunity in your 20’s pass you by.

Tell him. But still go to Australia. If it’s meant to be it will work out and you will have lost nothing at all. If he doesn’t feel the same back, you will have also lost nothing at all really, except maybe a bit of dignity, but reframe that as being brave and shooting your shot. You have very little to lose here and lots to potentially gain.

Don’t turn down an opportunity for what ifs. If you’ve been skirting round each other for a while and no one has made a move or made their feelings known then in all likelihood it not the epic romance that you would stay behind for. Live your life and if he slots in then great.

Does he know that you may be leaving the country? If he does,and hasn't made a move,then,I think you have your answer.....If you haven't, then tell him,and frame it as you're asking his advice on whether to accept or not. In either scenario, I think you'll have a better idea of where you stand with him.

I think you’ve really romanticised the situation - unconfessed love, do I move across the world or stay for this man etc. I think most likely things would have progressed if he was really interested in you - not that you don’t have a spark or connection, but i think it’s unlikely you both confess your feelings and fall in love here.

Personally I’d really try and separate whether you want to take the Australia job from your feelings from this man. They should be totally separate. Go if you want to, but absolutely don’t stay in the hope something could happen with him. Good luck!!

Hopefully you will blend right in .. if you have a sense of humour and a bit of banter, Aussies love it and you'll have no issues. They are a friendly bunch so if you do go, I hope you enjoy it.

On the relationship matter, as someone mentioned, find a light way to drop a hint about how you feel, if he feels the same, hopefully something comes out of it. If he doesn't, look forward to a new adventure. As another also mentioned, make sure he's definitely single first! Otherwise it could end in tears.

Good luck with whatever you decide 💖

Your options are: a real job in a place where lots of people thrive and love living

or

Hope of an unknown relationship and limited job opportunities (?)

Either can go wrong at any time but one will challenge you and allow you to broaden your world and experiences. The other is a relationship that may come to fruition in a million ways. If he’s a good ’un maybe he’ll move to Australia too!

Look at women you know who are 20 years older. What do they consider as wise priorities for someone your age? You’ll be there one day and look back and say: I wish I’d taken that life-altering opportunity because I could always have come back if need be.

Explore the world beyond your your comfort zone — it’s where the excitement lives

Get a bit drunk at the interval and go for a snog. If he’s keen, he will be delighted. If he’s not, ah well you were a bit pissed and it won’t be awkward for long as you can move to Australia.

It’s the British way.

I would keep it as a friendship.
Ask him of he will keep in touch or like to holiday in Australia if it all works out with the job.
Most Uk women find Aussie males more easy going and relaxed so who knows who you may meet.

Does he know you've been offered a job in Oz? You could always say something like "I'm going to really miss you believe it or not" then he will have an idea as to your potential feelings and will have a chance to reciprocate or alternatively say something to encourage you to go.

Life is too short. Seriously. Just ask him on a date.

(my DP is a kiwi who lived in Australia, and he took a punt on me. He’s awesome and I am so happy to have him in my life.)

Ooh tricky and only you can choose BUT I'd explain and tell him everything, perhaps he feels the same way but won't make the first mpove as you've got this fb job offer?

PLEASE keep us posted xxx