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Seeing my brother’s best friend again after unresolved feelings 15 years ago.

3 replies

situationalmessiness · Yesterday 12:05

My brothers best friend since childhood and I had fairly strong feelings for eachother years ago. We did have the odd sneaky kiss ect.. but we knew it could never work because it wouldn’t be fair on my brother. He moved away shortly after and I haven’t seen him in over 15 years..

Tomorrow we’re going to my brothers for a BBQ and he’s going to be there. I’m happily married with children however I feel really anxious about going and seeing him. The last time we saw eachother we were fairly young and it was left on some unresolved feelings. I’m worried that seeing him is going to bring up old feelings. He crosses my mind sometimes and I often wonder how it would have been different if we’d both just told the truth and been honest with my brother. He doesn’t know to this day about any of it. They’re really close and always have been and I know my brother would be really hurt as we’ve always had a good relationship and he would include me in everything as kids, but made it quite clear his friends were off limits.

I just need someone to wish me luck 🤣

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something2say · Yesterday 12:25

Hi, I too wonder why it wouldn't have been fair on your brother?

BUT you are married now, as you say, and you will be respectful to that I am sure.

I wonder if all this build up and the years of odd thinking, I wonder?? Tomorrow it may be changed forever, as he may reveal himself in adulthood to be not the man for you after all? Then you can close the door.

SirChenjins · Yesterday 12:11

Good luck - but why wouldn't it have been fair on your brother?!

PlantBased11 · Yesterday 12:10

Good luck! I had a very similar situation - although we met up once after a break of a year or so, following years of flirtation in late teens, and we slept together. I saw him unexpectedly last year after about 10 years of not seeing him. Honestly it was fine, much better than I thought. Doesn't hurt that he had aged badly (bless him) but was more like seeing an old friend than anything, I still feel affectionate towards him but we both have moved on

Good luck again!