Neighbour on night shifts complaining about normal daytime noise during holidays

Absolutely this. The individualistic mindset some people have is frightening.

I used to work nights. The fact is, MOST people operate MOST of their life during the day. You can't expect everyone to stop what they're doing just to work around you! Especially when you've chosen to operate unusually, rather than them! I might have felt slightly irked if something like DIY woke me up during the day but I fully accepted that that was part and parcel of night work!

Snoring friend leant me a pair of £30 earplugs on holiday from Amazon and I couldn’t hear a thing. Could you get him a pair of those?

He sounds an entitled nasty piece of work and his night shifts are not your problem. Agree other posts to speak to the neighbour/landlord.

You need to live your lives with normal every day noise.

Tell him to invest in some ear plugs! you can’t stop living your life to accommodate his hours, it doesn’t sound as if you are excessively noisy so ignore him.

I’d be telling him to grow the fuck up and get ear plugs, a white noise machine and an eye mask like everyone else who works nights.

Don’t entertain this at all, and make sure that your partner isn’t either.

Just a brisk “Mate, it’s normal daytime noise. If you want to sleep in the day you’ll need to get some earplugs”. Don’t apologise, don’t try to stay silent for him, don’t change how you live.

If it’s causing issues locally consider reporting him for harassment (or threatening to) and if it’s causing issues in work consider reporting it to HR/management.

But basically don’t change a thing, don’t apologise, and don’t behave as though this is your problem to solve or he will never stop moaning at you!

Definitely do not stop living your life because this idiot can’t sort himself out for his night shifts. He needs to learn how to cope better. I used to work nights and some days I’d sleep through, some days I just couldn’t, but that was my problem, no one else’s.

I had a neighbour like this. She didn’t work shifts, she just lived alone and had a very quiet life. She once told me she’d been walking the streets crying bc we had a dinner party until 22:00. (Not a wild party - just dinner). She would talk to me over the fence so I felt I could never go into my own garden.

in the end I wrote her a letter listing all the changes we had made to our routine and home for her - including reconfiguring our downstairs, not playing music in our kitchen etc etc. I asked her to please stop talking over the fence and come to my door if she had an issue to raise.

she never spoke to me again. It was very awkward but at least we could go back to living our lives. I learned that you have to decide for yourself what is reasonable and stick with that. Don’t go by their requests.

I think you need to explicitly tell him that as per council guidelines, a certain level of noise is to be expected between 7am-7pm (check the exact times) and that you would appreciate if he would stop complaining about it as you don’t intend to stop living a normal family life.
You can take the opportunity to remind him however that noise outside these hours is however not acceptable.

He needs to wear noise cancelling ear plugs, maybe buy a pair for him as a good will gesture, but people taking Nightshift jobs need to factor in general daytime noise when sleeping

I say this as a former night shift worker, the man needs to just deal with the noise.

I had to try and sleep through my next door neighbours having a huge extension built, could have cried some days but they weren't unreasonable.

Stop walking on egg shells and go about your normal day to day life.

OP you can be considerate to a point, as in if you know he leaves for work at 5pm and you think at 4pm oh I need to vac and I need to wash up and I need to dust, you could choose to vac last. But no one should be expected to not make normal noise, so if you need to vac at 3pm because thats what works for you then thats what you should do. He should buy earplugs.

My neighbour is clearly a bit deaf as his TV is so loud it keeps us awake. So we run a fan and white noise on my phone. We now can't hear him. Is it ideal for us? No! Is it fair for him to have his TV on? Of course it is! So we make a sensible allowance.

YANBU. I’ve worked night shifts for twenty years. Daytime noise is just part of the deal. You use ear plugs, white noise, keep windows shut and fan on etc. Good sleep hygiene really helps as well so if he is staying awake until the brightest part of the day then it’s no wonder he’s struggling.

The fact that he made antisocial noise when it suited him would make me even less inclined to be quiet in the day!

Raise it with your neighbour, the homeowner, not the lodger.

I work til 10pm and tend not to go to bed until 3am/4am due to various things (mostly medication timing so I can be at my most awake during my work hours) - yes it is a bit irritating when I get woken up in the middle of my 'night' by daytime noises but that's my problem, I am the one who lives to an unusual schedule!

The only thing I have asked of my immediate neighbours is that they don't knock on my door for things that can wait, until 12 noon or later (obviously if its super important I don't expect that). More because it takes me half an hour to wake up properly and if they want sense outta me, they are better off waiting.

Both are fine with that and very kindly avoid very noisy stuff until after then if they can but I don't expect it and certainly would not demand it!

Buy some ear plugs neighbour!

Solved.

I have had a similar situation it’s ok for them to make a noise but I didn’t complain because I’m not an idiot. Then occasionally my dog barks and you would think it’s all day. You have to ignore them op. I would point out the times you have heard him make a noise if it carries on.

Your DP needs to be more assertive in shutting this guy down when he complains at work. I worked night shifts for a number of years so I do have some sympathy, but your neighbour needs to realise that he’s the one out of step with the rest of the world. The everyday goings-on of the neighbourhood can’t revolve around him, he needs to make his own adjustments.

Ridiculous. I am sympathetic to night shift workers, especially on hot summers day where it must be hard to sleep anyway, x100 with addednoise, but thats really bot your problem. Your do needs to tell him to stop complaining.

Oh it's just great isn't it, when noisy neighbours are the first to complain if you so much as dare to sneeze!

One of my neighbours is incredibly noisy. She doesn't work so is always home. She plays loud music all the time, she's constantly on video calls with friends where they shout and squeal (she's 54) and her car stereo when she goes out and comes home is so loud that people two streets down have asked us if we know who's making that noise.

Yet, one day my partner came home with his car music SLIGHTLY louder than usual. He usually waits til he's left our estate to play music as he's considerate, and turns it off before he pulls in. I was home and I barely heard it - she sticks her head out of the window without seconds, "joking" what noisy neighbours we were! The bare faced cheek! My partner looked up and yelled "you can talk!"

As pps have said, I would carry on as usual. There is literally nothing else you can do. Don't make extra noise to wind him up (not that you seem the type). His life choices aren't your problem.

Our neighbours complained about our noise, the council set up some noise detecting something and low and behold, there was nothing of actual concern, just normal family sounds and a very ordinary schedule (we don't have parties at home, our telly and radio are only loud enough for the rooms they're in, my teens use headphones for their music and gaming etc). It stressed me right out at the time but in hindsight I'm glad they took it that far as it all just proved they were being ridiculous.

Growing up, my mum did nightshifts as it meant she could sleep while we were in school but they were still able to do school pick up and drop offs. There'd be a sign on the front door asking that people didn't knock on the door as a nightworker was sleeping but she'd not expect neighbours to cease living their normal lives during the day.

"I understand you're struggling to sleep but you have no right to dictate how we live in our own home and garden, especially when we don't make an unreasonable amount of noise. I recommend that you research noise cancelling headphones or those loop things."

my dh works mostly night shifts. it's just tough you get earplugs or white noise machines. you can't stop people living their normal lives

How does the owner of the house deal with this guy? Surely he won't be able to do anything in his own house without disturbing the lodger?

You've done nothing wrong. The council explicitly states that noise complaints about daily living sounds during the day due to clashes in shift work are not legitimate reasons for complaints.

If the guy doesn't like it surely he's the one who needs to find somewhere else. Or seek daytime employment. Or invest in decent noise cancelling headphones. They really do work. But again it's not down to you to tell him this or appease him.

this

Ignore him