Neighbour on night shifts complaining about normal daytime noise during holidays

I think you need to explicitly tell him that as per council guidelines, a certain level of noise is to be expected between 7am-7pm (check the exact times) and that you would appreciate if he would stop complaining about it as you don’t intend to stop living a normal family life.
You can take the opportunity to remind him however that noise outside these hours is however not acceptable.

I had a neighbour like this. She didn’t work shifts, she just lived alone and had a very quiet life. She once told me she’d been walking the streets crying bc we had a dinner party until 22:00. (Not a wild party - just dinner). She would talk to me over the fence so I felt I could never go into my own garden.

in the end I wrote her a letter listing all the changes we had made to our routine and home for her - including reconfiguring our downstairs, not playing music in our kitchen etc etc. I asked her to please stop talking over the fence and come to my door if she had an issue to raise.

she never spoke to me again. It was very awkward but at least we could go back to living our lives. I learned that you have to decide for yourself what is reasonable and stick with that. Don’t go by their requests.

Definitely do not stop living your life because this idiot can’t sort himself out for his night shifts. He needs to learn how to cope better. I used to work nights and some days I’d sleep through, some days I just couldn’t, but that was my problem, no one else’s.

Don’t entertain this at all, and make sure that your partner isn’t either.

Just a brisk “Mate, it’s normal daytime noise. If you want to sleep in the day you’ll need to get some earplugs”. Don’t apologise, don’t try to stay silent for him, don’t change how you live.

If it’s causing issues locally consider reporting him for harassment (or threatening to) and if it’s causing issues in work consider reporting it to HR/management.

But basically don’t change a thing, don’t apologise, and don’t behave as though this is your problem to solve or he will never stop moaning at you!

I’d be telling him to grow the fuck up and get ear plugs, a white noise machine and an eye mask like everyone else who works nights.

Tell him to invest in some ear plugs! you can’t stop living your life to accommodate his hours, it doesn’t sound as if you are excessively noisy so ignore him.

You need to live your lives with normal every day noise.

He sounds an entitled nasty piece of work and his night shifts are not your problem. Agree other posts to speak to the neighbour/landlord.

Snoring friend leant me a pair of £30 earplugs on holiday from Amazon and I couldn’t hear a thing. Could you get him a pair of those?

Absolutely this. The individualistic mindset some people have is frightening.

I used to work nights. The fact is, MOST people operate MOST of their life during the day. You can't expect everyone to stop what they're doing just to work around you! Especially when you've chosen to operate unusually, rather than them! I might have felt slightly irked if something like DIY woke me up during the day but I fully accepted that that was part and parcel of night work!

@User3627282646322244 Shift work is hard, and it’s fair to acknowledge that but daytime noise is normal and unavoidable. Teenagers chatting, paddling pools, a car alarm at 5pm, or cutting the grass in the afternoon are all reasonable. Its how society works.

He needs to adapt to his schedule with earplugs, blackout blinds, white noise etc. Expecting neighbours to be silent all day isn’t realistic. You’re already being considerate; you don’t need to tiptoe around your own home.

Perhaps explain this to the owner and explain you are feeling very uncomfortable and don't want to fall out, but when his lodger accepted a job with night shifts, the adjustments come with night work. And add that your household is not personally accountable for all daytime noise where you live, he needs to adapt.

My Mum worked nights and just like your neighbour didn't go to sleep the second she got home from work. It would be like you going to bed at 6pm. She came home at 7am and had to have her "dinner" then unwind before heading to bed.

However, she invested in good noise cancelling ear plugs as the world obviously did not revolve around her and her sleeping.

Just carry on as normal as household noise is part of normal acceptable living. Open your windows, hoover etc. If he wants to complain tell him to contact the Environmental Health Department and they will tell him the same thing as I have, it is normal household noise within acceptable hours.

YANBU, he can't expect the world to stop for him. Some minor things you could do, like hoovering etc, but he can't expect kids not to play or enjoy their summer holidays. He needs to wear earplugs, play music etc, to help himself.

He showed you no consideration previously.

Your DH can report him to HR if he is harassing him at work.

Ultimately he needs to move to somewhere with no neighbours.

Ignore him. My dm used to do nights, on Sunday mornings the church bells would peal before services. Dm hated it but she didnt complain.

Your DH needs to tell him to stop bothering him at work or he’ll report him to HR/manager for harassment.

i have a health condition which means I need to nap in the day- sometimes several times. I found using a fan for noise or wax ear plugs. He needs to try them.

While I can see why he’s annoyed, he can’t be unreasonable. He needs to take steps to sort his own stuff . Carry on. What’s he going to do- report you?

Just tell him it's ordinary daytime noise, and that he should wear earplugs as there is nothing that can be done about it.

Tell him to buy some earplugs or get a day time job. His employment arrangements are not your problem.

If I read it correctly and it’s the lodger you are having issues with, then you need to tell your neighbour. You also need to tell him about this guy’s noise when neighbour is not there.

Stop tip toeing and tell him to shut the fuck up! It’s daytime noise, tough shit!

Urgh my neighbour as a child used to kick off at us playing in the garden because he worked nights. My parents used to pander to it and bring us in or tell us to be quiet. Absolutely never again will I pander to a stupid man who doesn’t realise working nights is a choice and he is not entitled to silence for his sleep. Carry on as you were. Hoover your home. Play music. Cut the grass. This is all normal daytime noise. He will just have to deal with it

Print him out a page with loads of suggestion for ear plugs on and say “one of these should help you manage the sounds of everyday daytime noise”

If he's previously made a lot of noise at 4am in the past by partying then he can't really except you to now bend over backwards to accommodate his wants. It's an unreasonable ask of him to expect you to be silent throughout the day anyway, but he's clearly not a considerate person, so I wouldn't be bothered about upsetting him tbh. I would carry on as you are. It's on him to find solutions to sleep through normal levels of daily noise (or find a non night shift job), not on you to tiptoe around him

So tell your boyfriend not to pass on any of the man's whining, he should be putting a stop to it.
He can easily say 'feel free to make a noise complaint to the council, it's no problem at all :)' it'll give the council a laugh.