My father is a paedophile and I don't know what to do

9 replies

Trotei · 26/07/2026 00:23

He has been looking at images of child sex abuse. I don't know for how long because his internet history only goes back three years. It certainly goes back to then. I have two grown up sons. So they are not at risk. I have told them what I have found out. They will not have any further contact with him.

I don't want to have any contact with him. But both of my parents are elderly and my mother has dementia.She does not have capacity to understand this. I want to continue to support her. But I never want to see him again. I've reported him to the police. I don't know what to do. I hate him. I can't talk to anyone of my friends about this. I don't know that I ever can. I feel very alone.

OP posts:

KitchenFaust · 26/07/2026 00:30

I’m so very sorry. I’m here if you want to say anything

OriginalUsername2 · 26/07/2026 00:33

Good lord, I’m so sorry. You must feel like your world has turned inside out. You did the right things, I’m guessing this was very recent that you found out?

I would be very careful who I told too if it were me. I wonder if the police could point you to resources to help you process this?

Besidemyselfwithworry · 26/07/2026 00:35

im so sorry to hear this
I think you’ve done absolutely the right thing reporting him - I would speak to the police family liaison officer and see what advice they can give.

Choconuttolata · 26/07/2026 00:38

There are charities that support families that can give you independent support without judgement.

I am so sorry, it must be a complete shock and I am not surprised you are struggling right now.

You have done the right thing by reporting him to the Police.

https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/concerned-about-the-behaviour-of-another-adult/inform-for-families-of-people-who-have-offended-online/

Inform - for families of people who have offended online - Stop It Now

Our Inform programme supports partners, ex-partners, relatives and friends of anyone who has been arrested, cautioned or convicted for internet offences involving indecent images of children or sexual communication with children. To discuss the course...

https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/concerned-about-the-behaviour-of-another-adult/inform-for-families-of-people-who-have-offended-online

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 26/07/2026 00:39

That's the mother of all bombshells to have dropped on your life and your mum's.
As pp said hopefully police can point you to support organisations.
Be careful who you tell as some can't wait to impart others misfortune to others.

youplonkerdave · 26/07/2026 00:40

Have they arrested him? Hopefully he’ll go to prison for his crime and you’ll not have to deal with him. You’ll need a plan for your mum’s care in place so that he can’t use this as a reason to be spared.

Original poster

Trotei · 26/07/2026 00:56

No, they haven't arrested him. Apparently it can take between 6-12 months to build a case. I reported anonymously so I won't get updates.

Meantime my mother is declining. She's largely incontinent, doesn't know what day it is, doesn't know who I am, refuses help with washing, has dirty clothes unless I take her away and change her, and spends her days sitting next to a paedophile watching fucking midsummer murders on a loop on some godforsaken channel or other. It's like a house of fucking horrors really. A big part of me wants to get her out of there. But then tbh he was quite often a shit dad anyway, violent, fucked up by his own horrific childhood etc, and she was fine with staying with him despite that. It's all a complete mess.

OP posts:

MummyWillow1 · 26/07/2026 01:05

Definitely speak to a social worker to get a care plan for your mother sorted, sounds like getting her settled in a care home might be the best option then you can visit her and leave home to fester.

KitchenFaust · 26/07/2026 08:19

I think put all your energies into getting your mother into a care home over the next few months. That would resolve a few things and make your next decisions easier

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