Where do I start when everything in life needs changing?

Are you entitled to help from NHS with weight loss medication? This would help in many of the areas where you’re struggling.

could you find it yourself if you’re not eligible?

as one who lost 6stone these last 2 years, my life is transformed. Mobility, mood, overall energy

I have friends too who said they were far more hireable having lost the weight

yeah I know it shouldn’t make a difference, but it does.

the fact that you put this as your number one, seems to me to be one that you can do something about, one that does really impact on many areas of your life, so might be a good one to start with.

you can fix a lot of things but it’s easier to start with one thing at a time

you can change your life.

Another vote for ADHD. I am diagnosed and share a lot of these traits.
Im not sure what you mean about countries eg US not welcoming neurodivergent people? How would they know ?

Have you considered an ADHD diagnosis to access then medication for this. Multiple things in your OP suggest inattentive adhd to me. For me WLJ did work but only with a focus on eating higher protein, more veg, exercise daily and counting every calorie. My DD started stimulant meds for adhd it’s really interesting it’s like a switch goes off in her mind 30-40mins are taking them. Side effect is reduced appetite for grazing/snacking for that dopamine hit. Do look at the inattentive type it’s not just naughty boys who can’t sit still and is so so misdiagnosed in females. Good luck making small changes anything will help.

I think when you're in a fug like this, a change of scene can work miracles. Can you book somewhere cheap for as long as possible? A caravan for 3 weeks? Or 2 caravans in 2 different locations? It helps so so much to get a fresh perspective and lift you out of the rut.

^ This is a great post; sensible and do-able!

Op I I know that jobs aren’t easy to come by in rural areas but if you could get a very pt role in a village shop, farm shop, a garden centre or plant nursery, animal shelter, kennels, tourist centre, you could make some extra money, get to know more locals, move more, and you are away from the fridge and food temptations, even if it’s just a couple of hours a week, or even volunteering.

Although it would be hard and sounds counter-intuitive when you are already overwhelmed, it could give you more structure and solve quite a few things at once.

If that sounds physically a bit too much atm then I would start at the gps and focus on one or two things; health, weight loss, mindset. Very gradually and slowly and build up with a bit of exercise. A lot of surgeries have programmes you can join now. And some support therapy generally for ND struggles might help?

In terms of loneliness, is there a local choir near you?

Or could you acquire an animal if you like them? Animals tend to bring good people in to your life.

Leslie Sansome on YT is good for upping your steps.

And there are lots of trainers on YT who specialise in people who haven’t exercised in a while and build up slowly.

I think many more women than admit to it, feel how you do post-meno, especially when responsible for elderly parents. They just aren’t as honest as you. And btw meno can make ND traits more pronounced so please don’t blame yourself. You are wired differently that’s all. I don’t have any medical qualifications at all but I have a dd with asd and the contradictions you describe could fit au-adhd so it might not be a waste of time putting yourself down for an assessment?

As for procrastination, time-blocking and advance planning help my ND daughter. Get yourself a daily planner with times on it, and on a Sunday, mark out your priorities for the week ahead. Every day block out two hours for your priority that day and stick to it. Build in exercise and meal prep. Things don’t drag on and become boring if you encase them in a block of time, in fact you get them done quicker bc you have to stop on time too.

Remember to block in time for leisure and fun too. Just a suggestion but maybe you could give yourself one or two half days which you keep for yourself; say a Tuesday and Sunday afternoon when you can give yourself permission to isolate, bed rot, do something fun or creative, read and watch tv, and those protected periods of down time, might give you more strength for the rest of the week? It would be something to look forward to as well.

HTH, you sound like a really good person to me, very honest, with good insight in to what needs to be done but you perhaps need support with the executive functioning side of it. With that I think it helps to know that any small step forward however tiny is better than nothing and motivation comes from tiny steps. Also that you deserve a nicer life with less struggle.

GL 💐💐💐

Did you get to the higher amount so 12 mg / 15 mg
It only properly started working for me then
I also calorie count using NHS weight loss app

How about joining a slimming club, that would help with weight and they are quite sociable if u want some interaction- nothing too serious. In fact, i met one of my best mates at Weight Watchers. We have known each other years. We go on holiday together. I didn't have a relationship till I was 45. I've had 2 so far. Am currently single.

I was wondering when you last visited a GP, because you may moving towards the risk of Type 2 diabetes. Perhaps it might be worth asking if they can do a blood test to find out, and they can check your cholesterol levels as well. They may also give you information about eating habits and lifestyle changes. It's not like a 'normal' calorie-controlled diet / exercise regime. Our GP surgery runs something called a diabetes prevention programme which I went on, and it was great.

havent read through all the comments, but for what it’s worth I’d start with the job.

Working remotely works for some people but can be awful for most people’s mental health and well being.

id try and find work that sociable and also involves physical movement as opposed to sitting at a desk. Supermarket work, bar / restaurant/ cafe work etc.

You’d exercise your body and meet new people, have options for a social life.

Good luck