My partner misses the odd teeth clean. I find this gross. Aibu?

31 replies

Isthisgross · 16/08/2026 19:17

My husband will “forget” to clean his teeth every now and again. He didn’t this morning, he sometimes won’t at night. Maybe once a month I notice? If I bring it up, we fight.

But I think it’s disgusting. He’s in his 50s. He is one of those people who thinks he’s immune to any kind of illness or bad thing to happen. I think he needs to go and get a hygiene clean from the dentist (in the 20 years we’ve been together, he’s never done this). His gums occasionally bleed, but I don’t watch him clean his teeth often!! Because I don’t want to! So don’t know how often they bleed.

Anyway. Aibu to find this gross?

OP posts:

maxslice · 19/08/2026 04:25

My husband neglected his teeth for at least two decades. We have separate health insurance that covers dental checkups and cleanings. He still wouldn’t go. When I finally got him to see the dentist (who volunteers at a meth clinic) said DH’s teeth were the WORST he’d ever seen. They should all be pulled out. Infected teeth and/or gums can create systemic infections or sepsis and affect your heart.

My husband has never been back to see the dentist or have his teeth out. I do NOT kiss him. So, as must be obvious, I also have strong feelings about dental hygiene.

OP, see if you can book dental appointments back to back and go with him. Best of luck to you.

MissSold · 19/08/2026 05:57

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 16/08/2026 21:18

But how can you kiss him if he hasn't brushed his teeth?

I kiss my husband several times a day time so it would be a deal breaker for me.

Exactly this. My now ex partner would go all day without brushing his teeth 🤢 then had the audacity to complain I didn’t kiss him.

Steeleydan · 19/08/2026 15:08

Isthisgross · 16/08/2026 21:58

In general he also doesn’t have great hygiene. Doesn’t shower daily, spends all his time on his phone and not exercising. He’s naturally slim and naturally good at athletics so he “gets away with it” and is from quite a posh family so he doesn’t look terrible although his own mother often calls him “scruffy”. He also doesn’t care about dirt and mess.

But I am from a very neat freak family, have a too-good sense of smell, and I hate it. I also hate that I am the one cleaning all the time!

I don’t know what to do about it because he resents me and we fight if I mention anything!

You need to suggest he visits the dental hygienest for root plaining, it's basically a very very thorough clean down to the roots, tightens up receeding gums,stops bleeding gums bad breath the lot

DraigCymraeg · 05/09/2026 14:48

SilverPink · 17/08/2026 09:24

I’d be more grossed out by someone not showering every day than forgetting to clean their teeth once in a while

His breath smells!
Hell it matters.

Badbadbunny · 05/09/2026 15:12

Back in the day, I gave an ultimatum to one of my first boyfriends that if he didn't brush his teeth regularly, he'd not be getting kissed at all, and if it continued, he'd be an ex-boyfriend pretty sharpish. It cured him!! Now been together 39 years and he's got excellent oral hygiene and very few fillings!

Chockachip · 05/09/2026 15:13

My ex used to only brush his teeth in the morning. Once a day. They were yellow.

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