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Original poster

To ask if you'd be ok with your DP doing a hobby 3-5 evenings a week?

139 replies

Iamsohungryy · 29/07/2026 22:37

If it were a competitive sport and you had no kids. Sometimes once or twice a week, but they keep taking on new things so there can be weeks where it's Monday to Friday. This is living together btw. Or would you find it too much?

OP posts:
Icecreamisthebest · 29/07/2026 22:53

5 too much. 3 ok. As long as he was still pulling his weight around the house and also actively focused on nurturing our relationship.

whatisforteamum · 29/07/2026 22:53

Sounds like an affair.Are you sure the hobby is the real reason.

Any1ForTennis · 29/07/2026 22:53

I wouldn't complain as I used to go to the gym about 4 nights a week straight from work and didn't get home until 8pm.

LizzieSiddal · 29/07/2026 22:52

Iamsohungryy · 29/07/2026 22:47

Until 10/11 usually

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Oh no I would not be happy with that at all. Once or twice a week ok, certainly not 5 nights a week.
There’s no reason to live together, he may as well go and live elsewhere.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 29/07/2026 22:51

Be wary if you ever have children and the hobby's are still no1.
Lots of women on MN saying oh disappearing to hobbies and receive little help with the children etc.

Minasama · 29/07/2026 22:51

Not much point being together if he’s out 5 nights a week. I find 3 ok but 5 too many. If you had kids this would cause deep resentment…

NelferchyLlyn · 29/07/2026 22:50

Pre children, I would have felt a little neglected.

With children, definately no chance would dh be ducking out of parental responsibilities.

Now the children have grown up and left home, I wouldnt mind so much tbh. I just enjoy the peace tbh.

JugBouquet · 29/07/2026 22:50

Iamsohungryy · 29/07/2026 22:41

I try to do things once or twice a week and go and see my own family, but some nights i just like to rest/sleep and the house needs cleaning.

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Bluntly, if the alternative to doing a sport or whatever that I love and going to sleep or cleaning, I’d choose the hobby — why wouldn’t I?

AImportantMermaid · 29/07/2026 22:47

Depends on the couple. I know of one where one of them coached at elite level 6-9pm Monday to Friday and Saturday 9am-2pm 50 weeks of the year -as a volunteer! It seemed to work for them, but it definitely wouldn’t work for me.

Original poster
Iamsohungryy · 29/07/2026 22:47

LizzieSiddal · 29/07/2026 22:43

Depends really. Does it take the whole evening?

Until 10/11 usually

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 29/07/2026 22:43

Depends really. Does it take the whole evening?

Original poster
Iamsohungryy · 29/07/2026 22:41

jackstini · 29/07/2026 22:40

Not really no

That’s half his spare time / which shows you where you are as a priority

Unless you are very casual & you do stuff 3-4 nights a week too, but you’re living together…

I try to do things once or twice a week and go and see my own family, but some nights i just like to rest/sleep and the house needs cleaning.

OP posts:
TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · 29/07/2026 22:40

If no kids then I'd don't think I'd mind too much at 3 or 4 nights a week if weekends were still free. 5 nights might be a bit much if every week.

jackstini · 29/07/2026 22:40

Not really no

That’s half his spare time / which shows you where you are as a priority

Unless you are very casual & you do stuff 3-4 nights a week too, but you’re living together…

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