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Would you find this a red flag in a new partner?

55 replies

Cryinglightning45 · 31/08/2026 06:39

Agreed to a day trip to see some of his friends who live a couple of hours away, then he was supposed to stay at mine that night.
Very early start, the plan for the day sounded vague but I said it'd be nice to meet his friends.
I just mentioned to him "You don't think we'll be back super late in the evening do you? Just as I've got work early the next morning (start at 06:30) and might just need to get a couple of bits ready.

He looked a bit annoyed when I said that, and said 'stop worrying, I don't think we will but I don't know what the plan is' and sort of rolled his eyes.
I replied 'no worries, I'm just asking'.
I'm not trying to be a killjoy or say we must leave incredibly early, but I don't think it's a big deal for an adult to want to have a vague idea of timings especially working the next day. I didn't appreciate his response.

OP posts:
Cryinglightning45 · 31/08/2026 06:47

It's how he made out like i was stressing and worrying, i literally just asked the question.

OP posts:
Cryinglightning45 · 31/08/2026 06:46

True..
Whether he 'knows what the plan is' or not, i don't think I'm out of order to want to agree on a reasonable time to leave? Especially as we'll be with his mates from around 08:30am in the morning.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 31/08/2026 06:45

He's not very considerate is he ! It's a perfectly reasonable question. If you need to be up at 5.30 for a working day, you need to be home at a reasonable hour.

I'd work out the timings now, and say you need to leave by ?pm so there is no disagreement on the day. Will you be reliant on him for getting home?

Premierinnsleep · 31/08/2026 06:44

Firstly… if you’re asking the question… it’s dead in the water no matter the answer.

Secondly… anyone roll their eyes at me for this when they barely know me? No. Way. Would I see them again

Sadly I suspect… you will though

Kidsandhouse · 31/08/2026 06:42

You said..."You don't think we'll be back super late in the evening do you"

When you should have said
"I want to be back for 9pm" or whatever time you want to be back for.

But yes, yanbu, he sounds flaky and selfish

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