First of, I’m fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable, unfortunately I do not have any living family or friends to talk to and so I need some advice.
we are a family of 4, 2 small children under the age of 6.
My husband is the main earner and pays the majority of the bills. I ‘send’ him money when I can, as he doesn’t join finances with me. his choice not mine. I am not in debt or have bad credit. The opposite in fact, as when we met he defaulted but that has now been wiped away.
For perspective he makes money passively, and his take home is around 5-7k a month. I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to start a business over the last few years and I am out the house a lot more than him. He does not work in the conventional sense (think about investing etc) and doesn’t feel the need to work because his passive income is so high. That’s fine, and I respect that. However he could get a 9-5 and double his income as he’s very skilled. He chooses not to, and stays home all day.
Due to my business not working out, I am starting a job in the next few weeks. I will not receive a pay till end September or early October. I am brassic. I am not sure I will make my commercial rent on my business. I am in the midst of closing it down but I am tied into a lease. I am bending over backwards, and plan to work over full time hours in my new job and my business.
I was crying to him earlier, because I have very little in my bank. I have no access to joint money. He mentioned ‘if you are struggling I’ll see what I can do’. He has over 15k in savings. He could get a 9-5 if he wanted to but chooses not to because his passive income is so high. I feel I’m unreasonable to ask him for access to ‘family money’ because he covers so much. He goes on holidays and trips away with his friends, nights out etc and I don’t even get my hair done. I am told I am incredibly lucky because he cover the bills and mortgage and I just send him 250-1000 a month. I also do food shopping when I can. He is not struggling and I am drowning. I am doing my best and prepared to work the hours needed but i cannot help but feel this is unfair? If I bring it up to him he says I’m lucky and ungrateful. He is generous with me and the children. I am doing my best, but I just feel like he could offer to cover to loan me my commercial rent for this month, give me access to family money for food shopping etc and I can give him the the money back when I’m paid. I don’t want to have to beg him.
I know my failing business is my problem but I can’t do anywhere then I am. My new job is full time and I’m still taking bookings in my business. I am going to work 40-60 hours a week to get out of the hole. (Of which he will moan about having the children on his own, but that’s another story)
Unfortunately this is one of many reasons that our marriage is failing, but he turns it on me and tells me I am lucky as he helps around the house (he should, he’s always here!) and financially stable 😢