Don’t want my 16 year old here anymore.

I understood =)

Definitely phone the police next time he is violent and let them come and speak with him. Tell them you are scared and your younger children need protecting.
I Would phone the bank and find out how to stop him using your account for his gaming, or anything else. All banks have a safeguarding team.
There is supervised accommodation available, for 16 year olds, which I think is your answer here. The police can refer you to social services and get the ball rolling.
I would contact the school of your younger children and explain the situation. They can involve multi agencies to help you. Your younger children are very vulnerable.
i wish you all the very best. Start tomorrow and focus on yourself and your other children. Your son is under 18, but he needs to understand that enough is enough and his actions have consequences.

How utterly ridiculous about the toddler. Can't you see the difference between a three year old and a sixteen year old?

The strength?

Since it needs pointing out, one of them is small and if absolutely necessary, can be gently restrained physically. The other can smash things up, including parent and siblings, and the only answer is the police.

The OP has been to Social Services, has been to parenting classes, has tried to put parenting strategies in place.

Any other suggestions? Preferably intelligent ones that don't re-repeat what the OP has already stated she's tried?

Perhaps if you feel sorry enough for the boy, you could offer to take him in. A strong external mentor can often help a difficult teen a great deal - you'd be ideal, I'm sure.

OP has tried all of those except calling the police out on him - she's attended parenting courses, and despite contacting Social Services in the past they've done nothing. She's tried communicating to work on the relationship, but he won't respond. This has been going on for 6 years and escalating whatever she tries to do, when does the line get drawn?

Not every child or young adult who misbehaves does so because of a parenting failure. The influence of their peers and things they read on the internet can overcome that upbringing especially in these social media filled days.

Would you advocate that at other ages too? Should parents get rid of a toddler that's biting siblings? Or, should they perhaps look for ways to support all the children.

I feel sorry for this boy. I suspect he knows he isn't wanted. How can anyone expect his behaviour to change when he's sitting with that?

My suggestion is that parents don't get to opt out of parenting their children. Everyone here us very keen to blame this child for the family difficulties, but he's a child responding to the situation he's in.

In terms of what else there is to do? Use the police for support. Refer to early help teams with social services. Ideally try to join a course on PACE-based parenting. Work actively on the relationship. Ask social services to refer to a family group conference team to see who can support.

What I don't believe parents can ethically do is walk away from their child.

Safety of the many outnumbers the wants of the few.

He may in the eyes of the law be a child, but he's not far off being an adult and OP has younger children she also has to care for. Does his "right" as a member of the family over rule the rights of the other children to a safe, violence free upbringing?

What's your suggestion - let him stay until he injures or kills one of the siblings? Keep watching everything you care for, all your belongings and that of the other children, be destroyed because you didn't pander to his desires? Be open to being assaulted yourself, just because you couldn't afford to pay for everything he's demanding?

To be part of a family, you should recognise that others have rights and needs. Being abusive either verbally or physically if you aren't put first all the time isn't the actions of a family member, it's the actions of a despot and in my mind should give up the rights of family.

He's a young man as well as a child, and the OP has younger children at home who are being bullied.

Do you have any solutions for her? Given that she's had parenting courses and tried to set boundaries and consequences, and he's still behaving as badly as before?

OP, you have done what you can.

You absolutely have a responsibility to your other children, to provide them with a peaceful home.

You do not owe him your other childrens childhood.

You need to do whatever it takes to get him out of your home.

He rules that house and he knows it.
Involve the police.

Tell them he is hurting his siblings and you.
MN is full of posters that will excuse the very worst of male violence, from a brother, husband, father, uncle, grandfather and son.

It is a continuous theme.
Once any man lays hands on a woman, the relationship is broken and all bets are off.

He wouldn't be doing it if you were a 6ft man well able for him.

Get him out, and let him bear the consequences of his years of abuse of you.
You and your other children are entitled to peace.

Family members can be violent and dangerous.

I don’t want him here anymore. What do I do?

He’s sixteen, and old enough to live on his own. Next time he’s out, change the locks, put his stuff outside. If he makes trouble call the police as he’s trespassing.

If you don’t want him, that’s what to do.

He's a child, and a member of her family.

OP needs to protect her family and herself from a young man in the family home who is physically and mental abusive and inflicting criminal damage in the home. And that means he needs to be removed from the home

'It’s not “surrendering him”. It’s abandonment'

Better abandon younger siblings, plural?

And what about the other children? He's already being dangerously violent to his brothers, if that continues to escalate he's going to severely injure or even kill one of them eventually.

He's clearly been influenced by his friend, his father or by the sites he's been reading on line. How would you suggest the OP get's stronger in her parenting skills when he completely ignores everything she says and any kind of sanctions she puts in place lead to incidents like the one described - I'd love to hear what your solution for this large, physically almost adult, male would be.

Attitudes like this are the reason so many mothers are killed by their adult sons. They were told, over and over again, that they "couldn't abandon" their sons, and that they were "vulnerable". That, even in the face of violent and dangerous men, they still had to put themselves last.

I thought you said he was nurturing and loved his sister? Doesn’t sound like it if he’s charging round the house yelling and deliberately disturbing their sleep.

You cannot bail on him. He’s your son. I just cannot imagine what abandoning him now would do to him. It’s such a vulnerable time of his life and you need to follow some of the other posters’ advice and get stronger in your parenting skills. You’ve made so many mistakes already, don’t compound it by kicking him out.

It’s not “surrendering him”. It’s abandonment.

?

Er .... very few people who are dangerously out of control and violent fit the criteria for being sectioned.

Maybe look into how the process works, because it really isn't the way you think it is.

But he'd have to be a danger due to severe mental health problems.

Not because he just won't behave.

I agree, OP needs support and this may involve him moving out to ensure the safety of her and the younger ones. But sectioning is not going to be a helpful route. She's having enough problems getting social services to even recognise that his behaviour is a problem.

The idea of it reminds me of that episode of peep show where everyone is trying to get everyone else sectioned - and the Dr is having none of it, because it's not appropriate.

Surely if he’s out of control and violent, a danger to others he could be?

Good god @LittleMissFooled if you really think the OP could get her son sectioned, try finding out how the process functions. It just does not work like that. You'd be laughed out of the shop, politely of course.

Op this is probably a useless suggestion but is your ds physically confident and active? if so, could you get him interested in joining the forces?