Having your children adopted

I'm so sorry to hear your problem OP. Can you try Samaritans? They have a safeguarding policy and may be able to navigate you to the correct people regarding the children. Whether that is SS or a charity like NSPCC that might be able to arrange respite or foster so you can keep in contact with the children until you feel strong again.
If you have made your mind up then please make it a smooth as you possibly can for yourself snd the kids. I wish you well in your endeavours.

You don't just click your fingers and they're gone, there will be a process. I'd suggest SS would be your first port of call.

Your children are unlikely to be adopted initially, possibly ever and will spend at least half of their current lives in care. Don’t delude yourself that they will move to a loving home and it will be happily ever after for them.

Parenting isn’t inherently depressing. Have you been feeling like this since the birth? Go back to the GP and get antidepressants. You can also self refer for talking therapy online.

Does the father have any parents/siblings, even if he himself isn’t in the picture?

Social services can send you on a parenting course to help give you tips and techniques. I think that’s the next step

I hear you when you say you don't want SS help but if you do want to go down the road of having them taken into care then you will need to engage with them. So GP is the first stop for this really and ask to see the Health visitor in our DCs are young. There are also a load of support groups like Gingerbread for single parents who will be able to offer you advice and support with how you are feeling and what you can do.

The worry is that if you don't change something, or try to engage with a group or someone, then nothing will change. Really consider if you want to be stuck like this (obviously you don't) do you are going to have to be proactive in finding a solution for all of you. I haven't RTFT so not sure if anyone has mentioned school support, though I know it's school hols now.

I can hardly believe what I'm reading.

I really hope you get the help you need OP because your dc deserve better.

Go to the GP, and keep going until you get help. And try harder each day to be a decent parent.

Are they twins Op?
I agree with other posters you need to seek help urgently for this, the tone of your posts are incredibly sad and worrying

I think the fact that you are considering this because you believe it’s best for your children says a lot about your character OP and you deserve credit for that.

In terms of steps, you do need to contact your GP and you do need to contact social services to get any types of balls rolling. Do this sooner rather than later as your current frame of mind isn’t good for you or the children.
wishing you well OP.

Bless you.. they are very young, it's so hard when they're little especially if you're a single mum and don't have family support. Remember they grow up and things get easier then.

How old are your children?
Do you have any help at all from family or friends?
Looking after children when you are feeling the way you do right now is so hard. Are these feelings new or have they been going on since your last child was born?

Although a GP can of course help you that won’t be today. If at any point you feel you are getting to the point that you are out of control - put the children in a safe place and then shut yourself in a different room and call ANYONE. 999, 111, social services a friend a family member.
Right now you are reaching out for some support/advice on how to relinquish your children - it isn’t something that can be arranged in one day so ask for support today - call social services. A duty social worker can talk to you and maybe get you some help today.

This is horrendous OP 😢

You have to contact social services , whether you want support or not. They are the route to adoption.

But in all honesty they are going to make sure you have tried absolutely everything first , including getting your own mental health needs met. So you need to start there really. Ask for a meeting with your GP AND Children’s services. Then tell them how you really feel.

Speak to your GP or call social services. They can help you. It sounds like you need support.

Sorry you are struggling so much.

Are these feelings recent or have you felt exactly the same for a long time?

I think you need to contact SS asap, explain your feelings and your situation and they can start the process for you.

I would imagine they’ll do some kind of assessment of you and your children initially to find all the facts. It might be that the children can go to foster care initially whilst you seek help for yourself? But if this isn’t an option they’d ultimately progress to adoption if it was in the children’s best interests and safety.

I don’t want to sound patronising but I expect most parents would say they’ve got angry at various times, parenting is bloody tough, especially if you’re doing it solo. Of course there’s a limit as to what is normal and what is not a healthy environment for children to grow up in.

please do contact SS and let them help you make the best decision. Good luck.

They aren't puppies you can abandon to the system. You need to prioritise getting yourself help or support
Start with your gp.

I know someone who was having suicidal thoughts and was so anxious they were convinced that was the answer, they were so unhappy. They're now on anti anxiety medication and it's changed their lives.

You're down the bottom of a big hole and you have my sympathies, when I was at my worst struggling with parenting, depression and a very unhelpful ex I had some awful thoughts and was scared of my own temper for myself and my children. I feel sad looking back that things got that bad, good for you for acknowledging you have a problem.

Presumably you still love them as you want what's best for them. The best for most children is their mother. If they go into care I believe it's less likely they'll be adopted if they're older children and quite possibly separated from each other.

Do you have any family you can talk to? You really do have my empathy, I used to cross the days off the calendar and that was the highlight of the day. Another day we made through. Can any part of you imagine moving forward and coping, therapy and medication and respite would surely be worth a try, don't you owe that to yourself and your children before giving up on them.

@altarego

Im sorry you are feeling like this.
From a purely practical and process point of view its not that easy to put yout children into care. And it can't be done without social services involvement. Care is a last resort and won't be dobe until support and other options are looked at.
You haven't said how old they are or how many. You should be aware that older children, ie over the age of 5 are difficult to find adopters for so your children may end up in foster care. They may also be separated.
You sound overwhelmed, it would be much better if you reached out for support

Your first step is to contact your local council's children's services department.

You must be really struggling to be considering this, and I notice in your OP you are talking about the negative effects on your children of your behaviour and the way you are feeling. It sounds like you think they would be better off with others and that you don't want to cause them harm. This shows you love them and are thinking of their wellbeing.
As Pps have said, you would need to engage with SS to talk about your children being taken into care (which is what would happen prior to adoption). You might find SS stressful as well. Would you consider speaking to your GP about the panic and anger, to see if you could try e.g. a beta blocker to help with this, as an interim measure? Even just to help you stay calm during the process you want to go through?

OP, you sound overwhelmed. Have you seen your doctor? When I felt overwhelmed when my children were very young I was given anti-depressants and they were amazing. It meant I could change my behaviour, which meant they did too. Your children deserve a huge amount of effort here. Make an appointment for tomorrow at the doctor's - stress the importance to the receptionist.