Where do I start when everything in life needs changing?

I kind of went into a bit of a fug like this during a relocation abroad and then almost immediately covid happened - so none of the things I planned could happen ( I’m married 30 years) we came back after2 years and I had piled on 2 stone and was 5 stone overweight - I realised I was eating because I was feeling down and bored and realised that I needed to have stuff to hand to nibble on that didn’t make me feel deprived but wouldn’t make the situation worst - so I cooked up and sliced up 3 days worth ata time of melon, hard boiled eggs, cucumber and tomatoes with a bit of balsamic, cheap packs of prawns , kept in lots of Greek yoghurt, basically had stuff at hand without resorting to biscuits or crisps -I printed myself a routine for 2 lots of 15 minutes a day ( as was totally unfit) 15 mins of stretching exercises I got online - arms, neck, legs, all quite simple , 15 minutes of dancing to music energetically ! Gradually changed it round to a bit of t’ai chi , some deep breathing exercises on bed - all are easy but help calm that ‘inner head’ without anyone else watching , progress to the pool maybe a couple of times a week - it’s about doing the things you can change and quickly, rather than the things that aren’t instantly changeable - it can be hard if you live rurally - but I think if you feel better in yourself you find it’s often a bit easier to make decisions . Dont think of anything as diet and excercise, just think of it as changing habits - I found that really useful and yes I did get fitter and lost weight and didn’t feel deprived .

This could have been me who posted this! I will hit the watch option, as I would be glad to see what others ideas and advice is.

But not jumping on your post of course, so yeah similar issues a few differences, as I have one child.

I agree with a couple of responses I read quickly about joining something exercise based, as it will help with your goals of getting/keeping fit, and getting exercise, and you will be around others, who you can relate to, and might make friends.

I think it adds to things if you are working remotely, as you are then not out and about daily to get to work, and having work colleagues the same as in a non remote job. Are you thinking to change to something non remote then?

Clothing etc wise, this was me exactly today. Most of where I live everyone in hot weather been in nice dresses or vest tops and some sort of bottoms or shorts or skirt.
Me I have gone between just getting by, with some very difficult situations going on in the background. And not spending the time or sometimes having the mood or motivation to look for other better clothing, that I will feel good/attractive/feminine in.
So have just rotated what I have throughout these months, and that has been T-shirts and bottoms, oversized swamped, and not helping me look less fat.

I would say look at what you do currently hair, face body wise, and build from there.
So even if you haven’t been doing much, cleanse and moisturise day and night, remembering sunscreen, eye cream, get products that suit your skin/concerns.
Do you like makeup? You could do minimal mascara, tidy brows with a pencil that comes with the little brush and a bit of pencil to define. Bit of blush and a tinted balm etc.

Body again cleansing and exfoliating. Weekly scrub. Keep nails neat on hands and feet, if you don’t mind varnish then put a nudey every day colour, or whatever you like.

Hair I know what you mean I have mine tied up permanently lol.
Constantly in the battle of washing it, greasy again, brushes make it worse. And just scraped back.

Depending on style then dry it and use styling products accordingly. When you get it cut ask them to help with tips to maintain it inbetween.

Id try weight loss injections if I were you, you sound like the perfect candidate. The cost will easily be offset in much much lower food bills. Once the weight starts dropping off you'll have the energy and self confidence to sort the rest. Just make sure you bring in exercise as soon as you can so you dont lose muscle.

I crave both peace and quiet and a busy life full of people. I am full of contradictions.

I have no local friends, just a few acquaintances who I rarely see.

I am highly likely autistic but do not want a diagnosis as I love travel.

I work remotely which doesn't help.

I jump from hobby to hobby, job to job with no staying power.

Im a procrastinstor and often spend days just watching TV series. Im decisioned out.

All that's possibly saying ADHD to me rather than autism. I'm no diagnostic expert but I have one kid with each (and one with both).

The overeating might be part and parcel of that, according to DD.

Thanks for sharing. Then tackle the food because that is always the biggest factor in losing weight. You have to start eating better and that will help with some of the inflammation. If you could afford it get a personal.trainer who can look sf your food guide tou correctly and then work with you on exercise to help you.

It will be hard but once tou habe got started and are consistent you will feel better.

Im not one to normally suggest it but maybe even taking those weight loss drugs could help you but obviously something to discuss with your doctor and its your decision. I know people who had similar issues do really well.

Is there a swimming pool you could get to? I think a swim once a week would be good for you and it's unlikely to make any bodily problems worse.

Looking at what changes you think you want to make some sre obviously more longer term then others. So start there, decide which aren't the quick wins and will take longer and park them to deal with later.

Start with what you can do now, seems like a good idea might be focusing on yourself you don't talk about yourself in a positive way. Losing weight is something you can start straight away and as you start seeing results will help your self esteem. Go get your hair cut. Then introduce doing your nails. You don't need to do it all at once otherwise its overwhelming.

Figure out why your body is in pain so then you can start doing the right exercise to support you. Ideally you should be focusing on weights to help build good muscle mass.

I think if I were in your situation, I would start with a local active hobby. Depending on what you like, local to me that might be an exercise class, something like netball or football, or a walking group.
That would be enough for me to start with, as I know it's hard to keep up a hobby, but would give you a bit of exercise, a little bit of social time without the pressure of being conversation driven, and hopefully some endorphins.

I would also book myself some travel somewhere as something to look forward to.

But what step feels the least scary to start with?

Start now. Find a 30 min exercise class on you tube and do it.

then come back and read comments!

do an exercise class every day /m- you’ll feel infinitely better for it