Husband leaving again after daughter's death and I cannot cope

I agree with all the other posters who have suggested phoning the samaritans or a berievement charity. It is good you have reached out on here. I also agree that if you felt able to reach out to old friends or any parents of ds friends thats a good call too.
I am very sorry your daughter died and that yoir 'partner' is such a cruel man. You will be better off without him and you are not respomsible for his relationship with ds, he is so dont let him hold that above your head.

Please contact the old friends i promise they will want to hear from you.

This ☝️
Find your anger.

Your dad was an abusive alcoholic and this husband sounds like another abusive prick.

He's scum.
Find your anger.
Find your balls and tell him yo fuck off back to the other woman.

No one, I repeat NO ONE gets to say you cannot cry.
Heartless bastard he is. @Newnamenewname26

This 💯.

I am so sorry for what you are going through op. A previous friend, an acquaintance, the Samaritans. And keep talking here too.

There are so many people irl who would want to help and support you, you just need to reach out. Perhaps start with Samaritans. You are not alone. We are all here to listen. It will get better just one day at a time.

I'm so sorry to hear this OP 😔
I'm sorry for your loss of your DD 💔

Please contact your GP
as well the samaritans
A bereavement service
Church group if that helps you ✝️

Please reach out to people IRL whether it be:
Old friends
Old work mates
Old family members like a cousin or aunt etc. 🙏

Are you in touch with any of your daughters Old pals from school/uni/work/fave hobby at all?

Please don't do this alone. 🫂

As for the husband, I would not let him move back in.
I would get your self sorted with the GP and your support network. Look after yourself first and your DS. 💯

Then get your ducks in a row and think long term if you want to remain in that house /area for your son, or if it would be better to sell up and move back to your old town (if you gave friends or support there maybe?
Husband is not in your camp. 😠

He may be linked to you via your children, but you do not have to remain married to a man who does not prioritise you

Please look after yourself and post on here if it helps you OP @Newnamenewname26

Sending hugs 💐

He’s horrible and I would tell him to leave now. Take control of this because it’s time you finally stop being bullied.

I’m sorry but he doesn’t care about your son if he says he “won’t be in contact for a long time” if you cry.

he doesn’t get to shit on your world and then tell you how you can and can’t react.

Find your anger.

I bet your daughter would tell you thr same thing. Do it for her if not for you. Stand up to this worthless piece of shit. And show your son we do not tolerate abusers.

Id tell him “you need to leave now. I hope you stay in contact regarding your son for your son’s sake, it would be sad if he realised what a bastard you are. But it’s ultimately up to you. Pack your bags and fuck off”.

Honey you do NOT need this scumball around. He’s only staying two weeks more because he’s waiting for something to click with the other woman. Eg, a tenancy with her to begin. And yes, there is another woman this time too, make no mistake.

You are incredibly strong op. You can do this. Time to stop him dictating any more of your life.

I am so sorry about your DD. I lost a friend to suicide and it broke me so I cannot imagine losing my child.

You do need to talk to someone. The bereavement charities mentioned above will likely understand more about DDs death than Samaritans, but they're there for an emergency. Your DS needs you. You are his whole world ❤️

Sending lots of love and hugs x

My goodness, you’ve been through too much. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I can imagine how much you miss your DD.

if I were one if your historic friends in this situation, I’d be round to yours with a hug and a listening ear immediately, no matter how much time and distance there’d been.

please call one of your former friends. Or send a message to a few.

and reach out to Samaritans. They are wonderful for listening and getting you through the next little while.

I’m really sorry to hear about your DD. Please reach out to the Samaritans x

If you feel you can’t care for DS right now, would his dad not take him full time?

He moves out . Covid comes . Dd 19 dies by suicide . I am broken . He comes back .

It sounds like he only moved back in because of DDs death and so it was reasonable that he would move back out.

You need to separate him and your DD.

Whether he is there or not, it won’t bring your DD back and frankly I’d rather be without someone who doesn’t want to be with me.

You need professional help, so does DS.

I cannot even begin to imagine what it’s like losing a child but to lose one by suicide must be extra awful.

Forget about DH and focus on yourself and son.

Is it just you and DS at home?

Thinking of you OP xx You will survive this, because you have to for DS sake. You can do it. You've survived the worst possible scenario and still been a good Mum to DS. You can keep going. Sending you positive thoughts...

116 123 is the number for Samaritans who help people who feel they can't go on. It is free of charge from your mobile. They are very kind please call them. You have been through so much.

I am so sorry for your loss. Even really strong relationships struggle to survive the death of a child.

There is some good advise from previous posters. Take each day at a time. Your grief will never go away but as time passes you will rebuild your life around it for you and your son.

I am so so sorry for all you’ve been through @Newnamenewname26 it is truly heartbreaking.

I really think you should ring the Samaritans. They are a wonderful service. I rang them once at my lowest ebb and it really did help.

I really think you need someone to speak to about this extreme level of pain. It won’t make it go away but there is something about having pain witnessed by someone else that does help a little.

Withdrawing in that level of grief is perfectly normal. Many people need to do that in order for them to develop the capacity to carry that much before they can function in any way in relationships.

I think maybe first start with a bereavement charity and get to meet others who get you and what you are experiencing. Over time you can reach out to people you knew before but it is probably too soon for that yet.

My cousin who I had barely spoken to in 20 years (not due to any particular reason only we have an enormous family and life had moved on) got in touch with me when she lost her son through suicide during Covid.

We have been in touch every day for 5 years since then and speak all of the time.

She has found a path through the molasses of this type of grief and loss. You will too. She had the world’s most shit husband too which like your situation made it very difficult but she did it.

Please call Samaritans or pray and ask for guidance. You don’t have to believe or be religious. Just please ask. You are so not alone. 🌷🌷

OP please talk to one of the organisations suggested above by other posters.

You have no choice but to keep trying to survive, and you can. Even just a day at a time. Keep posting on here. Tell us about your children.

I’m sorry for your loss. Talk to the Samaritans.

It might be worth going to your gp for some short term anti depressants to get you over the hump of things.

Would it be possible to take some time off work and go get some sunshine somewhere?Just you and your boy.

Please do not take this “man” back for a fourth time. Not ever again.
Sometimes life keeps giving us the same lesson until we learn it. This man should never have been taken back after his first betrayal. He will never put his family first.

Put your needs first and take some rest. Be kind to yourself.

Hello New Name,

Sending hugs and solidarity.

I know the impact of losing a beloved child to suicide as my DS took his own life 6 years ago. It was like a grenade going off in the centre of my family. My Dd was 17 and went off the rails and my Dh withdrew.

Please contact TCF (The Compassionate Friends) and or SoBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide). They have both provided lifelines to me and helped me to realise that I am not alone in this terrible situation.

Sending you strength and love at such a difficult time xx

I’m so sorry, this is a lot. As per previous PP the worst has already happened and you’ve survived it. I think you are stronger than you know. Your husband has treated you appallingly for years .
my Dsis died by suicide I know the complicated emotions it brings, particularly guilt. Please reach out to someone xx

honestly pick up the phone. Or message.

people will understand. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but they will.