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Next doors child always in my house

162 replies

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 14:50

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

OP posts:
mumuseli · 25/07/2026 16:39

Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:51

No one wants the kid. Well that’s not your problem

Gosh that is sad.
People often hark on about the good old days when we were kids and we played out and were in and out of each others homes. Then when something like this happens now, they complain about having to spare a bit of squash.

Mumto4loveliesxx · 25/07/2026 16:39

Can you say you’ve booked intensive online tutoring, so while he’s staying in, he won’t be available for play.

mumuseli · 25/07/2026 16:35

If you're about anyway, and your son is pleased to play with her, and you're only providing a bit of squash then why not?

We had a similar situation, and I felt sorry for the girl. My DC and her don't get on anymore and she moved onto being with other neighbours' kids and now is old enough to go off further afield with other friends, and that's fine - it was nice for a certain time in my DC's life.

It's good to put in bondaries though, and I'd have no qualms about doing that. Eg, "Ok Daisy, you can play with Alfie for the next half hour, then it's time to go back to your great grandparents".

alexdgr8 · 25/07/2026 16:29

I think you need to be more proactive in this scenario.
When you see the GM drive up go out and say can I have a word.
Preferably not in front of either child.
Then simply say we cannot have GD popping in ad hoc as it interferes with our family plans.
We dont mind the occasional play date as long as it is arranged in advance so that we can plan out our day.
Shall we exchange phone numbers. ?
Be firm and clear.
Good luck.

godmum56 · 25/07/2026 16:27

AmberSpy · 25/07/2026 15:30

YANBU OP but god, this poor little girl, how sad that none of her relatives can be arsed with her. I feel really sorry for her.

then have her at your house

Melograno · 25/07/2026 16:23

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 15:00

You are right. I’d love to say NOT TODAY but my son will ask why, and he doesn’t understand “because the grown ups in her life are taking the piss” 🥴🥴🥴

You are the adult though
Speak to DS " friend can only come once a week"
Then go and tell the GP CFers that and tell them not to send her round other than the prearranged day
Job done
You will be teaching your son about boundaries

MagicThanks · 25/07/2026 16:13

If she asks what time, just say “we can’t have you round tomorrow, we’re going to have family time.” Tell your son “it’s just family time today - X can come another day”.

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 16:13

FlapperFlamingo · 25/07/2026 16:11

I just used to say “Not today, we’re busy” and no, I never felt guilty! The great grandparents are taking the piss! Of course your DS may like her there but every other day is the maximum I’d allow. Unless they start paying you :)

They are piss takers. They’ve got a few grandkids /great grandkids they have never been bothered with.
The girl who comes to my house, she has a relationship with them as their daughter/girls grandmother facilitates it (and drops her off with time with them/drops her off so she can come to our house).

OP posts:
GottaBeStrong · 25/07/2026 16:12

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 15:00

You are right. I’d love to say NOT TODAY but my son will ask why, and he doesn’t understand “because the grown ups in her life are taking the piss” 🥴🥴🥴

Tell him in advance. Explain that she has come to visit her great grandparents and she needs to spend some time doing that.

FlapperFlamingo · 25/07/2026 16:11

I just used to say “Not today, we’re busy” and no, I never felt guilty! The great grandparents are taking the piss! Of course your DS may like her there but every other day is the maximum I’d allow. Unless they start paying you :)

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 16:07

I just said we’re out tomorrow, with my son’s friend. She said what time? 😫🤪 I said all day, we’re out all day tomorrow…
Ill be telling her nan that too when I walk her back in an hour

OP posts:
Gardenisablooming · 25/07/2026 16:04

Pop a note through that sorry you aren't a child care facility and keep your door locked...

HoppityBun · 25/07/2026 16:03

Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:51

No one wants the kid. Well that’s not your problem

It takes a village. But not this village

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 16:03

Maybeitllneverhappen · 25/07/2026 16:00

You do realise that this could be how it is until September if you don't take action. It looks like this is their arrangement for the school holidays. You need to see the neighbours and say she is allowed to visit Mondays 2-5 (or whatever suits you) but otherwise it is not convenient.

She is back with her other grandparents the whole of next week and then on holidays for another week, so that’s 2 weeks, then we are away for a week, so that’s 3 weeks peace I think (I am not 100% where she is next week though).
Lots of you are right though, I’ll be taking her back at 5 when my son has his dinner.

OP posts:
Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 16:01

AutumnAllTheWay · 25/07/2026 15:58

Think what would work and say that over and over again, just Mondays thanks, see you then or whatever.

On a plus its nice your son enjoys it

Edited

He does enjoy it. Equally I know when his best friends are over next week, he’s not going to want her here then.

OP posts:
Maybeitllneverhappen · 25/07/2026 16:00

You do realise that this could be how it is until September if you don't take action. It looks like this is their arrangement for the school holidays. You need to see the neighbours and say she is allowed to visit Mondays 2-5 (or whatever suits you) but otherwise it is not convenient.

AutumnAllTheWay · 25/07/2026 15:58

Think what would work and say that over and over again, just Mondays thanks, see you then or whatever.

On a plus its nice your son enjoys it

EmeraldShamrock000 · 25/07/2026 15:52

godmum56 · 25/07/2026 15:26

in that case, she can say "she can come when I invite her"

That’s fair. Going around to the great grand parents house to say stop using me for childcare is very different than saying that she is welcome when invited.

Pinkissmart · 25/07/2026 15:51

That poor child.

However, it is absolutely ok to say that you have other plans

Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:51

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 15:50

I don’t think her parents do either if im honest.
The grandparents I think are mainly bringing her up

No one wants the kid. Well that’s not your problem

SunnySunnyDayz · 25/07/2026 15:51

To me it's sounding more like you want to punish her guardians for 'offloading' her onto you than her visits are unpleasant.

You've said your son enjoys playing with her and you're obviously in. It doesn't sound like your day would be improved without her visits.

Obviously you can just tell her today is it convenient when she knocks, that's your call. And she'll go back next door but likely not back to her gran who you perceive go be the one using you as childcare.

I'd be letting her play whilst it was convenient and ds happy, sending home when you don't want her and giving her a little instruction on polite conversation.

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 15:50

Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:48

@Kidsalwayshere The grandparents couldn’t give a shit about the kid. What a fucking cheek

I don’t think her parents do either if im honest.
The grandparents I think are mainly bringing her up

OP posts:
Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:48

@Kidsalwayshere The grandparents couldn’t give a shit about the kid. What a fucking cheek

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 15:45

Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:43

Fuck me that’d drive me insane.

Yup!
If I realised my son had been somewhere every day for 6 days in a row, I’d be checking if it’s ok every time, and offering money for snacks or taking over snacks

OP posts:
Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 15:43

Fuck me that’d drive me insane.